Chapter Twenty Eight:
“Mom I want our life back.” Ana said. I knew the tedium of the cabin was getting to her. As majestic as it was, and as much as we liked the view, the peace of this area, we also had a life that was being taken from us. We were tired of hiding from the shadows of our past.
Lord will these monster ever stop chasing us, will we ever be allowed to have our lives back? I want to go back to the business of living. I want our children to stop being afraid of the shadows?I wanted to be able to give my children the lives they deserved not running and hiding. I wanted to be able to go and visit Vania, without afraid of putting her in danger. I did not want to have that guilt of something happening because somehow I had put her in danger, but the fact was it was my Fathers fault, he was the monster.
Our father was a monster.“Ana I want this to end to but we are going to have to rough this out for now.”
He had hurt our children.
He had hurt my sisters and myself.
He was responsible for the death of my niece all those years ago.
He’d kidnapped and destroyed so many lives.
The shadows from our past would they ever go away?
Would we ever lead a normal life again?
I couldn’t get wrapped up in all of that though, we were here, we were alive, and my family was okay. Vania was safe, at the academy.
“I know Mom, and I know you are doing your best, we all are, I just wish we could have our lives back. At least I can still walk.”
“How about I ask Dad to watch the other kids, and we drive into town, we can pick up some more books and movies, writing supplies. Whatever you need?”
“Okay Mom. I really don’t need anything but I can never have enough writing supplies. And it would be nice to get out.”
“That’s what I was thinking Ana, we really do need to spend some time together. I think we should try to do this more often.”
“Sounds good to me.”
I knew that we had to do something to ease up the tedium of the day to day. Even if it was a simple trip to town to get a few things. It would be good for Ana and I to spend some time together. It did not seem that we got to much one on one time anymore, but that was true with any of us. All of us living in a small cabin did not grant us much privacy but it was better than the Motor home, as much as we appreciated both, that was for sure.
Before I talked to Jacob about Ana and I having some one on one time, I turned to my Bible to find comfort in Psalm 46
a]b] A song.c] d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.” I was glad that I was going to be able to spend sometime with my daughter. We needed that. We needed a lot of things, but right now we needed to spend time together. We needed to try and live our lives to the fullest despite the things that was going on. I was grateful for the family I had, and I wanted to show them that, each and every one of them.
For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.[
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.[
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
8 Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields[
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Lord I thank you that you have blessed me with the family I have. I know that without them, and especially without you, I could not have got through any of this. I know that despite the bad things in life, there is so much good as well, and that is to your glory. I know I am not always perfect, and when my family is hurting, sometimes I shake my fists at you, but Lord despite that all you remain with me always, and I am more than grateful for that.“Mom thank you.”
“Your welcome Ana. I wish things were different, that we could go back home but for right now, we just have to tough it out, but that doesn’t mean we can’t do something to break the tedium.”
“I know Mom, and I do appreciate everything you and Dad are doing, all the sacrifices you have made, and continue to make for us.”
“Ana you are our child, we are going to do anything we can to keep you and your sisters, and your brother safe. Just as we try to do for your aunts. We are all family and we have to stand by each other.”
“I wish he would get that concept.”
“I do too, but your Grandfather let evil taint him. He let his heart be ruled by the $ and would anything including harming others to get it. Maybe at one time he was a good man, but honestly I can not tell you that. I do not know when this started, but it did, and he let evil overtake him. I want to do everything in power to stop him.”
“You are Mom.”
“I hope so.”
“Believe me you are.”
“Thank you Ana.”
“Thank you Mom.”