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Odin Roark

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· The Weigh-In

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· Fear and Aging

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Just a Little More... (rewrite)
By Odin Roark
Posted: Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Last edited: Wednesday, April 25, 2012
This short story is rated "PG" by the Author.

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Recent stories by Odin Roark
· Bubble Choices
· Like No Other
· Surreal Dummy--Still Here
· IT
· Faux Companion
· Take Me, I'm Free (Flash Fiction)
· Beer Neck Flower
           >> View all 48
You have to wonder about moments you may never know.

Just A Little More... (rewrite)

It might rain tomorrow.  Rain comes in three sizes, you know.  Drizzle, shower, and storm.  Somewhere in there time hangs suspended.  That's how I see it.  How I love it.

Then there's "what to do," depending on the size.  Drizzle tends to bring out the quiet in me.  So, I write.  Showers usually ask I take a few deep breaths, smell the freshened earth, give some thanks.  You know.  Kinda just sit there and be.

Now storms... they're something else.  Troubling sometimes.  They can get feisty and not know when to stop.  Kinda like arguments that just keep getting louder.  You know what I'm talking about.  

Looking out my window, I can see the horizon darkening.  What is it they say: anticipation is greater than reality?  Works for me.  Don't need any more reality.  These tubes hooked up to me do just fine in that department.  Stupid facts.  You know what I mean.

Damn.  That's getting dark out there.

Son of a... Catheters have got to be the most miserable piece of medical crap around, you know?  But, at least it takes care of things... for a while.  Speaking of which,  about time to change the collection bag, isn't it?

Damn.  Was that lightning?  Lit up my whole...

Oh no... Clock on the wall...  4:31.  Move second hand, move godamnit!

That sound.  That tone just hangin' there...

Oh my.  That flat-line monotone...


Just a little more drizzle.

Just a couple of showers.

Just a little more time.



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Reviewed by Diana Legun (Reader) 5/31/2012
What a choking read, Odin. You captured panic in a few vivid notes. Such a real voice that matches the voice in people's throats so well it feels like it is happening to us in this short space. I am just back from Washington DC and there is so much wonderful reading here that went on without me. I am happy for that 'keeping going,' and you are one of my very favorites. ~~ Diana
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton 4/25/2012
This just snuck up on me. You know what I mean?

I mean, there you were, explaining drizzle, shower, storm. You know what I mean?

Getting personal about the difference of them, you know, quiet, giving thanks, troublesome.

Then come the monitors, the catheters and, oops! Flatline. You know what I mean?

Interesting. Almost riveting. Story for the dark in each of us.

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