I sat at my desk, my sister beside me reading my messages. A few threats had come in again, but this time we were not as frightened. I was frightened of course, because I have seen what this man was capable of, but not so much now that it paralyzed me. I knew now that God had greater power than this man, than this monster.
“I didn’t think he would give up that easily.” I admitted to Hope. “But I am not as scared as I was. I am not going to lie and say I feel no fear, because I do, but I have comfort in knowing God is with us.”
“Amen to that Star. We can’t let this monster, stop us from living our lives.”
“I know Hope, because if that happens, he wins. The evil wins, and I know the good Lord does not want that to happen.”
“No he doesn’t.”
I had come a long way since becoming a Baxter. My family carried me far, and I knew that. I would not have gotten this far without them. They had both literally and figuratively saved my life. I shuttered to think what I would have done to myself had they not come into my life. I hated to think of the darkness I would have lived in had I not come to the Baxter’s but the good Lord had saw fit to send me to them. I knew he had a reason for that, though at the time when I first came to them I was angry at the world, I am sure I knew even then I was being given a second chance. I needed that chance, I needed to know that I was not the piece of garbage that the monster wanted me to believe I was.
God didn’t make garbage. I didn’t know that then, but I knew that now. I was not garbage, God did not make garbage, and God created me. He was not this big monster that I was made to believe he was when I was a little girl, but through the Baxter’s I got to know the loving Father he really was, the loving Father that sent his only son to die for us. God did not want to see his children hurt, he did not condone it, as the monster had me to believe for all those years. God wanted more for his children, he wanted loved and hope for his children.
“Hope do you feel I have come a long way since I came to you guys?”
“Of course I do Star, what makes you ask that?”
“I don’t know I was just thinking. I know I am doing good things, but I want to do more, I want to do more to stop him.”
“Star you are doing everything you can, but we are going to have to leave the police work up to the police.”
“I know Star, but am I doing enough to show that this kind of evil isn’t okay? I need to do something more than this blog.”
I knew I had mentioned it before, but I was really being pulled in that direction now more than ever. I knew that there were other children like me who were being hurt and it had to stop.
Why do people think such violence is okay Lord? Why do they feel it is justifiable to hurt an innocent child. Why don’t they know you frown on this kind of behavior Lord, or why don’t they care?
“Star you know I am with you through all of this, I told you I would be.”
“I know Hope, I appreciate that. I can’t put into words how grateful I am for all you do and have done for me.”
“You are doing what I feel the Lord is calling you to do, who am I to question that?”
“Thank you for understanding that Hope. I could not do any of this without your support.”
“Star with the Lord you could do anything, you know that.”
“I know, but he uses the people in our lives to help us as well, and he blessed me with a wonderful sister. You have never let me believe I was anything left, even after the amputation you expected the same out of me as before.”
“We all knew babying you was not the answer, but we also knew we had to show you the love you had not seen. We knew we would have to reach to you in a different way.”
“I am glad you guys reached out to me. I am glad you are my family now. Before I came to you I had no idea that real families were these loving people who didn’t hurt you, all I knew was violence and pain.”
“Star that part of your life is over.”
“I know it is, and I am thankful for that.”
“I know you are Star.”
I died on the cross for you Star, while you were still a sinner.
I had heard the Lord speak those words to my heart for the first time when I gave my heart to Jesus. It took me awhile to absorb them, to understand what they meant, but now I understood. It had been five years since I had given my heart to Jesus, five years since I had lost my leg. If it had taken losing my leg to make me see God, then I believed it was worth it. I would be given a new body in Heaven, but I would only be given one soul, and I did not want to think about what would have happened if I had not given my heart to Jesus. I did not want to think about the darkness because I had the light, and the light was beautiful.
“You are doing a good thing here Star. I know you still have your fears, especially knowing now he is still alive, but you are overcoming your fears that says a lot about your character.”
“Thank you Hope, that means a lot to me coming from you. Because I believe you have a wonderful character.”
“Any good thing I have comes from the Lord.”
“Amen to that Hope.”
I was grateful for my families faith, because it had allowed me to get this far. If they had not showed me the light I would have still been living in the darkness. I was sure of that, and I was glad that I no longer lived in the darkness, because I knew the light. The light was beautiful.
Thank you Jesus for letting me see the light, thank you that I don’t have to spend my life living in darkness.
