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Michelle R Kidwell Power In The Pen

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Books by Michelle R Kidwell Power In The Pen





At times I felt like screaming at them, telling them they needed to spend a day in my shoes and see what it was like. Sometimes I still feel that way and get irritated with those who act as if they have the right to think they know what I am going through. Kf only they knew what I went through in a day maybe they would not be so quick to judge me, and not be so qucik to tjudge me.





I am tired of the way people treated me tired of not being looked at as a person first. To may people seem to look at me and see my lifeless legs and think I am a half of person. I am whole just because my legs don’t work doesn’t make me less thjan whole but some people seem to forget that and seem to not see me as the person I am. I don’t wnat to be judged because of my disability I want to be judged for who I am, and isn’t it true that true judgement comes from Christ? Judging a person bwecause of a disability is not something Christ wants.

I had once been like those who judge me, whole and young, ( I am still young ) but my body is broken and I have learned that life can slip from you in a mere instant that God does not promise us tommorrow if we are given tommorrow we should look at it is a gift and use it wisely. Yes I am a Christian, I have been washed by the blood of Christ but that doesn’t stop me from getting upset with those who feel they can judge me because I happen to be disabled. As I said I was not always this way, it was an accident that took the use of my legs away, when I was only thirteen. It was a jhard time for me and I found myself angry with God and angry with life and general because of the accident, I had never dealt with anything remotley as tramatic as loosing the use of my legs and I was angry with God for letting it happend, but then I realized I needed to spend my energy seeking God’s will in my life and doing the best I can. I could still live my life from my chair as well as I had when I was able to walk, I mean of course some things changed, but basically I was the same. I just wished my peers would see it that way. I mean some of them, not all of my peers judged me and my true friends stuck beside me even during those months in the hospital when I had to relaern some of the most tasks again, but unfortunately there were those who decided that they would act either like i needed to be treated like I was an infant and some even felt it was all right to make fun of me. I could never understand why some kids were so thoughtless, why all they cared about were themselves instead of stopping to think of how the person being made fun of must have felt.

At times I felt like screaming at them, telling them they needed to spend a day in my shoes and see what it was like. Sometimes I still feel that way and get irritated with those who act as if they have the right to think they know what I am going through. Kf only they knew what I went through in a day maybe they would not be so quick to judge me, and not be so qucik to tjudge me.

If they could have seen me before the accident they would have seen just how normal I was. I loved to do the things most thirteen yeasr old’s did, I rollersdkated, I think I miss that the most, spending the day at the roller rink with my friends. I played soccer, although not very well, I did things most kids my age did, infact in some ways I could have been considered a tom boy, but I had fun. I still have fun, and enjoy life, but I get treated like an outcast to many times or treated like an invalid and I am neither. I am fully capable of taking care of myself. Just because I am in a chair doesnt mean I don’t have a life. I have a life and I live it fully.

I won’t lie to you and pretend my life is easy, because its not at least not physically, but I am fine spirtually and I get along with my life as best as I know how, and I do not ask for your pity or your judgements, I only ask for love, Christian love, .Agape love, the kind of love that comes supernaturally, the love Christ has for us.

Michelle R Kidwell
April.23.03


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Reviewed by Sarah Tagert 4/24/2003
Great Write, very well expressed!
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 4/23/2003
marcy expresses her feelings well. she reminds me a lot of ronee' and what she's been feeling lately; she is tired of people treating her shabbily because she is on crutches and wears braces on her legs or uses a wheelchair on her "bad days". good story, michelle! love, your friend in texas, and your sister in christ jesus, karen lynn. (((HUGS))) glad you are back; i've missed your writes; hope all is well! :)

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