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Paul A Paterson

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Member Since: Jul, 2012

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7 Lucky Months
By Paul A Paterson
Sunday, July 08, 2012

Rated "PG" by the Author.

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This is basically a little story of how I found my darling Juliet. This ending goes better than Shakespeare's.

 Tempus fugit, and it seems to last forever. When you have been in love for a good amount of time it seems that you fall ino a dream. A dream with many changes. I remember how it started, first impretions are the ones that you never, ever forget. The first time she saw me stayed with her but I don't remember seeing her. We were attending college and on this day we had to make sure our personal details were accurate on the computers. To her, I looked like a snobby idiot with long blonde hair. I will admit that I have no idea what the hair was about. The snobbiness, probably from the dance course I just finished. Later on in theory when we were sorted into groups I thought of her as a lazy slob. I was right. I was the one doing all the work, but for some weird reason I didn't mind. I couldn't tell if it was because I enjoyed the medieval period in Britain, or because it's my duty to be kind as a christian. Later on we began talking about something to do with a computer game, it was because of the bag I had at the time. It had some sort of manga vampires on the front. Whereas the one I wanted had a picture of the Game I mentioned, and immediately she was interested, and we had a good conversation on the subject and this was where our friendship began. Then one of our class members was throwing a Halloween party. I wasn't too sure about going as it was about, I think, fifty miles from where I lived. I would have needed to stay with someone for that night, someone near a place that I had never heard of before. And she offered her place. I told her to ask her parents for approval before I stayed. I asked her if they said yes and told me that I was gay. In order for me to stay at her parents house I either had to be gay or going out with her. Fortunatly I had no problem with this, as it has happened so many times in the past. We arrived at the party with only one bottle of red wine, which was meant to have a hint of chocolate. It actually tasted more like malt vinegar. I arrived dressed up as Gomez Addams, ha ha, you dont want to know how I did the the hair. And she arrived as an undead rock chick or something. We had fun, we danced with others at first, and had a moment of talking to others, then I did something something she never did before. I asked her to dance with me even though there was no music. Weird way to do it, and she complained that there was no music but I told her that music wasn't necessary. Then about an hour later I was the one who gained the new experience. Usually you remember the moments leading up to it, and remember the moments afterward, but to me it was just a thiing that happened. All I knew was that for some reason she was kissing me. Like proper kissing, not the pecks on the cheek. At first I was rather shocked and was trying to pull away. But then I went back. How on earth can something like this happen. We were just friends, I wasn't wanting anything like this, I couldn't believe it, I finally had my first kiss. About a month later we celebrated her 17th birthday and kissed  her I think three times that night. Then when we were rehearsing for a pantomime, we were given a break and we were forced to kiss again. Went upstairs and someone blabbed out what happened, the girl wasn't bothered but all eyes were on me, mainly because my face was like a beetroot. I actually enjoyed it. The following week was the one that will always remain imprinted on my mind. My sister was having a small party for close friends for celebrating 21 years, I was completely drunk. But I felt like texting the girl and seeing how she was doing and then for a weird reason I had the the urge to ask her if she had feelings for me, and I told her how my feelings extended toward her. The only issue with beginning this relationship was trying to tell her parents that I was in love with their daughter, and that I wasn't gay. But it has now been seven months. And I can't think of anyone else to be with. All that I can say is, I love my dear courtney more than ever.


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Reviewed by Paul Is a bender 7/9/2013
This has to be the biggest pile of shit ever. Basically he met a fat disgusting bitch who had low standards and because he also had low standards he decided to nail her. Fair enough, maybe he likes fatties but why bother writing about it? It's not even like he knows how to write. The only positive thing I can say about "7 Lucky Months", or "7 Piles of Shit" as it should be called is that it gave me the best laugh I have had for long time.

By the way Paul if you like putting your dick in fat I have a tub of lard at my house. You should come round some time and shag it.
Reviewed by Peter Paterson 3/15/2013
This is, far and away, the worst thing I have ever read in my entire life. It's not even a story just a paragraph about how he met some random tart, he clearly has no idea how to write. I mean did he actually think some-one would see this and sign him up for a book deal? I don't thinks he's ever read a book in his entire life, if he had he would have realised that his work fails on every level.

Part of my job is to investigate sites like authorsden.com to discover and then sign writing talent. Unfortunatly this means that I have been compelled to read "7 Lucky Months". What a waste of my time, instead of reading work by authors who actually have ability or potential I have been sitting at my desk reading this.

I think putting stuff like this up online makes it harder for proper writers to be noticed. Paul you should be ashamed of yourself!
Reviewed by John Smith 3/14/2013
Do you know how sometimes something can be so bad it's actually good? Well this is so fucking awful that it's actually a masterpiece. This is hilariously bad, no matter how many times I read it I can't get over how totally awful the writing is. What makes it even more funny is that he thinks he's better than Shakespeare, why limit yourself to that Paul? If your going to be that deluded why not say your the best writer history? If they gave out awards for bad writing Paul A Paterson would win every year.

Either the author is making a statement about how it's so easy for any one to have stories placed on authorsden or he is a complete retard, I can't decide which it is.

Has any-one else read his bio? It's almost as hilarious as his writing. He was "raised in a church", really? He didn't get raised in a house like every-one else? He also says that he is exprienced in romance but is in his first relationship. What's his experiance then, maybe the priest at his church had a thing for little boys?
Reviewed by JK Rowling 3/13/2013
Wow, what an amazing story. The imagery is wonderful, when reading I almost feel as if I am a part of the story. The use of metaphors and similies is just stunning, I don't think that I have been as exited about an author for a long time. In case you hadn't realised i'm being sarcastic, this is a very poor effort from some one who doesn't even know how to spell talent.

Paul you are an idiot. I don't know anyone who would be so fucking stupid as to put their home address up online for the whole world to see, I hope you have recieved hate mail because you deserve it for putting crap like this up. You didn't even capatalise your girlfriends (well ex girlfriend I assume any sensible girl would have dumped you as soon as she saw this)name at the end, did you even proofread? Of course you didn't, if you had you would have realised you have zero talent.

The story itself is stupid, badly written, sappy shit. This is seriously one of the worst things ever written you have no talent Paul you can't write for shit. I would rather eat a dog turd than have to read another one of your shitty stories, Paul do the world a favour and STOP FUCKING WRITING.

If I ever see another one of your stories I am going to come to Hilton Road in Rosyth, track you down rip of your dick and make you eat it.
Reviewed by Andrew Paterson 2/27/2013
Utter shite. Why does authors den allow people to post shite like this, I'm offended that I have wasted five minutes of my life sitting and reading this garbage? How could any-one be so deluded/retarded they think that there's any chance of this being published? What the fuck was he thinking? Paul A Paterson you're a knob, I can only assume that the A stands for Absolutlyuselesstosspot. Here's an idea for you Paul A Paterson why don't you take your dad's cock out of your mouth for once and take a creative writing class you talentless wanker.
Can't act, can't write and your burds fat.
Reviewed by Quentin Longmuir III 2/19/2013
I thought this was a touching and emotional piece of work which showed that the author has the potential to go far. I would love to read more stories by this author. Paul A Paterson has a rare ability to paint a picture with his words.
Reviewed by Martin Hendry 2/18/2013
Better than Shakespeare? lmfo. I hope your a good actor cos the writing isn't going to happen.
Reviewed by Courtney Baillie 7/8/2012
I love you too <3

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