I was glad that I knew the Lord, that I had given my heart to Jesus, because it had carried me so far. I knew that I had the promise of everlasting life, and no matter what he tried my birth Father could not take that from me. He did not deserve to be called my birth Father but sadly that is exactly what he was, he was my birth Father. No matter how much I wanted it not to be true , the fact was this monster was my birth Father, but that did not mean I was anything like him. I knew that now, my destiny was greater than that, because I had turned to the Lord, and I was more than grateful for that.
Jesus I am so glad I have seen the light, and the light is you. I appreciate all the blessings you have given me and I know that you love me unconditionally. I know you don’t judge me for what happened to me in the past, though I have to admit sometimes I judge myself.
“Star I am glad you are leaning on the Lord.”
“So am I Hope, believe me so am I.”
“Star your Mom and I are going to have to go out of town on business, do you think you and Hope will be okay?”
“Yeah I do Dad, but please be careful. I don’t know what he will try. I don’t know if he knows who you are but by now I am almost certain he does.”
“Star we are going to be careful don’t worry about that, and if you need anything we will have our phones with us. We fly out tomorrow morning.”
“Would you like Hope and I to drive you so you don’t have to pay for airport parking.”
“That would be great sweetie, and Star we are proud of you.”
“Thank you Dad.”
I was blessed that everyone saw the good in what I was doing and commended me for it. I knew I could not have done it without the Lord, and the support of my family. I owed a world of thanks to them, because they had taken a broken young girl and made her whole again. I saw myself now not as someone who was damaged goods, but someone who had walked through hell and come out on the other side.
I told Hope of our parents going out of town, and we both made plans to take them to the airport the next day. She would let me drive, because she knew I liked being behind the wheel and she didn’t mind sitting in the passenger seat, just soaking in everything. Often she would carry her notebook or her notebook computer with her, in case she got inspired.
Hope often got inspired. It was made her such a good writer, it allowed her to work at home as a freelancer and I was grateful for that, because she could stay with me. I would not want to have to face these fears with my sister living half way across the country.
Lord thank you that Hope has a profession that satisfies her and allows her to be at home when we need her. Maybe I am being selfish Lord, but I don’t think I could do this without her Lord. I don’t think I could do any of this without her. I need all my family.
“Are you worried about Mom and Dad going?” Hope asked. She had always been able to read my moods well.
“Honestly I am a little, but I am keeping faith in the Lord.”
“We will be okay Star, and so will they.”
“I’m trying to believe that Hope I really am. I am doing better than I was before, but I still have my moments of doubt.”
“I know Star, and that’s okay, just please don’t lose faith all together.”
“I’m really trying not to Hope, believe me. I am not going to let him win like that.”
“Thank you for agreeing to stay with me while Mom and Dad are away. I don’t like the idea of staying in this big house alone with all the threats and everything. Do I sound childish or selfish?”
“No Star, I feel the same way. That’s why I am glad I have a job that allows me to work wherever I am at, one I can work my own hours.”
“How’s the article coming?”
“It’s coming slowly, but it’s coming.”
“I know you Hope, you will do a wonderful job with this article. You always do.”
“Thank you Star, I wish all editors were as gracious as you are.”
“Well I am sure they see your talent, I mean they keep asking you for articles, stories.”
“I know, and I am grateful for that. The Lord has blessed me with this gift, and I want to use it for him.”
Like Hope I aimed to be a writer someday. I was studying both Creative Writing and Journalism in school when it started back up in the fall, but right now I just wanted to make sure that we made it through the summer without the monster coming after us.
“Star you are a good writer too, don’t sell yourself short. You have showed me some of what you have written.”
“Thanks Hope, that means a lot coming from you.”
I grabbed my Bible from my desk, got comfortable on the sofa and began reading from the book of 1 Thessalonians
1 Thessalonians 5
The Day of the Lord
1 Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, 2 for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. 3 While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.
4 But you, brothers and sisters, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief. 5 You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. 6 So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. 7 For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. 8 But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. 9 For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. 10 He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. 11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
12 Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. 13 Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. 14 And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not treat prophecies with contempt 21 but test them all; hold on to what is good, 22 reject every kind of evil.
23 May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.
25 Brothers and sisters, pray for us. 26 Greet all God’s people with a holy kiss. 27 I charge you before the Lord to have this letter read to all the brothers and sisters.
28 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.
“I guess it’s just going to be you and I here for a week or so.” Hope said after I closed my Bible and gently placed it on the coffee table.
“Yes I just hope everything will be okay.”
“I think it will be Star.”
“I want to believe that.”
“Star have faith.”
“I am trying Hope, believe me I am trying.”
“I know you are.”