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Joe Tuffy tofuri@swbell.net

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Books
· Archangel

· Lobisón - A Short Story

· Lobisón


Short Stories
· Film shoot of Room 333: The Voice of Terror

· An Air Force basic recruit is a...WEREWOLF?!!!


Articles
· Joe Tuffy Tofuri on R. Lee Ermey

· Booksigning at Louie's Pizza!

· Marine Corps Drill Instructors!!!

· Meet our newest member for the Woburn Writers Group


Poetry
· Louie's

· In Search Of Thunder

         More poetry...
News
· Youtube Promo for Tuffy's Heroes-Revised Edition

· Gunny R. Lee Ermey pays me a visit!!!

· A phone conversation with R. Lee Ermey!!!

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Tuffy's Heroes-Revised Edition!!
by Joe Tuffy tofuri@swbell.net   


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Books by Joe Tuffy tofuri@swbell.net - View all
· Archangel
· Lobisón
· Lobisón - A Short Story


Category: 

Military

Publisher:  Mentor Enterprises ISBN-10:  0983174520 Type:  Fiction
Pages: 

336

Copyright:  2011 ISBN-13:  9780983174523


Mentor Enterprises
Joe Tuffy Tofuri

Gunny Ermey says..."Tuffy's Heroes-Revised Edition is Out--Standing!!" Now selling for only $4.00 at gipubs.com!

Follow the side-splitting mis-adventures of a new flight of Air Force basic recruits, their hard-nosed T.I. and their hilarious 5 foot, three inches tall Squadron Commander, Major Chin Ho Wok! This is military humor at its very best!
Available now at the low price of $14.95, with no shipping costs the next 60 days! Order it now at the links provided below.

NOTE:  For anyone who purchases a copy of "Tuffy's Heroes-Revised Edition" and would like it signed, please contact me through my email address located in the book with your mailing address.  I will send you an "authographed by Author" sticker to place on the book's front cover, plus a clear vinyl sleeve that sticks to the inside of the front cover.  Inside the sleeve will be a special "Tuffy's Heroes" card, and on the back will be your name, a few words, and my signature, all hand-written.

 Click on the following link to see my youtube promo for "Tuffy's Heroes-Revised Edition" where I actually act out some of the book's characters and training situations.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yxEEx152ew

 Here is the direct link to my publisher's website to purchase Tuffy's Heroes-Revised Edition:

http://gipubs.com/product/tuffys-heroes-revised-edition/

NOTE:  Each day I check my potential sales stats on this site.  Unbelievably, all those desiring to purchase "Tuffy's Heroes", which is no longer in print or for sale anywhere, are still going to Amazon.com or Barnes&noble.com or even my previous publisher, Publish America to purchase leftover copies of the book.

"Tuffy's Heroes" sold for a minimum of $27.95 with $2.95 shipping costs on all these sites!  But now the re-write of the book, "Tuffy's Heroes-Revised Edition" has an additional 50 pages of TI/basic trainee hilarious interactions, and is only selling for $4.00The- same-exact-book - with 50 additional pages of fantastic military humor - new book cover designendorsed by "Gunny" R. Lee Ermey - and ONLY selling for $4.00  VS.  $27.95 for the original version!  But yet, people are still going to bookstore sites and trying to purchse the older version!  My new book is only available through my Publisher's book store (link provided), and at Army and Air Force clothing issue stores around the world.   Please, readers, click on the link and get yourself an outstanding book for an outstanding price!!

I found a publisher named "Mentor Enterpries" in Madison, Alabama owned by a retired army Master Chief who publishes strictly military publications for AAFES, and these pubs are located in army clothing issue stores all over the world.  I sent him the re-written manuscript for "Tuffy's Heroes-Revised Edition" and he loved it so much, he decided to take a chance and make it his company's first published novel at a far lower cost.  And, to make my new book even more inviting to you, it has the personal endorsement of "Gunny" R. Lee Ermey on the front and back covers!  There's a photo of myself with the Gunny taken in my living room in 2005 that he authorized me to use...not bad, huh?! 

OK my fellow readers, I was a Drill Instructor or T.I. as we're called in the Air Force, in the 60's, 70's and 80's, retiring in October of 1983.  Altogether, I spent 14 years as a T.I..  But I must admit, as harrowing an experience as military basic training is for the trainees, there are those certain times during training when hilarious situations occur!

