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Jacob A J Taylor

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Member Since: Oct, 2011

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Forced Offer
by Gloria Gay

Society shuns Belinda Presleigh when her mother's scheme results in a forced marriage offer from the Earl of Berrington, the man she loves in secret. Three nights of pas..  
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This conversation is part of a group of humorous short stories that are meant to make the reader smile. Some are ironic in nature and perhaps a bit sarcastic, but definitely well intended and very apropos to our times.

 

 

From the Very Apropos Series

 

 

by Jake Taylor

 

 

English

 

 

 

Jack:                “Manny, lest I forget, the list that included the sin of lust was lost last night.”

 

Manny:             “What?”

 

Jack:                “What what?”

 

Manny:             “What’s with the ‘almost identical’ five words?”

 

Jack:                “Oh, I’m playing English.”

 

Manny:             “Playing English?”

 

Jack:                “Yeah.”

 

Manny:             “There’s no such thing as a game named English. You can’t play English.”

 

Jack:                “Yes there is, and yes I can.”

 

Manny:             “Who invented the game of English?”

 

Jack:                “I did.”

 

Manny:             “When?”

 

Jack:                “The other day, in the afternoon.”

 

Manny:             “Okay, how do you play English?”

 

Jack:                “There are several variations of the game.”

 

Manny:             “Fine, tell me a few.”

 

Jack:                “Well, in one you need to find words that are different by only one letter. For example: last, lest, list, lost, lust; however, you need to make a sentence that makes sense. The more sense the sentence makes, the more points you get.”

 

Manny:             “Can you give me another example?”

 

Jack:                “Of course: ‘The cat and the rat chased the fat bat around the mat’ or ‘The bat told the cat to eat the fat rat’ or ‘The rat sat and, while wearing a hat and eating a grain of oat, gave the cat a pat’ and this last sample has six words.’”

 

Manny:             “Jack, let me ask you something: Do you have a social life?”

 

Jack:                “I believe so.”

 

Manny:             “What do you do all day?”

 

Jack:                “I think of ways to play English.”

 

Manny:             “Jack, again, there is no such thing as a game of English.”

 

Jack:                “I’ve just shown you one variation of the game! What do you mean there is no such thing?”

 

Manny:             “Fine, I stand corrected. Show me another variation.”

 

Jack:                “In this variation the idea is to find words that are identical but have completely different meanings and pronunciations. For example: “Someone told Job to go to Nice to find a nice job.”

 

Manny:             “Are there more variations?”

 

Jack:                “Yes.”

 

Manny:             “Give me an example.”

 

Jack:                “In this variation you need to use the same identical word but with different meanings, for example: hot.”

 

Manny:             “Hot?”

 

Jack:                “Yes, for example: It was a hot day and the patrolman was looking at a very hot lady standing at the entrance of a building when he received a radio transmission telling him to be on the lookout for a hot car, which was last seen passing by the nuclear plant, near the forbidden ‘hot’ area.”

 

Manny:             “What?”

 

Jack:                “The first hot refers to ‘temperature.’ The second means ‘attractive,’ the third ‘stolen’ and the fourth ‘radioactive.’”

 

Manny:             “I know that Jack, so?”

 

Jack:                “Well, how come we know which is which?”

 

Manny:             “The context, Jack, the context.”

 

Jack:                “Changing topics, shouldn’t we go to see Paul?”

 

Manny:             “Oh my! You are right. But if we are going to go, I better turn right, right here; right?”

 

Jack:                “Right.”

 

Manny:             “What did I say?”

 

Jack:                “You’ve just started playing the game of English!”

 

 

 

© Jacob A. J. Taylor 2011

 

 

 

       Web Site: TT&T Publishers

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Reviewed by J Howard 11/11/2011
oh goodness...and pray tell what do you do all day?

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