Mamm. My beautiful, sweet Mamm. How I miss her.
It was one year ago on Easter. Mamm was delivering home made bread to the church we attend every Sunday when she was struck by a speeding motorcycle. The motorcycle was huge: it was one of the biggest ones I had ever seen! The person driving the motorcycle didn't even bother to stop after the accident had happened: he just kept on going at a high rate of speed.
It was a miracle that Dat, Leo, or the rest of us weren't hurt or even killed in the accident. It was terrifying though, especially since our beloved mother, our dear Mamm, was badly injured.
Dat, who was with her up front, tended to his wife as best as he could. Mamm lay on the road, bloody, bruised, and broken; she was not moving. It scared him. He had our oldest brother, Leo, call for the doctor. Dr. Holzheimer came, but there was nothing he could do: Mamm died before he even got to her.
When we realized that Mamm was dead, never to come back again, oh, how we cried! We all loved our Mamm most firecely; she was the glue that held our family together. We kids grew very scared: we didn't know how we were gong to carry on without her. Yet we, as Amish, had to find a way. We were strong; we would make it if we relied on God to help us through the business of funeral preparations, the funeral itself, the burial, and the long, dark days, monhs, and years that surely laid ahead of us.
The holidays were the worst, particularly Mother's Day, Easter (Easter marked the one-year anniversary since our mother had left us to go live with Jesus up in Heaven), Thanksgiving, and especially Christmas. We felt as if we were living in a dark, dank cave: all the light and joy in our lives went out when Mamm left us.
Dat was raising us, along with the help of Grossmutter and Grossdawdy Miller (Dat's parents). Our older brothers Ezekial, Jonathan, Herschel, and Efriam, Jr., along with our big sisters Rachel, Emma Louise, and Annabelle, helped Gruossmutter and Grossdawdy when Dat was too busy with the farming/chores. It was not easy, but we relied on our deep-seated faith in God and in our community.
I personally don't know how we could have emerged from the grief without them. While we still have days of sadness and despair, we now can remember the joy and good times that we had when Mamm was living. We will never forget her soft, clear brown eyes that reminded us of a gentle cow or lamb, her silky reddish-blonde hair that never seemed to stay in place, her beautiful smile, or her tinkling laughter that reminded us of bells. We will never forget her talents as a seamstress, nurse, mother, cook, or disciplinarian. Mamm was very much loved (and respected) by all who knew her or came into contact with her.
We cry some days, but we have since forgiven the motorcyclist who injured our mother and we pray for his soul every day. We pray for his family and hope that they can move on past this tragedy that came to our family so suddenly. We know that Mamm knew Jesus as her Lord and Saviour and that she rests in His big, strong arms. We know that she is safe, happy, healthy, and above all, healed. That makes us anxious for the time when Jesus will come back so He can take us to Heaven, where we will be reunited once again with our beautiful Mamm.
What a happy day that is going to be!