I feel as if I'm about to crack.
I feel as if life has kicked me to the curb.
I don't see any hope in my life or in the lives of those most important to me, who have since flown the coop (more on this in a bit).
I don't know what I have done to deserve all of this .... stuff ... that's been going on for the past two years.
I'm a good person ... why, then, must God dump all of this crap on me?? Why couldn't someone who is evil or bad go through what I have??
Let me enlighten you on my life so far. Then try to understand why I am the way I am currently.
First of all, my parents were killed two years ago. Break-in attempt gone horribly wrong. They were not even out of their fifties; they were far too young. Mom died instantly; dad lingered for a week in a coma before finally succumbing to his injuries a week later. It happened around Christmas time.
Shortly after that, my youngest sister, Karen, was diagnosed with breast cancer. She lived six months; the cancer had spread by the time it was found. It was too late for any effective treatment.
She died on Valentine's Day last year. She was diagnosed back in July of 2010. She died on February 14, 2011.
After Karen's funeral, I moved to Canada. I figured I would be a lot happier there. For a while, I was, then I met Garry. Met him at a bar. He took a shine to me. He seemed to be a nice person to get to know; for a while he was, but several months into our relationship something went horribly wrong and Garry started beating me. That was when I discovered his true nature. In addition to abusing me, he was a womanizer and was heavily into pornography. He also drank. Garry was an alcoholic. He would go on a bender and be gone for days; when he would come back he would accuse me of stupid stuff I didn't even do and beat the holy hell out of me.
The last time he did, he put me into the hospital with broken ribs and a broken shoulder when he pushed me down the stairs. It was a miracle I wasn't killed.
I put a restraining order on Garry; I did not want him anywhere near me. He hasn't bothered me since my hospitalization, but I wouldn't put it past him; I am sure he is wondering where I am or if I even survived. That is if he even cared, which I know, for a fact, that he doesn't.
I have also since discovered that I am carrying his child. It is far too soon to tell whether the child I'm having is a boy or a girl, but I don't want him to know. If he treated me like dirt, then how is he going to treat his kid?? I don't even want to know the answer to that one.
Then people wonder why I am so depressed. Life has a way of screwing around with me and I just don't trust anybody anymore. I don't want to do anything but lie in bed and play on Facebook and feel sorry for myself. I have had it; I don't know why I don't get hit by a bus or struck by lightning, anything to escape this miserable existance called "Life"!
~To be continued.~