THE GOLDEN DRAGON BOY
BY Albert Megraw
Jonty had been searching long and afar, seeking answers to his being. Great darkness within had caused thundering desires to know this man, this unit, this thinker of thoughts, this me. Frustration etched itself in lines on his face and sweat poured from his brow. Looking at these dark voids within had caused long periods of blankness and unconsciousness. Days would pass and at other times weeks would disappear, when viewing these terrains about himself, often awakening and finding himself drenched, lifeless, with raging hunger with a body frame lean and gaunt.
He knew he was not a person without a history, some past somewhere, a childhood place some cherished existence… just something… anything, he would think in despair. Much contemplation had bought up a known fact that everyone has some knowledge about themselves, but not me, why, where, how come? These were constant thoughts that never drew enlightenment. He never knew where his golden dragon came from. Why am I not afraid of It.? Why is it my obedient friend, he never harms me, and yet he knows when I think of him? His friend was massive in size. Golden in colour, with bronze scales, huge teeth, more like tusks in her monstrous head… eyes small but red as a summers setting sun. Wings so huge they reached beyond the white clouds that floated across blue skies in this beautiful land of the long white cloud.
Hurricanes and gales were created when she beat her wings, which carried her master on his quest. Anger her and great flames shot from her nostrils with such strength and more power than the exploding volcanos that dotted across this strange land. Jonty’s quest had sent him riding across galaxies; black of the blackest black, with no life, no stars that shone with moving life. No planets like the one he now walked on. Lush emerald green vegetation of all shapes and sizes reached for the pure sky. Trees that had been growing since time began; they reached into clouds as though protecting this land from evil invaders. Seas, they were deep and turbulent like screaming asteroids flaying across galaxies which he had seen so long ago, yet really was only yesterday, where time is no more…
Huge beasts moved in these seas and the gods sent their children to play and swim with them. Other seas were silty and white with no life and the land around about were golden sand with grey bushies seen only now and again, where skinny brown men talked to the wind and the land protected them as one. Jonty loved this land but longed for something long lost, yet unknown. It’s time to move along he thinks to himself. His golden dragon rears up and beats his wings causing dust storms to rage across the land for weeks. Nostrils blazing turning night into day, great crevasses are created from his huge claws pawing the earth in his anticipation to be on his way, to move his great limbs and feel the power surge through his being. Jonty sits in his saddle he made in some distant past. His bow and lance sit in their created space. He rarely feels hunger or thirst, only the great passion to know himself. Only his quest to know seems to feed and quench his thirst. He touches the little leather bag around his neck which hold the green and blue crystals like all the other things he know not why they are there, but feels the comfort knowing they are within his grasp He remembers the frenzy he felt when he took the leather string from his neck to swim and passed out from the jolt he got somehow… yes he still does not understand these things, he thinks. His attention is drawn back to the present as his mighty friend reaches for the sky and moves across the blueness so swiftly darkness is upon them in no time. He lets his friend do all the searching; he seems to have always been around and always knows where to go next. It’s like he is following a trail covered long ago in some distant past and to reach the end must follow and go to these places. I am content as I know no other way to reach the end of my quest. The journey is long and I have nothing to do. Nothing to see and I lay strapped on my friends back, covered with coarse heavy woven rugs. I sleep… I dream… The sun is shining on my body, shining down upon me, bathing me with it’s brilliance. I lay naked in the tall grass, gazing up at the blue sky, searching out the clouds. I feel at ease, at peace with the world and at peace with me. The wind brushes over my body, its breath tickling the fine hairs on my arms and stomach making them stand on end. Around me birds sing out their songs loudly with enthusiasm. A dragonfly hovers nearby and then takes off gliding over the tender blades, inspecting the newcomer in the field. I close my eyes and peer through the reddish-yellow colours on my eyelids. I am at one with the earth and sky, with fire and water.
