I didn’t want to mix Hope up in this, but I knew holding her back would be useless. Hope was determined to do what she could, and I admired her for that. She did everything she could to achieve in life, and help others achieve including me, but there were so many things she didn’t know, and so many things I was glad she did not know. I wish no one knew some of the things I had faced. I wished no one ever had to endure them, but I know many did, even worse, but that was hard to imagine. I didn’t even want to think about it.
Lord shield my sister from the kind of darkness I went through, before I became part of this family. Lord keep her safe.
I wanted to protect my big sister, because in so many ways I felt so much older than she did. She hadn’t endured the Hell I had, and I was so grateful for that. No child should have to endure the things I endured. No one deserved to be treated like that, adult or child, and now I feared their death had been a set up.
Lord let it only be my imagination.
But I wasn’t imagining Feresheteh, Aunt Delbar and Uncle Azar had been here, and I wasn’t imagining their disappearance.
“Mom did they say anything to you about leaving?” I asked.
“No Star, they didn’t say anything. I hope we didn’t offend them in some way.”
“I know you didn’t, but I thought they would at least say goodbye. They came here to get away from persecution so they said, but where would they go?”
“I don’t know Star, but something is bothering you, what is it?”
“I don’t think they are who they say they are.”
“Feresheteh looks like you, there is no denying that.”
“Mom that’s not what I meant. I can’t explain it now, but please be careful.”
“Star you are starting to worry me.”
“I’m sorry Mom, but if I am right about this, we have plenty of reason to worry.”
I wanted to comfort my Mom tell her everything was going to be okay, but I could not. She would read through me, she had a uncanny way of knowing when I wasn’t telling the truth even when I looked at her dead on. My Mom valued the truth and taught me to do the same, and here we were all twisted up in lies now.
Lord let me be wrong about this! Please let me be wrong about this.
“Star what’s wrong? Your Mom said she’s worried about you.” Dad came in, placing a gentle, yet strong hand on my shoulder. I no longer flinched when he did this, when I first came to this family I would not let him anywhere near me.
“I don’t think they are who they said they are. I think I may have put you guys in danger.”
“Star what are you talking about?”
“Aunt Delbar and Uncle Azar, I don’t think they are who they said they are. I think my birth Father sent them here.”
“Star your birth parents died, seven years ago.”
“What if that’s what they want us to think?” I said.
I wondered if they thought I was losing it, that I was finally snapping.
It wasn’t that though, and by the look on everyone’s faith I could tell they believed me.
Lord God protect us, keep us safe.
“Maybe I need to close down the blog, and lay low for a while.”
“Star I don’t think that’s the answer.”
“I feel like I am putting you guys in more danger. I don’t want to do that.”
“Star if you are right about this, we are going to do everything we can to protect you. You are an adult now, they can’t make you go back.”
“I’m not worried about that. I am worried about him killing us, all of us.”
I knew my Father, my birth Father had the power to kill I had seen him kill before.
He had made me watch, saying that if I ever disobeyed him, if I ever told any of my secrets he would be sure he killed me and made my family watched.
I was six the first time I saw him murder. A little girl, sitting in the corner of the dark and dusty room, knees hugged to my chest. I was six, but I looked much younger, small tiny for my age.
He had murdered a girl not much older than I was.
Girls were dispensable, they didn’t matter. Not in his world.
Blood, so much blood, how could so much blood spill from a body not much bigger than mine.
Cries until they were silenced, until she had no reason to cry anymore.
You ever tell, that will be you.
I knew he was not bluffing. He would kill me if he thought I was disobeying him.
Death would be better than this.
He kept me alive to torture m.
I knew that.
“Star it’s going to be okay.”
I wanted to believe my Dad’s words, the Father who loved me. I was glad I was back in the present, surrounded by my family so frightened.
The monsters were back!
Monsters I thought were long gone!