Tina Hodges here. Was hoping that things would improve in time, but no go. Thiings, if anything, remain the same or have (in some instances) gotten worse. Here goes nothing ...
Still not working. Was on unemployment, but it's about to run out so pretty soon I am going to have to start looking for ways to borrow (or get) money to pay bills or feed myself and my son, who has significant special needs. It has been nice to be able to pay the bills or get food, but then Dalton gets sick again, and that only means more expense, as do the continued therapy/doctor appointments (and his occasional stays in the hospital), which only adds to the fun (NOT!).
Dalton remains about the same: still biting himself, hitting himself, and taking up precious time. I hardly have any time for myself, let alone, go to the bathroom; Dalton's many demands are too great and I am still arguing with doctors about what is going on with him and why. Most of the docs I deal with have never heard of his illness (cardiofaciocutaneous syndrome, or CFS), so they don't really know how to help him or deal with his many issues. It's extremely frustrating to explain to them why a six-year-old doesn't speak, walk, or is still in diapers, or why he continually bites or hits himself.
I wish I could do more to help Dalton, but I can't. One person can only do so much; I am not two people. I wish I had my husband's support, but he's thinking of leaving me. Yes, you read correctly: hubs is thinking of leaving me. He can no longer deal with my unemployment or the needs of our son; he is no longer happy and has taken up drinking. When he gets drunk he gets mean, very mean, and I'm terrified that he's going to hurt me or Dalton (or worse).
If it were not for my faith in God or my church activities, I would have ended up in a mental institution long ago, and even that's starting to waver. I'm finding it harder and harder to trust in Him because I don't see Him working in my life and I'm wondering if he even cares about me or what I am facing every day! I'm ready to tell God to go play with himself, I'm so angry, but I know I must hold on, even if only for a minute longer. I just don't know how much longer I can do this: I'm ready to fall into the river and drown!
Just keep me (and Dalton) in your prayers; we both could use a major miracle! Thank you in advance!
~To be continued.~