I roll on my stomach and embrace the ground, resting my head on my folded arms. Small bugs pop and bounce atop me. I feel them make their way across my body, and I smile because they touch me. I am alone, yet not alone, for a time I feel loved, for a time I feel needed. It’s good not to be surrounded by people. I never feel lonelier than when I am surrounded by the masses. Sometimes I am even by myself with my friends, isolated, separated, hurting and longing for that which I cannot name. But today, I’m alive… today, I am where I belong, I feel safe here in this place. I feel in the womb, naked, naïve, new. Every experience is fresh, and every idea worth pondering, and every soul needing touching. Then I think, who am I that I think such things. I am not of pure heart, and my desires are selfish. I have done nothing to deserve the honour which has been bestowed upon me. I look through the grassy curtain across the horizon to the hills and mountains, and I wonder who had placed me here. Who has lifted me out of the mire and set me at the head of the banquet feast. The clouds sweep over the sky like a bubbling stream, and I feel myself get lost in them. As I watch, my eyes grow heavy and I struggle to keep them open. Until soon, I am sleeping, bare beneath the heavens exposed and venerable. I lay in nature’s arms sucking at the breast… I awake, not knowing where I am at the moment, or how long I have been here. I don’t sit up, yet I sense something near, beside me, I now feel an arm stretched across my chest, and I gaze towards my feet to let me eyes focus. You came to me whilst I slept, you came to me and nestled your head on my chest. And I gathered you up and pulled you tighter. You are sleeping still and I dare not move least you awake and stop this moment for me. One of your legs entwines mine, and I lightly kiss your forehead. I bring my hand up to your head and caress your hair. Your breath is heavily, when exhaling the air moves slowly over my chest causing goose bumps to jump out of my skin. You are an angle from the heavens, here on earth. Your arms unfold and encompass us, as we sleep together… When I awake once more you are gone, and I again am alone and scared. It’s your memory though which sustains me, for I know in my sleep you will return to me, put your arms around me, and if I’m lucky, I will catch a glimpse of you before you slip away out of my memory once again. Having known you I am filled with love and filled with hope. Jonty stirs and opens his eyes the memory is clear and bright and he smiles, for this is the first of his memories to come to him, and he is glad for what he has seen and felt… He caresses his friendly dragon. He feels this feeling…It’s new, his body feels like singing and he has warm spasms riding through his body causing him to laugh and jump to his feet, holding his sleeping rope in one hand he dances and raises his voice and shouts I have seeeeeeen a memory and I have a past. Tears run down his cheeks and his heart is heavy, even though moments ago he was singing and bubbling with life. He knows there are other memories he must face one day, he shudders and feels cold as though a death feeling passes over him. He pushes these thoughts aside he will over come anything that needs to be faced and once again feels a warm glow pulsing in his body. His dragon turns his head and looks at him. Jonty hears his thoughts in his head…Beware World Changer there is much to learn and great memories to be restored before we have the strength to face the future. Jonty realises that he can send his thought to his dragon and his friend can do the same. He is glad, he feels at ease with this knowledge, yet deep down inside himself he has always known that and smiles and is content. Oh, there is so much to know, and much to learn about his existence and all that is life. Again he is contented and lies down smiling, he may dream again and grins. He feels the words in his head and awakes, stering, opening his eyes he recoils from the sight awaiting his eyes…
A massive nova lays ahead, huge flashes of blue light burst and crackles, exploding and imploding around itself. Yellow bolts of lightening thunder across the black voids out from the spectacle. Huge suns, three in a line move around a massive planet. The sight takes Jonty’s breath away and he sits down and gazes at this spectacular sight , words loose him, he drops to his knees, he cannot take his eyes from what he sees and smiles. ‘Hay…’ Jonty falls into his seat as the dragon rears up and screams out. Mighty flames shoot out from his nostrils, his eyes flam red glowing brightly. Her mighty talons shoot out in front of herself to protect her master. She knows Jonty has reached the place…the forbidden place. Thoughts not his own fill the air around him driven into him like sharp daggers and eerie cries are strong and piercing in his head. His dragon knows she must move away until her master is powerful enough to meet these engulfing, crushing, deadening thoughts. She turns and is gone like a flash of lightening, poor Jonty is held in the grip of her talons like a petal floating on a summers wind. He felt it…The feeling of revulsion and hate were strongly driven into him. He must know more about himself so he can meet whatever challenges face him. His mighty friend moves across the empty black space still holding his friend in her mighty talons. Jonty’s thoughts go out to his friend… ‘Where were those thoughts and cries coming from, they caused me much concern, and yet, I feel at peace at the same time. Please tell me my friend, you know so much, but impart so little.’ Is it my quest to find my life’s answers with no help or guiding hand?
