Lines of perspiration dotted Sienna’s forehead. Physical therapy was grueling, but it was worth it. Giving up was not an option for Sienna. She may not be able to walk, by the Grace of God she had survived and she knew there was something greater planned for her.
Sienna was surrounded by people some so much worse off than her in this room. A girl not much older than her, had a trach, and was trying to use what little hand movement she had to control the joy stick on her electric wheelchair.
She looked down at her own hands, free moving, she could move the upper part of her body without struggle. Some things took longer but she could do them. Seeing people like this girl made Sienna even more grateful.
I could be the one in that situation Lord. I could be the one struggling to do the simplest things, but you blessed me you did not let me let this happen.
As Sienna worked on transferring herself from her chair, to a seat next to her, a practice her physical therapist had her do, she thanked the Lord that she finally had mastered it without the use of a transfer board. She was grateful for each small victory, and she discovered life was much better when you lived a life of gratitude.
I feel like a monkey, swinging from one place to another, good thing I think monkeys are cute!
She couldn’t help but smile at her own thought. Sienna was getting good at making good come out of a situation that seemed impossible. She was determined, determined not to be defined by what had happened to her.
Sienna had come a long way in the nearly eight months since she was shot. Shot!! Even now she had trouble absorbing what had happened, but she lived with it. Every day she woke up and pulled her floral sheets away from her lifeless legs, and used only her upper body to get from place to place, she lived with it.
I am not going to be defined by this. My life is more than wheelchairs, catheters, and physical therapy. I have so much more to do, so much more life to live. I have dreams, dreams that did not die with the accident. I want to dance, but more than that I want to help people. I dreamed of being a missionary after I graduated, I have to find a way to make that dream come true .
“Sienna are you ready?” Kelsea asked, breaking her sister from her thoughts. Kelsea had been sitting quietly watching her sister, ear buds to her ipod in her ears, as she listened to a Keith Urban track. Her thoughts were on Sienna though, Sienna who was so strong.
“Yes. I am glad Mom let you drive me here. She tends to be a little overprotective.” Sienna said, thanking her sister for taking the time to help her out.
“I know she is, she is just worried about you. She was so afraid we had lost you when we got that call, the truth was we all were.”
“God wasn’t ready for me to go yet, and the truth is I wasn’t ready to go yet. I know God has something planned for me.”
“Sienna sometimes I wish my faith was as strong as yours.”
“Kelsea having faith is not some kind of contest to see whose faith is stronger, it’s a matter of knowing when to lean on him and knowing you are weak without him.”
“Amen Sister, I think you should become a preacher.”
“I want to be a missionary.”
“Is that even possible?”
“Kels it’s not about using my legs it’s about using my heart, no matter where I go, barring a miracle I will be in this chair, but it does not mean I am going to sit around feeling sorry for myself. God wants me to do something with my life, not sit around in a constant state of self-pity.”
“Sienna I believe you will do it, you don’t have to convince me, it’s the others you have to convince.”
“I know but if God wants it to happen it will, no matter what obstacles the world tries to put in my way.”
Kelsea grabbed the handles of her sisters chair, not because she needed help but because she felt close to Sienna in that moment. Amazed at her sisters strength. Her sister was not only beautiful on the outside with her long, blondish brown hair, and Ivory tinted skin, but on the inside too, with the faith that would not be shaken.
Lord I wish I were more like Sienna, I wish I had the faith she had. I believe Lord, and I pray, but if I were going through what Sienna had been through I could not be as strong. I could not be as determined. Thank you for giving Sienna the strength though, and for giving me a second chance with my sister. For months I have blamed myself for her being shot, if I had been there, I may have been the one to take the bullet, but Lord you don’t want me to blame myself and I don’t want to blame myself either. I know Sienna doesn’t blame me either, so I am trying to move beyond that place.
“Sienna you’re amazing.” Kelsea said, as she folded Sienna’s chair and placed it into the back of their Mom’s Toyota Camry.
“Kels I don’t belong on a pedestal, I am a mere human and I have my moments, but I know the importance of leaning on the Lord. Anything good that I am, any strength I have is a gift from the Lord, any weakness is my own.”
“I’m not trying to put you on a Pedestal, just feeling really grateful right now to have you for a sister. It had been so hard when we first got that call, I did not know if I would be burying my sister. I was not ready for that. I don’t suppose anyone ever is.”
“I don’t think they are either Kels. But I know that God has something better planned for me and I am thankful for a second chance at life. I know I appreciate more now, I know I can’t take things for granted now, because I know how quickly they can be gone, but I am alive, and I have a good life.”