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Idioms for the Idiomatic
When chickens swear
a meeting of minds
That which never happens in a corporate board room, more like a meeting of parrots
cut and paste
Without which there would be thousands fewer writers, including me-for sure
toss back and forth
Kitchens in most of the homes in the morning where school age children are involved
A successful tactic used by every teenager and two year old in the world
Wall street 2008
be on cloud nine
The false notion that drugs are dispensed in heaven on cloud nine.
be light years away from
Typo-actually should be "light beers away from" and then you have a description of astronomy for alcoholics
a pig in a poke
Wrong. Pokes do not produce pigs, bacon, yes, pigs no.
Anything really disgusting can be passed of as "taste-like," usually followed by “chicken”
be rolling in it
Refers to either money or cow chips
can kiss goodbye
When lovers break up one of them often extend this invitation while pointing to mistletoe pinned to their coattail.
The peculiar notion that women look their best dead
Part of the comedy duo, “Straight and Gay” which confuses people
whistling in the dark
A nonchalant attitude one lover makes when their love says they are too tired. Rhymes with “I didn’t want to anyway”
Some people fling things. I know-shocking. Happens most when hubby shows up at 3am
Gripping lovemaking technique among the cuddly bears
I'm not made of money!
Teenagers believe this to be a false statement
a white elephant
And a black elephant commiserating about how it is a jungle out there.
play for a sucker
In amateur sports, players are poorly paid, if at all, some getting only a lollipop for compensation
Not for my money
The cheapsake’s favorite saying
got to run
The creepers motto
be no match for
the barbecure, no where in the house
Not to worry
Keep your shirt on
Bad advice at a nudist colony
keep on keeping on
Wasn’t that a song in the sixties?
Bad news travels fast
By way of a big mouth
right as rain
Look folks rain has nothing to do with right or wrong. Who writes these things?
Make haste slowly
When a turtle and a rabbit have children
in a good light
This is why bars have bad lighting
Causes enemies for life
raise hand against
Futile effort in the face of an on-coming train
Trouble in the above case is a…
When kinking down becomes boring
pop the question
Let’s get this straight, questions don’t pop, babies do that sometimes before the question is even asked.
drive to drink
Drinking buddies on their way to “The Bar for Serious Alcoholics”
scare the pants off
Really horny women try to get a guy's pants off by wearing a Richard Nixon mask
in bad taste
Can’t touch this
hang a huey
Huey? What is a huey?
A signal Romeo got from Juliet standing below her balcony
fight tooth and claw
What reckless tongue-kissing feels like
get hands on
Every school boys dream
The ancient Vikings conduced combat with sacks filled with bricks. The loser was said to be..
will stop at nothing
The opening bell for the “Annual Eating with Chopsticks Contest”
Thank you very much
A scarstic comment made to bad tippers
tell what to do with
Has to do with Mistoete and coattails
An English sailior fallen in combat
in the prime of life
Beef cows commiserating
Typo-eliminate the “m” and you have a description of Dorothy’s form of locomotion in the Wizard of Oz. Did she ever just walk down the yellow brick road. Guess not.
what's his face
People with poor vision often cannot distinish a face from a hole in the wall.
A slapping contest between an octopus and a politician. Yea octopus.
Some people just do not smile naturally and need help
If there are two drawers then they tend to be no longer alongside
patter of tiny feet
10 year old Ballerina practice
Aim for the stars!
You take the one on the left I'll take the one on the right
When in Rome
Beware of Greeks bearing bonds
none of your beeswax
Getting wax out of a bees ear is considered next to impossible
a Gordian knot
There is no such thing as a Gordian
tug at heartstrings
The human heart does not have strings- for strings see Physics String Theory or "thong"
Reader Reviews for
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Reviewed by pat medlin 7/9/2012
i love your breaks from einstein...they undo the cramps that the einsteins do to my little pea brain.
my 'partner in crime' is out of town for a feew days and reading some of your brainstretching pieces keeps me in shape so i don't snore when i occasionally snooze-off during one of his enthusiastic dissertations. i adore intelligent 'thinking' and curious questioning men. thank you lonnie
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 7/3/2012
Hahahahahaha....I can't even pick a favourite...they're all hilarious!!! Thanks for the laughter, Lonnie....we can all use it!