I have come along way since I was shot at Trenton High four years ago. A long way from the hospital bed that I spent those first few weeks after the accident in, and the therapy sessions that would give me the strength I needed to face life in this chair.
I still grieve not so much for myself but for friends who did not make it. Yet I have forgiven Erica and Kevin for what they have done. Something inside them must have snapped maybe it was the fact that so many of the popular kids spent so much time picking on them.
I wasn't one who picked on anyone. That's just not the way I was brought up, being raised in a Christian family with a Mother who instilled in us, that we should never judge others or make fun of them helped me realize that is not something I would ever want to do.
And she instilled forgiveness in us, even forgiving those who shot me, and encouraging me to do the same, which I did but I must admit the task was not easy. My life had been turned upside down, despite the fact that I had done or said nothing to hurt Erica or Kevin.
Perhaps that was the problem I had done nothing.
I look back now and wish I had told someone in the position of authority what was happening. Maybe I wouldn't be in this chair, and maybe several of my friends wouldn't have died before they had the chance to live.
I know I can not blame myself though. I did not pull that trigger, but I can forgive the one's who did. I can live my life, to the best of my ability.
Which is exactly what I am doing, someday I dream of using my education and what has happened to me to reach others. Currently I am writing my story, and speaking about school violence and bullying.
If what happened to me doesn't get the point across I really don't know what will, but I have to pray that somehow I am making a difference.
Turning something negative into a positive, which I can only do because God has allowed me to.