Out of the blackness far ahead a golden light twinkles and Jonty starts to feel a warm glowing feeling inside.
‘What is this I feel, why do I feel this way. Dragon, why do you bring me to this golden star ahead?’
‘Master we have come to search for the answers of our oneness. Jonty doesn’t understand what he is hearing; he has no concept of understanding of the words being said in his head.
‘We must open the dark locked door of your memory within and let what is in come out.’ States the Dragon.
‘Oh my mighty friend your words are poetry whispered to the deaf and shouted to the hearing. In your words I hear music, and in my heart I feel its cadence reverberate with power. You have become for me a super nova against the dense blackness of the endless voids. I am drawn to your understanding light of life, to your warmth, and to the awesomeness that is, you. I was lying stunned by the sheer weight of being, when you saw me and picked me up. Our hearts rejoiced together, as two brothers meet upon a separation, and echoed through the heavens and across time infinitely. The two are one, to soar with the same spirit, soaring hand in hand with a super-sonic blast that proclaims our union. I were borne incomplete, unfinished, and longing to be complete. I have sought those missing pieces, only finding few. Then you spoke with words like razors that cut through flesh and bone, through coldness, and darkness and you created beauty where there was a void and completed me all the more.’
The lost souls unite and with their joining they shone brighter than the stars in the heavens, Jonty’s mind was becoming clear with every thought that he created. Every thought sent to his friend became clear in his universe and helped other ideas to be in themselves created and helped form more ideas and greater peace for himself.
‘I see much my friend and in the seeing I grow strong with myself and within myself I see no boundaries and unlimited knowingness is there to view.’
He hears words in his head not from his friend the dragon. ‘Who is this? Who are you? The words continue… ‘I shall wait for you on the summit. I will meet you in the air, and we shall fly together through the valley. I will take your hand and follow you where ever you lead me. You see the
future many things unseen by the mortal man. It is with this knowledge that I know you understand the depths of affection I feel for you. You must know how dear you have become to me, and how my heart longs for you with the fever and sacrifice of crusades. My bright eyed sage, my dearest confident, if I could part the seas I would, so that I may come to you. If I could soar as the eagle, I would fly to you. If I could swim as the dolphin, I would surf the waves of the seas to be with you. If you were standing on a precipice, I would scale the tallest mountain to reach you. My thought race to you, and it’s here in my mind that I find you, constant as the sun, true r than the stars, for they can be hidden by dark tempest clouds. Yet nothing can obscure my thoughts of you. When I awake, my thoughts rush to you, in my happiness and sadness, you are with me. My body has given up food, for its only requirement is you. With every breath I prey for your safety. With every muscle, I prepare for you. I wait, as for a soldier returning from the battlefield, full of hope, anxiety, anticipation, and fear. In such a short span, you have changed me. You have touched me as no other has. You have inspired me, challenged me, and loved me fearlessly, courageously. I will never be the same…’
Jonty’s heart was racing, loin throbbing, never felt before were emotions exciting and so desirous he felt he had been through this many times before and his body was demanding emotions that made him dizzy, mouth dry, a wetness felt in his loin cloth, heat radiated from him as though he had just fought a great battle and won.
‘Is it me creating this feeling with another? How can this be? Jonty asks of his friend the dragon.
