Our son, Caleb Gage, died this morning at 5 a.m. There was nothing that could be done to save him.
Celeb was only five years old. He had serious health issues, among them brain damage, cerebral palsy, GERD, intestinal/stomach issues, was tube fed, blind and nonverbal, and had uncontrollable seizures.
We did everything possible to keep our boy alive as long as possible but it wasn't meant to be. He developed an overwhelming infection in his intestines and it went into his bloodstream. Sepsis, the doctors were calling it. He was in the hospital for a week before he took a turn for the worse and then died only five and a half hours ago.
We are in a state of mindnumbing shock and disbelief. We cannot believe that little Caleb is gone, but we have already said our goodbyes after the nurses cleaned him up and took off all the tubes and lines that were plugged into his little body. Now they have taken him to the morgue and we have to make funeral plans for our child.
Caleb was the youngest of three kids in our family. Now we have only two: seven-year-old Jaycee and nine-yaer-old Gavin. They are at school; they are going to be heartbroken when we break the news to them later that their little brother has died despite best efforts from the medical team here at Cook Children's Hospital.
It is going to be a very sad Thanksgiving, not to mention, Christmas. In fact, we probably won't celebrate because our minds will be focused on the loss of our baby boy.
I called Mamma (Gavin and Jaycee's MeMaw) and hopefully she will pick them up from school. I know the kids won't feel like studying or partaking in classes upon finding out that their little brother has passed away. All I want to do right now is get out of this damned hospital and get home, where I can embrace my other children and cry as I break the news to them.
Our family won't be the same without Caleb. Even in light of his many health problems, Caleb knew how to love and how to give love back to others. He always had a smile on his face and he enjoyed the simple things in life. When we were having a bad day, he could always be counted on to make us feel better by patting our cheeks or smiling, which was his way of telling us that things were going to be okay.
Caleb had the sweetest personality and he had curly, auburn-colored curls and big, sea-green eyes. He was chubby and had cute, adorable fat baby-fat legs and arms. There was nothing that made him happiest than when we held him in our arms or read him stories or sang songs to him. He was one of the biggest joys in our lives; now he is gone and there is nothing we can do to get out of this realization. It's as if we have walked into a living nightmare upon from which there is no escape.
Well, I just heard Mamma's van pull up, which can mean that she's brought Gavin and Jaycee home. Now is the time for the hardest job I have ever had to do as a parent: telling them their little brother died.
Pray for us and pray for strength and mercy as we face the funeral planning and the funeral itself and breaking the news to our two other children! We would greatly appreciate it!
~To be continued.~