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Lonnie Hicks

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Fractured Idioms -Friday 4/27/12 (G Version)
By Lonnie Hicks
Posted: Friday, April 27, 2012
Last edited: Monday, August 13, 2012
This short story is rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent stories by Lonnie Hicks
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· Fire Flies Blink
· Music I Love-Updated 8/5/15
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           >> View all 439
Thankfully we have come to the "Z's." You have been very patient

Weak at the knees
Knees are considered weak when they do not want to support themselves or get a job

Walking on air
This feat can be done but only temporarily while falling

Warm and fuzzy
A feeling one gets when one fails to make it to the bathroom in time

Warm the cockles of your heart
Romantic self-delusion based on the false belief that hearts have cockles.

Waste not, want not
A meaningless phrase especially to the poor who have nothing to waste in the first place

Water over the dam
What people heard just before the big flood

Watering hole
A popular name for underwater bars

Watery grave
What you get if you spend too much time at the watering hole

Way to go
The above is also considered a bad….

Wear many hats
This is said of people with more than one head

Wear your heart on your sleeve
A gruesome thing teens do when the think they are in love

Weasel words
When weasels speak

Wedge politics
Why politics is regarded as “Cheesy”

Wee buns
What ants use for their hot-dogs at the family picnic

A salon treatment often performed in bed rooms

Yank my chain
A complaint many toilets have of rough treatment

Yen for something
Type of payment demanded in China

These are found in great numbers in board rooms

You are what you eat
So my advice is not to eat kumquats

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar
But if your goal is to kill flies use the vinegar

You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family
This states that for many family members are not also friends

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink
True, horses generally do avoid alcohol

You can say that again
When certain speakers hear voices in their head

You can't have cake and eat it too
Not true . Had some cake for lunch and ate it  right in front of everybody

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear
And the sows are much relieved

You can't take it with you
Not true . Write yourself a big check and have someone bury it with you.

You can't unring a bell
Not true . An unrung bell is silent

You could have knocked me down with a feather
An Olsen twin commenting upon her own weight

You're toast
A cannibal saying

You've made your bed- you'll have to lie in it
Refers to the many prevarications told while lying in bed

Young blood
Vampire cravings

Young Turk
Vampire craving for Turkish youth

Your belly button is bigger than your stomach
What happens sometimes to a very pregnant woman

Your call
This is often preceded by “I waited three days for…”

Zero tolerance
Refers to long period of time before the number zero was accepted in the west

Zigged before you zagged
Snobbish comment among those men who roll their own cigarettes

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Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 4/27/2012
An amusing Friday treat. Note that if you are in the secret service you might get what you don't pay for. Patrick

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