Any individual, male or female, who has suffered through the miseries of basic training AND their drill instructors and T.I.s, no matter what branch of service they were in, will agree to this.  Think back to those days, filled with fear and tensions, and recall that specific moment in time when your Drill Instructor stood before you, looked you directly in the eyes and blurted out some of his infamous "one-liners"!  Here's a small example.  Your Drill Instructor is nose-to-nose with you and he is pissed!  And then, with a straight, firm look, he says, "SMITH!  You clown!  Are you some kinda dum-dum??? Why do you INSIST on agravatin' me?  You are, without a doubt, as dumb as a box-of-rocks!!!"

You were too scared to laugh, but, you damn sure wanted to!Well readers, the laughter begins within the first few pages of TUFFY'S HEROES-Revised Edition, and never-lets-up!  You'll discover what happens when a new cigarette commercial "one-liner" takes Lackland Air Force Base by storm, and directly affects the outcome of an Air Force parade!

The book tells the story of what was actually involved in the life of Air Force T.I.s during the Vietnam War in the '60s...on and off duty.  However, throughout the entire story, they do find themselves in somewhat strange and hilarious situations, especially when their trainees are involved!

I mean, c'mon!  Basic trainees would NEVER steal an airplane from in front of a basic training squadron...or would they?  Is it true that Major Chin Ho Wok actually saw a basic trainee...hanging from a tree limb???  Whaddia mean there's a basic trainee...inside the squadron mailbox??? 

"TUFFY'S HEROES-Revised Edition" is absolutely loaded with hilarious situations and characters that will muster memories within you that have long been forgotten.  And for those of you who have never been in the military, the humor, itself, will capture and definitely hold your attention.  I mean, how was it possible that a simple Italian sausage link led directly to Airman Basic John Mazzo's enlistment?

Okay, gang, here's how "TUFFY'S HEROES-Revised Edition" was born.  In 1975, when I was a T.I. in the 3707 Basic Military Training Squadron (BMTS) at Lackland AFB in San Antonio, I decided to put some of my past, extremely humorous, training experiences down on paper.  I passed the written material around to my fellow instructors and they just loved the stories. At the time, we had a young Squadron Commander named Captain Watt, who also read the stories. Now his father was a retired actor who played in all the William Boyd, Hop-a-long Cassidy movies during the 1940's.  He said to me, "Sgt Tofuri, you need to put all these stories into book form!"

So, I decided to do just that. I took all the humerous events that occurred over the years pertaining not only to basic trainees, but the T.I.s. also!   I combined all these events into a single flight of Air Force basic trainees from their first day of training until their graduation.  I use myself as the main character T.I. and modeled the other instructors within the story from T.I.s I had worked with in the past...with one exception.  The character of Master Sergeant Horace Swayzee, Squadron Section Supervisor, was modeled after one of my heroes...R. Lee Ermey. I'm quite sure you remember him from the great movie, "FULL METAL JACKET".

I used the R. Lee Ermey character, himself, as seen on his fantastic new TV show on the HISTORY channel called, MAIL CALL.  His wit, humor and body language was perfect for good 'ole Horrace.  (By the way, my fellow readers, it is in my professional opinion that R.Lee Ermey has the greatest COMMAND VOICE in the history of ALL military Basic training!!!  So, check-out MAIL CALL on Sunday nights and observe a great actor as he romps through 30 minutes of fantastic military history using his own personal genius and humor.) Then when you read TUFFY'S HEROES, and come upon the great character of MSgt Horace Swayzee, just think of the Gunny.

Alright readers, let's continue and talk a little about the basic trainees within the book.  The primary basic trainees in the story are modeled after certain trainees I trained in years gone by.  I have memories of those certain trainees that left me with positive and memorable impressions of their individual character while they came through basic training, those many years ago, especially the character of "Bubba".   Bubba was a giant African American who arrived at Lackland...bare-foot! In the side pockets of his denim, bib-coveralls were a pair of shoes belonging to his father.  He was from a farming family in Mississippi, and had a rather easy demeanor.

However, I made him a squad leader and when any Airman within his squad screwed up, Bubba's wrath was something to behold!  I wish I could recall his real name, but, after training thousands of recruits, well, time just sort of takes over.

I take a very dramatic approach within the book when actual training is taking place...well, mostly.  I also use a great deal of humor, such as in the situation involving the basic trainee who, in an effort to obtain a discharge, claims to be a werewolf!

And most definitely, humor was a must when speaking of the 5 foot 3 inches tall Chinese American Squadron Commander, who is strictly a total figment of my somewhat demented imagination.  The good Major's vocabulary is caught up somewhere within the cartoon world of Elmer Fudd! 

Let me not forget to mention another character who was ex-army, a Korean and Vietnam war vet, and a muscular giant of a man named TSgt "Bullets" Grogan.  Bullets' claim to fame was his continous medical problem involving the elimination of "gas", and his present position of not being able to "shoot anyone any more!"

