"The New Year's Resolution which is most meaningful is one where one vows to get into a better relationship with one's self."
"The problem with my New Year's Resolutions is that by the next year I have forgotten what I vowed or have rationalized them away by then."
"The best new year is the one where you don't bring hostages to fortune into the new year with you."
"I always make New Years Eve resolutions: have a drawer full of them."
"New Year's Resolutions which enlist the aid of others have the best chance of succeeding."
"The test of American culture is that no one will tear up a dollar bill."
"In my youth I was very smart but growing older and making money dropped my IQ by 25 points."
"In French "mort" means death, in America we have put an "age" on the end."
"Each January I realize how many things I had put off till the end of the year and then the bills come in in January and I faint."
"The secret of a long-lasting relationship is where each person asks the question "Will this matter next new year's eve?"
"A bad relationship is one where one loves war and the other loves peace so new year's is often the only time of a truce."
"When you are twenty-something you have to decide which is worse, a bad relationship or being alone. By 35 you have made a decision usually on new year's eve."
"There should be "dumped" parties every new years eve where everyone tells their stories, and drink too much."
"Every citizen of every country believes & is taught to believe that they & their country is superior to every other country."
"Culture is the process of blinding the population to the good things about other cultures."
"There should be a refund policy for goods, services, governments, politicians and new year's resolutions."
"I said I wouldn't use the credit cards this year, but I say that every new year's eve."
"He said: "Every New Year's Eve I vow to get in shape-right after this Champagne."