I don't know why I thought that having sex would make me a woman or at least happier.  All it did was lead to trouble that I cannot reverse.

I am only seventeen, but I am pregnant with a baby.  First one.  I am five months pregnant.

My parents are furious with me.  They think that I am a "bad girl" and won't even talk to me.  They have all but thrown me out and that is getting to be more and more of a possibility.  I hardly talk to them and feel terrible for having disobeyed them.

I think they would be thrilled with the idea that I am carrying their first grandchild, but they won't have anything to do with the baby.  I think the only reason they are letting me stay is because it is so hot outside and they don't want me living on the streets when it is so blue blazing hot !

I find out the sex of the baby on Wednesday (tomorrow).  I hope it is a little girl.  I also have to notify my boyfriend, who is the one who got me knocked up (as he calls it).  After all, he is the one who did this to me; he is the baby's father.

He will probably want a boy.  I want a girl.  

I don't know how we are going to parent a child: everything is so expensive now as it is; a child is only going to add to it.  We wil also be faced with adult-sized responsibilities that we haven't been faced with before.  Life is suddenly scary!  Very scary!

~To be continued~