Howdy! Shifty Osgood here.
Hope 2012 is a kinder, better year for me: Lord knows, the past ten have truly sucked: swindling my friend (and ending up on the streets because of it), unable to find a job until recently (had a job, but have since gotten canned; got blamed for another co-worker's monkeyshines and got into trouble for it; worked at Home Depot for only three weeks), my health going to pot, trying to find food for my belly ....
No, these past ten years have been anything BUT kind.
I just thank God that the weather has cooled: I'm no longer worrying about triple-digit heat. Just rain and cold, but lately, it's been mild, even for December. Just yesterday it was a balmy 74 degrees. It felt WONDERFUL on my achy-breaky joints!!
It has since cooled into the fifties (and sixties) with a stiff north wind, but compared to 100 degrees, it feels great!!
Last night, I saw the fireworks from where I was staying. They were beautiful! Sure wish I could have been part of the New Year's Eve festivities, but I probably would have been chased off: people usually don't take too kindly to us street folk. It's like whenever I go to the Central Library here in downtown Fort Worth: I'd go there to use the Internet or keep cool when it was so hot, but people didn't want me polluting their precious library.
They kept saying I stunk to high heaven. I'm sorry. I can't help it. I can't always find a bath whenever it is convenient, nor can I do laundry. You gotta have money to have clean clothes and there' s just no laundromat handy where I stay at (usually naar the Trinity River Bridge). I could do my clothes in the river, but somehow it just isn't the same. I can get 'em looking pretty presentable, but beatin' em with a rock is too rouch on my arthritis (plus I usually end up hitting myself more than the clothes; I'm not very co-ordinated ...).
I also drink. That's where a lot of my money has gone. I am trying to quit, but it ain't easy. I go through a day without booze, and I get the shakes and get really anxious. It's not pleasant. I hate being an alcoholic, but when it is so readily available, then it just kills any chances of me ever becoming sober.
At least I don't have a car, so I don't have to worry about killing someone or hurting them ... when I get drunk, I turn sad. I'm one of those drunks who cry when blotto'ed; I gotta hear some Hank, Sr. or Faron Young songs when I got the booze flowin' through my veins! Then I sit there and bawl my eyes out. It's really pathetic!
And then the next day ... OW!! My head!! (Today is one of those days. Found some friends, and they were whoopin' it up; they gave me some beer, and there you go. Felt no pain by the time I was through ... :) )
So it's a new year. Big whoop. Seems every year for the past ten years has been a carbon copy of the one prior for me, but at least this year is young: not even a day old yet; it is full of promise and hope for me. I pray to God that good things start happening; I have had more than enough of this street livin'!! I want to make something of myself and start things off right!
I will do so tomorrow once I recover from my hangaround .... I could go to church, but again, people would probably chase me off, so I guess I'll have my own private "God-time" here in the alley. Don't have to be in a church building to pray: God hears my prayers, no matter where I happen to be.
I just hope God forgives me for getting drunk last night ....
Christmas went pretty good; a local church fed some of us homeless folk, and we got a free meal: turkey and all the fixin's, as well as some gifts. I got a gift certificate for Shlotskys Deli, but what good is that gonna do? It's too danged far for me to walk!! I also got a new Bible and some non-perishable food, which I have been carryin' around with me (pushin' an old grocery cart; that's where I put my stuff). Now I gotta find me a can opener, so I can open the cans and nosh away!
I'm just sad it's over. Christmas always makes sad 'cause it always reminds me of the haves and the have-nots. I'm definitely one of the have-nots, and the haves keep shovin' it in our faces what they have and it only makes me want to drink. I get very depressed.
Well, I'm gonna find me a place to lay my head and sleep. My head is absolutely throbbing. I shouldn't have drunk so much beer like I did last night ... UGH! Take care and keep me in your prayers; pray that God provides for my needs: I have so many!! Thanks in advance and Happy New Year!!
~To be continued.~