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Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

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People Might Not Understand. ...: My Story. (Fibromyalgia) (Part One)
By Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Saturday, January 21, 2012

Rated "G" by the Author.

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A woman lives with a pain disorder that rules her very life.

Image of anvil crawler lightning (c) 2011, by Karla Dorman.

Uggghh!!  I would NOT wish this on my own worst enemy!!

The pain again.  ALWAYS the pain!!  Isn't there anything I can do to get some relief ... let alone, some SLEEP??

I haven't had a good night's sleep in I don't know HOW long.  Been weeks.  Months. YEARS! I don't know, but I will tell you THIS much: if I don't get any sleep soon, I might go mad!!!!

I have fibromyalgia.  Basically, it's like having arthrtiis of the muscles.  My shoulders.  My neck.  My hips.  My back.  My knees.  My wrists.  My elbows.  I hurt just about EVERYWHERE and cold or inclimate weather really play havoc on my muscles.  And that is in addition to having rheumatoid arthritis, which I have had since I was in my twenties.  (I'm now in my later fifties.)

My husband and kids oftentimes don't understand why I am so grouchy (or tired) a lot of the time.  A lot of people don't understand the fact that I am unable to work; instead, I get a small disability check every month.  That's all I live on.  I pay my bills and then I'm pretty near broke until the following month.  It's like this month after month!  Then people wonder why I am so frustrated or depressed ....

I would give anything to have one day without pain!  ONE.  DAY!!  I no longer know what it is like to live without it.  It seems that pain rules me and I HATE it!!  I haven't been to church in months and I just don't feel like praying or reading my Bible anymore because the pain makes it very difficult for me to concentrate.  I know God must be disappointed in me, but right now, I don't care.  I am disappointed in Him because He hasn't really done much to alleviate my suffering!

I don't like going out in public because whenever I park in a handicapped space, people call me lazy or threaten to report me to the police.  I'm sorry!  I can't help the fact that I can't walk without wanting to cry sometimes or that some days it is all I can do to keep from falling over!  So I just usually stay home and feel sorry for myself or play the stupid games on Facebook because I really have nothing better to do!!

And doctors say it is all in my head.  Well, isn't THAT just ducky!! How would THEY like to trade places with ME?? SEE what I am going through?  That my pain is as real as any pain that my RA causes me?  The pain from my fibro only aggravates the pain from my RA and at times I wish I could just kill myself because I can't take. It.  Any.  More!!

I just wish there were more doctors who treated me as a person with a problem, not a person who is mentally insane, or a person who has a problem that is NOT "a figment of my own imagination" and that I am just using my pain as an excuse to get help!!

~To be continued.~   


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Reviewed by Peter Egan 3/13/2012
You might want to check out the Vitamin D3 Blog. There is an article about vitamin D deficiency and its relationship to increased fibromyalgia pain.

If I recall correctly, the article is mainly focused on the increased likelihood for developing the condition faced by those whose blood-levels of 1,25-Dihydroxycholecalciferol (1,25-D3; aka: "vitamin D3"). However, I seem to recall there being a paragraph or two devoted to the topic of chronic pain, and if I'm not mistaken, there have been studies that have shown that those whose levels of D3 are insufficient are likely to endure more (and more intense) pain.
Reviewed by Paul Berube 1/21/2012
Well done, Karen.
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 1/21/2012
I know all too well what having Fibro is like. And it is a pain. :( Well done, Karen.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 1/21/2012
I can totally relate to this one, someone you press on despite the pain though
In Christs Love
Michelle!


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