A glow permeated through him and a smile spread over his face, as memories were creeping into his consciousness. He had created a oneness with this other force that seemed to be there and had always been there, yet unseen and unfelt for such endless eons.
‘My master we have arrived’ the spoken words jolted Jonty back to the reality of the present. He smiled; he felt the presence within still there and felt calmer, knowing more enlightenment was close at hand. Jonty’s attention was jolted to the sight that lay before him. The shear beauty sliced through him to the bone
‘Wow, Oh is this real?’
‘Is it, tell please, say it’s real Dragon.
‘This cannot be a memory, I feel. I can touch. I know it’s now and not yesterday. Oh, how I have longed to return…’
‘What am I saying, Dragon have I been here before?’ Frustration at not knowing etched lines into his young face, as like burrows in a newly ploughed field.
‘You must break the chains of silence and tell me so that I may live again.’ Jonty pleads with his friend.
‘Master, your life is yours to live as you wish, or not wish to live.
‘To see or not to see.’
‘To feel or not to feel.’
‘To know or to allow confusions to settle over what you know to be the truth, and thus be unsure of yourself.’
‘To not know what you can know.’
‘To fear or not fear your knowingness. These are your quests, you have to conquer lies and bring forth enlightenment to yourself to restore the truth that is you.’ ‘When you know yourself, no man, beast, devil or God can harm you or set you onto false paths that will lead you to degradation and entrapment of yourself. That which you can confront Jonty, you cannot be harmed by. That which is hidden and has a hold over you, if you view it as it existed its power and hold over you will diminish, and will restore that held self to you.’
‘You see how you can grow my friend there is no limits to your future, only those that you place there in yourself.’
‘I begin to see and understand my loyal friend. I have much to do and much to view and oh such terrors to confront, and then I shall be whole again and I shall shout with joy through endless universes, through endless time that marches on forever. I shall be heard and I shall be free and I will not look back and I will know that I know and I shall be at peace with myself. I now know that what I cannot see and know about myself is my own created trap for myself and so hides my memories and makes me blank when I look at my past. I see that I had so much blankness there that I became the blankness and unawareness and so ceased to remember and know myself and my past. Oh, how great this trap to self for self had become. I have the tools to rid myself of these times and undesired moments. I know that I know, so that is the first step and I can see and yes I can say I was wrong and that deed that transgression against my fellow there, and over there, was wrong. I can now right this and go forth with clean hands and a brighter shine in my eyes. I have a clean heart and an appetite to know and rid myself of unknowns. Oh, how simple this is and how complex we have been told we are. We are told we live but once and yet we know this is not so and dare not say we know for ridicule and attacks on us. We are feed such lies and deceit we know not what is truth or lies anymore and so hide ourselves in unknown moments which suck our power and goodness until we know no more of ourselves. I see the way. I will tread the path’ there is no better goal to have than ride oneself of unconsciousness and restore the truth of me to me. Oh, I rejoice my friend, we have much to do and here is a perfect place to grow and know myself. Jonty had seen much today and exhaustion came and engulfed him. He lies down on the emerald green lush grass so deep in colour one could loose themselves in their depth. He heard the water running over the stones in the brook beside him creating a hundred sounds that mingle into the background of bird calls and the humming of flying creatures. He viewed his memories, oh, they were so clear and free of any entrapment and he was content. Again he heard the voice…’Your thoughts are poetry whispered to the deaf and sung to the hearing, scattered to those who listen across the universe and those who hide in themselves for fear of themselves. Great shining blackness where nothing existed and nothing breathed but the dead and lost souls cried for their past selves, did they feel a shaking of their universe and an opening in their consciousness…Stars burst across the galaxies bringing forth light and hope to all who wish to know themselves and face the way they are. I hear you my kindred spirit we have been lost from each other for too long, we grow more and more aware of each other day by day. Soon we will burst from the blackness and shine and know each other like we know today and now. Jonty has a feeling of contentment, he is learning, there are no limits, yes limits only exist should I consider they exist and he smiles and sleeps the sleep of contemptuousness and at peace within himself.