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t y green

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Technology Enthusiast
By t y green
Tuesday, August 05, 2003

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I do love the electronic toys.

I am a technology enthusiast, if they make it I will buy it. Sends my poor husband up the wall he never knows what new fancy swanzy tinker toy I will come home with next. On the other hand if it can be broken, I can do that too. I just get so excited unwrapping it, my pulse rate quickens, tunnel vision invades my eyes and I get the shakes. Do these symptoms point to a dependency? Anyway, I tear at the package like a dog on a hambone. Oops, and sometimes electronic items are packaged like say a bomb. You know, you yank the wrong string and Pow! So I stand there and try to figure out how to reattach the wires, power switches etc. Sometimes I think just return the thing and say it was already broke when I unpacked it. Well it was! It's their fault, they shouldn't have packed it so well. Getting back to my dependency, I meant to say propensity, no my weakness, no my habit, no the fine art of acquisition. Yeah, that's it. I am a connoisseur of fine electronics. You know like a drunk is good at wine tasting, a drug addict at skin punctures and a thief at procuring. Well a couple of months ago I realized that I missed reading my email while I was working. You never know my chat buddies might have an emergency of some sort. Anyway, the idea occurred to me that I needed a web enabled cell phone, so on my lunch hour I stumbled over to Verizon and after two minutes of research and intense consultation with the salesman who said, "Lady that is the only phone the service comes with." I purchased a Audiovox tri-mode cell phone. Thank God the salesman unpacked it for me. My phone worked perfectly, that is after I learned to operate it. It was wonderful, I could email, send faxes, surf the web, get local directions, access my answering machine messages and chat with my buddies. All was well in Trinadom, until that fateful day while using the women's rest facilities my phone hopped out my purse and took a swim in the toliet. I screamed, my fellow workers all rushed to my aid. Tearfully I explained my dilemma. They all laughed. How could anyone be so heartless! So I waited for my phone to dry out so I could resume my needful activities. Thankfully the next day it was working, well almost. My phone reception was horrible. In coming callers sounded like they were being strangled in a tunnel. I took the phone to the Verizon repair shop and tearfully explainned my problem. "Sorry Maam, the Salesman replied, You will have to buy another one." Oh and by the way my story differed somewhat from the truth. I said the phone had fallen in a puddle. Well it did! So off I ran to buy another phone. All was well in Trinadom, until that fateful day when I had just passed through the metal detector booth in the circuit court building. No I was not arrested or a defendant in any case. I worked there! As I was saying, I had just come through the metal detector booth and the guard insisted that I show him the phone was operational. It could have been a bomb or a gun, you never know. Sure that was the fifth or sixth time, I lose count, that I have been through there and showed him my phone and I was wearing my building ID, but you never know I could have been a terroist or something. Well as I cleared the booth I dropped my phone face down on the concrete floor and there was no longer a display. Sniff, let me have a moment to compose myself. I ask you what good is a phone, a web enabled phone without a display! So I waited, surely God would not let my phone die! Following the memorial service I crawled back to Verizon. I felt so dirty, my phone had barely been dead a week and already I was going to replace it. I tried, but my throat swelled and my eyes teared. My heart just couldn't take anymore so I bought a Nokia. It was a thing of Beauty and well I'm recovering, but it's not web enabled but I still maintain my web access service because I know one day me and my Audiovox tri-mode will be reunited in that big phone company in the sky.

(c)2001 TYGreen

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Reviewed by Waltitia 8/6/2003

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