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Courtney J Baillie

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The Poisoned Apple
By Courtney J Baillie
Monday, July 09, 2012

Rated "PG13" by the Author.

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She grew up weak and frail, wanting to be strong and now she'll never be. A Short Story.

 I always wanted to be a strong woman, I always wanted to be proud of who I am and what I do and be proud of my gender but there was always one issue... growing up I found it hard to find a strong female role model. In nearly every film I couldn't help but notice that every movie, book or play that the woman is always the damsel in distress. How could I look up to a woman who needed to be rescued by a man, how could I look up to women who hardly even try to save theirself, especially in films like Snow White, how could she be so dumb to eat the poison apple from a dodgy old hag? Anyone would notice that something wasn't right with that old woman but no, Snow White had to be dumb and eat the apple anyway just because she didn't want to be mean and tell her to go away. What I'm trying to say is it's hard to grow up strong when you have no one strong to look up to, no strong, independant women to make you feel like you needed no one but yourself, to make you feel like you didn't need to be saved by a handsome prince. All my life I've grown up with no strong female role models and now i'm eighteen, weak, hopeless and dying for a cure, dying for someone to rescue me. When I saw him there, standing with her, I felt so helpless and all I could do was stare. I saw her look into those enchanting emerald eyes and my heart felt like it was ripped out and torn to shreds by a pack of ravenous, blood thirsty mutts when their lips locked. All I could do was stare, for everyone around it was a joyful sight as he put the ring on her finger, that beautiful diamond ring that glimmered in the moonlight, but for me it was like watching him prepare to stab a knife through his chest. Pain and desperation. He could never be mine now, I could never be the one with the diamond ring in the moonlight, I would never be the one to place my lips on his and I'm never going to look into his emerald eyes and get the same look of love that he shows her. He was perfection, he was everything I ever wanted and more but girls like me never get what they want, they just get dissapointment. I will never be the girl in the moonlight with the diamond ring holding the gaze of the man with emerald eyes, not even saphire could replace the love those emerald eyes could give me. The marble floor is frozen against my cheek as I stare at the tiled wall, I feel numb but no matter how many pills I stop taking I can still feel the ache of love still coursing through my veins. I want it to stop! I don't want to feel like this anymore! I don't want to feel helpless or lonely, I just want to feel loved by you! I feel my life slowly slipping away, I try to move but I'm paralized lying on the floor and yet I can still feel the mutts tearing at my heart. I always wanted to be a strong woman but love made me weak, the only women I looked up to were damsels in distress, helpless women who waited for their prince to rescue them when they were in danger. Now I'm the damsel in distress, slowly slipping away, slowly dying and in danger. I'm a pathetic damsel in distress waiting for my prince to save me from myself, I'm waiting for those emerald eyes to revive me but he's not here. Here's the reality, I'm the main protaginist and I'm the damsel in distress, he's the prince of my dreams but there was never a chance of being his princess, he already had one, now there's no point in my fairytale trying to keep going, there's no point in trying to find the happy ever after because i've lost it forever. I'm now Snow White and I was stupid enough to take the poisoned apple and end it all. 

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