The book is titled after my nick-name and precisely what my trainees were quite often called by other T.I.s, TUFFY's HEROES.  It took me almost 30 years to complete this manuscript, and I am extremely proud of the results.

So give Tuffy's Heroes-Revised Edition a read, my friends... it's a read you'll never forget!!

http://gipubs.com/product/tuffys-heroes-revised-edition/


Tuffy




Excerpt

"...Mazzo, you clown! Get your dumb ass in step! Now reach up there and gently brush that pregnant gnat off your hat!"

Professional Reviews
Outstanding read!!!
“Funniest Military Book since Catch 22 and M.A.S.H.!”
—W. H. “Bill” McDonald, President of MWSA (Military Writers Society of America).



Unbelievable book!
I had the pleasure of reading the manuscript of Tuffy's Heroes and many pages brought tears to my eyes as the memories ran so deep. I was a TI in the 70's and 80's and was one of Tuffy Tofuri's students in ITB (The T.I. Training School). I remember a lot of the stories that are in the book and lived a few of them since I pushed flights in the MOB dorms and in the RH&T's. Yes I used some of the training techniques that appear in the book, as well as some that don't. Any MTI or anyone who has gone through Basic of any branch will understand and enjoy this book. It is an absolute MUST READ. Tuffy contacted me several months ago and gave me the opportunity of illustrating the front cover, which I did with great pleasure. Joe "Tuffy" Tofuri really put his heart into this book and it's GREAT!!!!
Donald R. Dobbs, MSgt, USAF, Retired


Brilliant piece of writing!!!
Author Tofuri, I just finished Chapter 12 of Tuffy's Heroes-Revised Edition and I had a 'realization' that never happened to me before. I'm using this little book for some kind of therapy sessions. Each night I read but one chapter, I ponder it, I laugh, I ponder it again, and I usually laugh again. Unlike any other reading, from philosophers to modern novelists, have I NOT wanted a book to end. I'll try reading a chapter every other night. James M. Noiles, EdD.



Reader Reviews for "Tuffy's Heroes-Revised Edition!!"


Reviewed by Jim Rose (Reader) 9/15/2004
One of the best books I have read in years. This book stirred all the emotions from feeling the apprehension of the trainees, laugther to the point of tears, to some tears at the end of the book. Mr. Tofuri's writing immerses you in the BMT experience and I found that I couldn't wait to get home to see what happened next. For those who may not have a military connection the book is a delight and has some thought provoking insights that apply to the every day civilian workplace. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking for an enjoyable, (and I do mean enjoyable!), and thought provoking read.
Mr. Tofuri, I look forward to reading your other books and will be looking forward to your next work.
Reviewed by Lou Georgieff (Reader) 6/5/2004
As a former Military Training Instructor (MTI/TI) I had the honor and pleasure of previewing Tuffy Tofuri's book 'Tuffy's Heroes'. I enjoyed the manuscript so much as soon as I was notified the book was available, I ordered it. The book chronicles the adventures/misadventures of young civilians going into Air Force Basic Military Training (BMT). Tuffy describes in graphic and profane language the trials and tribulations of basic trainees; the pressures on the TI by peers, supervisors and officers, and family. It is at times funny, outrageous, unbelievable, and very down to earth. As a TI that 'walked-the-walk' I got very immersed in the book as I related to all the incidents described. I remembered things I had forgotten but now were refreshed as I kept reading. This is a must read for all past and present MTI's/TI's; and although present TI's can't do many of the things Tuffy describes, it will give them some insight of the TI mindset at that time. Civilians who have never served in the military, much less in the MTI career field, might cringe at some of the things happening, but will also have compassion with the trainees and TI's as the weeks pass by. Tuffy details vividly the exasperation of the TI trying to meld civilians into a cohesive unit. When the TI gets some time off, he takes the work home or to the bar with him as he has a few beers with his friends. The most poignant portion of the book, in my opinion, is the last chapter as Tuffy is winding down after his flight graduates from BMT and he is contemplating the new flight coming. I can't describe in a few words how I felt, as I read and remembered my exact feelings during this time, when I too contemplated my graduates. I verily emphathize with Tuffy during this point in the book, so I leave you with the thought I now can 'talk-the-talk' about this great book!
Reviewed by Gabor Renner (Reader) 2/24/2004
Dear Tuffi

What a thrill! I'm looking forward to reading the whole book. Your description of instrutors and recruits are so ..... vivid!
Thanks for the most humourous memories this stimulates.

Kamaradschaftlich
Gabor

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