AuthorsDen.com   Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Lois Santalo, iRon Mullinax, iDave Cole, iDenise Richardson, iRandy Richardson, iGrant Dickinson, iSu Boddie, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

j j leonardo

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Books
· Stories
· 3 Titles
· 1 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Oct, 2011

j j leonardo, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.


Recent stories by j j leonardo
· Taping Hockey Sticks
           >> View all 2


Share    Print  Save   Become a Fan


On Ice Quotable Quotes
By j j leonardo
Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Not rated by the Author.

Share this with your friends on FaceBook

As a ice hockey referee I hear many comments. Here are a few to think about from the beginners.

 

The Mites-Age 6 and Under
On ice “quotable quotes”
 
            The light blue puck is the focus of attention of players whose jerseys almost touch the tops of their skates and think stopping is a luxury. While they are scooting around the rink chasing the puck like a magnet, they have time to think about things to comment on and questions to ask the referees. Here are some of the more curious words of wisdom from the six and under crowd.
           
            Before the start of a game a player skates up and says to me: “My dad says all referees are blind. Are you blind?”
 
            Nine of the ten players on the ice are all clustered around the puck near the goal in typical mite fashion. One unnoticed player is at center ice lying on the ice. The ref spots the kid, blows the whistle and skates over to see what is wrong. He asks, “Are you all right?” The player answers, “I told my dad I was too tired to play hockey this morning. So I’m taking a rest.”
 
            The referee notices a player standing on the blue line looking into the stands for his two minute mini-mite shift. During the line change he still is just standing there failing to notice that he needed to get off the ice. The ref inquires if he needed help. The player responds, “Do you know where my mom is? I have to pee.”
 
            The referee noticed the goalie had been lying on the ice for the entire period stretched out across the goal line. He asked why he was on his belly for the entire time and suggested that he stand on his skates. He answers, “I can’t. My coach says I’m a caterpillar and I have to stay down on the ice.” The ref has heard of the butterfly and stand-up goal tending styles, but never about the caterpillar. So he had to ask the first year dad/coach about his technique. The coach’s explanation, “At this age kids can’t lift the puck, I figured if my goalie lies down and stretched across the goal line no one will score.”
 
            During a mite travel game a player break his hockey stick and not only fails to drop his broken stick to the ice per the rules, but goes over and picks up the broken part from the ice and skates around with both pieces. The ref had no choice but to assess a penalty with an explanation of the rule to the player. When asked why he did not drop the stick, the player’s answer, “My mom would yell at me for not picking up something I broke.”
 
            A rare checking penalty was handed out during a mite game. The player’s reasoning, “I told that kid he was in my way and he did not listen.”
 
            A mite player on the way to the penalty box for his first tripping penalty asked the ref. “Can I go and tell the kid I tripped that I am sorry? I’m supposed to apologize if I do something bad.”
 
            As you can tell kids do listen to some of the thing that the parents are saying. It is curious to note when they feel it is necessary to prove that they understood the lecture.

 

       Web Site: Examiner.com

Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!




Man's Unofficial Guide to the Use of His Garage by Thomas Neviaser

This book is a humorous and informative guide to arranging a garage so as to transform it into a “Man's Castle”...  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


The Wholly Book of Genesis by Jay Dubya

The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families ..  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.