“We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us. They help us learn to endure.” Romans 5:3
So, how do we effectively deal with a personality conflict and why does it occur? Conflict happens when two or more people with like capabilities are thrown into the same cesspool of life. This place could be a work environment or even a mission service. The truth is, we all have at least one of these people in each of our lives—someone that ‘nit-picks’ everything we do - someone that we cannot please no matter how hard we try. It’s as if we’re doomed if we do and doomed if we don’t. This, in turn, causes confusion and chaos in our lives. What do we do?
The best way to handle these people and the circumstances presented is to be on guard. Stand true to what we believe. Everything we do must be done with love. Be careful how we act and react to the other person’s downplay of our ability. More importantly, we should make it a point to never criticize the other person. Many times, it seems like they are there to cause undue harm, but in essence they’re probably in place to challenge and build. You see, God cares more for our character than our comfort. And, I’m certain that He allows difficult people along the way to build us up, not put us down.
We have to realize too, that the underlying root of the problem in any conflict is ‘self.’ We get so caught up in my wants, my needs, my job, my position, my ego --that we forget that the other person has the same turmoil going on inside. The exact same wants, needs and desires that we encompass, he also encompasses. That’s why we experience conflict!
So, how do we fix the problem? I don’t think we can. Not in our own power anyway. We have to put God first and leave the consequences up to Him. After all, He purposely places difficult individuals into our lives. Then He gives us the right to choose how we want to act or react. Our choices will make or break us—cause us to be bitter or better.
Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13