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Michelle R Kidwell Power In The Pen

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Mama I never meant for it to sound like I was upset with you in my last letter, because I wasnít mad at you. I know you made mistakes. I have made plenty of mistakesin my life as well. Iím not perfect, nobody but God himself is, and I canít say I would have done things differently, if it had been me in your situation. I truly canít say what I would have done. You did what you thought was best, as you stated in your last letter, and I thankyou for that Mama. You did a good job raising me, taking care of me, and never did I feel like a burden to you, like I did when I was around Daddy. I can remember trying to clamor for Daddyís attention, and feeling as if I could do nothing right in his eyes.

Mama you never made me feel like a burden though, you made me feel special, loved, and I know God blessed me by giving you as my Mother. I have heard to many times of Motherís who hurt their own children, Motherís who abandon their children.

Mother I know you would never, and never did abandoned me or hurt me in anyway. Mama I know about the adultery, and I know itís a sin, but itís not my job to judge you, and itís not me whose forgiveness you need to ask, but the Lordís. I know you haveasked the Lordís forgiveness already, and if you ask it will be given to you.

I know you did what you thought was best when I was growing up, by trying not to talk about it. Iím not saying what you did was correct or incorrect. I am saying that I knowin no way did you mean to hurt me. It wasnít you that hurt me Mama, but Daddy when he
left, you did everything you could to try to keep me from hurting.

The purpose of my las tletter was not to make you feel guilty, but I was saying Daddy hurt me, not you Mama. You were the one who stayed. I would never abandon Jeff like that, and I know Micheal never would either. Maybe once upon a time Daddy made a promise to you that he never would leave us,but Michealís different than Daddy. Heís a wonderful husband, and a wonderful father.

I know you have come to love Micheal as a son, but I also know you have a hard timetrusting men, because of what Daddy did. Mama you are going to have to learn toopen your heart to men though, not all men are like Daddy, who up and leave their families. Michealís not like that Mama, and there are other men out there who would never up and leave their families like Daddy did. Unfortunately there are also men out there who are like Daddy as well, or worse, but we just have to use the common sensethe Lord gave us, when it comes to trusting a person, any person for that matter, not onlymen but women too for that matter.

Mama no matter what I love you, your past mistakes donít change my love for you, because no matter what your mistakes were you were a good Mother, you went above andbeyond what was called of you Mama, and I know at times it couldnít have been easy. I know I asked tough questions that you found difficulty in finding answers for, but you always did your best to answer them, even if it was only to say " God made you special, because he wanted the world to learn compassion from you. " Mama you were and area great Mama, and I am so very blessed to be your daughter. I know Iíve told you that before but it bares repeating.

Mama having Jeff, watching my child grow has made me better understand the love between a Mother and her child, because I am experiencing that love first hand, the only greater love is the love between Our Heavenly Father isnít it Mama. Thatís why I find it so difficult to understand Parents who throw their children away, like they are no more than trash, but it happens everyday doesnít it Mama, and it makes me cry every time I think about it, I know it does you too Mama. Mama you never did that though and I know youwould never dream of doing that. I have learned what it is to be a good Mother, by theway you raised me and I am so very thankful for that.

On a lighter note Mama Micheal and I are planning on a trip to come see you soon. We both miss you and we want Jeff to see his Grandma, we will stay for a couple of weeks, and attend Church with you, it will be good to get to see everyone again, and thankthem for all the prayers that were directed my way when I got pregnant with Jeff, and they will get to see my little miracle first hand. Heís getting so big Mama you will hardly recognize him.

I love you Mama and pray that God blesses you richly.

Love Abby.

(C) Dec.8.02
Michelle R Kidwell

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Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 12/10/2002
outstanding write of a daughter's love for her mama, imperfections and all. loved this heartwarming write! love, your friend in christ jesus, karen lynn. (((HUGS))) :)

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