Chapter Twenty Six:
Packing Vania up to leave for the academy was hard on all of us, but Ana more than anyone seemed to be the one who got lost in herself the most. She seemed to distance herself from us. I knew Ana was struggling with letting Vania go because she and her sister had grown close since Ana’s poisoning and stroke. It had been Vania who had jumped into action after Ana had slumped over the breakfast table that morning, and it had been Vania who had patiently prayed with her sister as she struggled to relearn so many things over again. Ana now had issues with balance, but because of her sister’s quick actions, Ana was with us, and still able to do all that she had done before. It was truly an answer to prayer. I was not surprised that Ana was taking her sisters leaving hard, but I had not expected her to take it as hard as she was. It was hard on all of us really.
Ana lost herself in her books and her writing in the days that led up to her sisters leaving. She had always loved to read and write, but she was doing this now to try and mask the pain she was feeling. I knew Ana well enough to know that. Ana did that when she was hurting she went to her books, and her stories for solace, and I was glad she had that outlet that gift. It was a positive way to deal with her stress, but I wanted her to understand it was okay to hurt as well.
Lord help Ana deal with this, it hurts her that her sister is leaving and I can understand that, but in a couple of years it will be her turn to spread her wings and fly, and we are going to do everything in our power to make sure we can do all we can for her, just as we did for Vania. Help her to see that just because Vania is leaving it doesn’t mean that she is never coming back, this is something Vania has to do. I know the idea of the dangers of being an officer scare Ana, make her worry about losing her sister. But Lord though we know full well the dangers that being a cop can bring, because she is following in her fathers and my footsteps, we understand too, that you have her in your hands.
“Ana please don’t be mad at me for leaving.”
“Vania I am not mad at you, I am scared, you have helped me through so much, I still need my big sister.”
“And I am still going to be there for you, just because we aren’t going to be in the same house, doesn’t mean I am going to love you any less. You can call me when you need to talk.” Vania said handing her sister a cell phone. “I put you on my plan, and set everything up, anytime you need to talk all you have to do is call or text. I am not going to stop being your sister, and I am not going to stop caring Ana. I love you, you are my sister, that will never change.”
“Thank you Vania.”
“I have something for you too Vania. It’s nothing like a cell phone, but I wrote this for you.”
“Ana thank you, I would rather have your writing anyway, because it comes from your heart. And you have an amazing gift.”
“Mom says I take after Aunt Anna.”
“I think she is right, but you have a talent that is all your own to. You have stories that only you can tell.”
“Thank you Vania. I am so glad the good Lord blessed me with you for an older sister.”
I watched as my daughter said there good byes, and took a moment to read the poem Ana had written for her sister. I knew my daughter had a talent for writing, she had already been published and she was not yet sixteen, but this poem probably meant more than anything she had ever written especially to Vania.
You saw when I was broken
My wings not letting me fly
And you mended them
With your gentle but
When I wanted to give
Just let myself fade away
You were the courage
That told me to move on
To push past
But to never give up
Until God gives
Us our last breath.
I will always love you Vania, you will always be my older sister, and I am going to continue to look up to you. I know you have to go, that God is calling you to be an officer and protect our streets, and I know you are going to do us all proud, but I feel like such a little girl, because all I want to do is just hug you and cry like I did as I struggled to get back on my feet after what happened. You didn’t let me give up Vania and I appreciate that, because I do not know if I would have even survived if it hadn’t been for you. I truly believe you saved my life, in more ways than one.
I couldn’t help but let the tears flow as I read the poem and note Ana had written to her sister. I felt a little grateful to because we had children that loved each other. They may fight from time to time, but I knew that when push came to shove my children would do everything in their power to help one another.
“Vania we are really going to miss you, but if we don’t let you go now, I don’t know if we will ever be able to let you go.” I admitted.
“I know Mom I really do need to let you go, but leaving is hard, saying goodbye is hard, but I can’t prolong it anymore. Ana you are the oldest at home now, so make sure you guide Ahab and Jasmine, and do your best to help take care of Mechela, and help Jelena see what a good person she is. Sometimes our cousin can be so down on herself.”
“I know Vania and I will do my best.”
Vania managed to make it through her goodbyes to Ahab and Jasmine, Jelena, Mechela and the rest of the family. She had said her goodbyes to her Father and I several times already, and it was not getting any easier. We knew that Vania would make it, it just hurt letting her go, letting her spread her wings and fly.
After Vania was safely on the road, I found myself turning to my Bible for the comfort I needed. I knew the good Lord would get me through this just as he had got me through so much before. Vania would be okay, she would do great at the academy and she would make us all proud, I had no doubt about that.
My Bible reading took me to Ephesians 3:
God’s Marvelous Plan for the Gentiles
1 For this reason I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for the sake of you Gentiles—
2 Surely you have heard about the administration of God’s grace that was given to me for you, 3 that is, the mystery made known to me by revelation, as I have already written briefly. 4 In reading this, then, you will be able to understand my insight into the mystery of Christ, 5 which was not made known to people in other generations as it has now been revealed by the Spirit to God’s holy apostles and prophets. 6 This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promise in Christ Jesus.
7 I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace given me through the working of his power. 8 Although I am less than the least of all the Lord’s people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the boundless riches of Christ, 9 and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. 10 His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, 11 according to his eternal purpose that he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. 12 In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. 13 I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory.
A Prayer for the Ephesians
14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I was grateful for the Lord and the comfort he brought me. I was doing a lot of praying and talking to the Lord in the hours since Vania had left, it hadn’t even been a full day, and already I missed her like crazy, but Vania was doing what was right for her, and I was proud that she made that decision.