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Have you ever wondered what Heaven or the Throne Room of the Almighty looks like? Have you ever wondered if God was really there for you when you needed Him the most? Have you ever wondered if Hell is real? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have visions or a visitation from the Lord that so profoundly affected you that it was something that you will never forget?
Prophetic Impressions: Thirty Days With Christ is an account of a thirty day visitation from the Lord in which He reveals many things about the Kingdom of God as well as Hell. The Lord reveals what Heaven is like, as well as demonstrates His Power, all to His Glory! He reveals many Visions of Splendour and engages in battle with the Army of the Lord following His lead!
If you are curious about the things of the Kingdom of God, you will enjoy Prophetic Impressions: Thirty Days With Christ!
There are 280 pages in this 5.5 x 8.5 digest size paperback book that is abundantly packed with Supernatural Revelations of the Heavenly kind!
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For those that are wondering what Heaven looks like, or wondering if Hell is real, Prophetic Impressions: Thirty Days With Christ is the book to read!
Shortly after I was filled with the Holy Spirit, I began a whole new way of worshipping Jesus. I felt good praying to the Lord in my Spiritual language that He had given to me, and I was confident that He was hearing my prayers. It was then that I began to earnestly seek His face, asking Him to show Himself to me.
What I was asking the Lord for was a visitation from Him. I was asking that He would show Himself to me like He did to the disciples after He was crucified and rose from the dead.
He did not disappoint me.
One evening while I was fasting and praying, I again was praying for more of Him. I had a hunger for the Lord that I just could not seem to satisfy no matter how much I read His Word and fellowshipped with Him.
I wanted more. I wanted ALL of Him. I wanted to see His Glory. I wanted to see Him face to face.
I wanted a good taste of Heaven. After a couple of hours of prayer, I got up from my couch, and I went into the kitchen to make myself some tea. I got a pan out, filled it with water and put it on the stove in order to boil it.
As I was reaching to turn the burner on, I suddenly began to feel every fiber of my being begin to prickle. I was instantly filled with such an intense feeling, such as I have never felt before in my life.
The feeling is hard to describe, other than to say that it felt as though my insides were tingling so much that I thought for sure that while standing there I was going to crumble to the floor.
I quickly understood that the Lord was very present, and so I quickly turned the burner off on the stove and turned to run into my bedroom, which was my prayer closet as well as my 'sanctuary' - my meeting place with the Lord.
I didn't make it.
I made it as far as my living room, and suddenly the entire room was filled with such a Holiness, such Brilliance, such Glory, that I could no longer stand up.
As I reached the middle of the living room, I went down, unable to stand any longer in the presence of the Holiness that was now in my home. As I lay on my face on the floor, my entire body was shaking like a leaf on a tree in a bad windstorm.
I briefly thought of what it said in God's Word about the transfiguration of Jesus high on that mountain in Matthew 17:1-13, where the disciples were also shaking and trembling at the presence of the Almighty. I could definitely relate to how they must have felt.
As I lay there trembling, eyes tightly squeezed shut, all I could do was start mumbling in my Spiritual language, as my mouth was so dry I could barely swallow.
Then I heard His voice. As I was laying with eyes tightly shut, I heard the Lord say, “Open your eyes.”
His voice, though soothing, sounded at that moment like Mighty Rushing Waters.
At the sound of His voice, I began to tremble even more, squeezing my eyes shut even more tightly than they already were. Again I heard His voice. “Open your eyes.” This time His voice was gentle and sweet, the Mighty Rushing Waters gone.
Slowly I opened my eyes, focusing on the floor in front of me. What I saw made me begin to weep, deep wracking sobs. I was now looking at the bare feet of the Lord Jesus, Himself.
As I looked at the feet of my Savior, He extended His hand down toward the floor, and again He spoke. “Take My hand,” He said. As I looked at His feet, and then His hand, I suddenly felt no fear, only peace.
I placed my right hand in His, and He lifted me up off of the floor and onto my feet. As I got up on my feet, I looked at the Lord’s feet again, and my eyes slowly rose to meet His face.
He is tall and very muscular. There is nothing small or slight about the God that we serve!
His face was beautiful. It shone with the Glory of God, and I was taken aback by our Lord’s simple, yet captivating features. His eyes were like none that I had ever seen before.
As I looked Him in the eyes, I was completely lost in them. I could not take my eyes off of Jesus’ eyes, they were so very beautiful.
As I gazed into my Savior’s face, He looked intently upon me. His gaze was as though He could see into my very soul. He had a deep gaze, and His eyes were pouring forth so much love. I have never felt that much love come from a person's gaze, as it did from Jesus’.
Jesus was looking at me with such love that I thought for sure that I would break down and weep uncontrollably. Somehow I didn't.
All that I could think of at the time was that I felt so unworthy to be in His very presence, but His eyes spoke it all.
“You are worthy,” I heard the Lord say, and I quickly reminded myself to be careful of my thoughts as I knew that He knew my thoughts before I even knew them.
As His eyes captivated me, it seemed like an eternity until He spoke again. “I have come to show you things of the Kingdom of God. I will teach you things about not only the Kingdom, but also Healing. Over the next 30 days, the things that I want you to learn, you will learn directly from Me.”
As I was still too stunned to have God standing in my living room, all I could do was nod in agreement with Him.
As I stood there listening to the Lord speak, He began to give me insight and teaching on His Scriptures that pertained to Healing. He told me that as I was reading the Scriptures to look deep within them to get a revelation of what they meant.
I asked Him if He would give me Supernatural revelation of His Word, and He assured me that if there was anything that I did not understand, to only ask, and He would supply the revelation Supernaturally.
He spoke for what seemed like hours, and then He again took my hand in His. As He took my hand, I had an instant understanding that He wanted me to dance with Him.
As I stepped closer to Him, I could smell the fragrance of the Lord. He smelled so wonderful, like a mixture of spices and flowers. I breathed in deeply, wanting His fragrance to linger in my senses for as long as possible.
I laid my left hand upon His shoulder, and He took my right hand that was in His, and pulled me toward Him. We danced for what seemed an eternity, and I was so completely lost in the closeness of the Lord, that I never wanted that moment to end.
We danced, and it felt as though my feet were floating above the ground, and my head felt as though it were in the clouds. His arms are so strong, yet they held me so very gently. I have never known such love and gentleness in my life!
As our dancing slowly came to an end, He extended my right hand outward, and He took a couple of steps back from me.
As I opened my eyes and looked at Him, I knew that He was about to leave, if only for a short time, as he had promised me that He would come everyday for a 30 day period to teach me about His Word and the Kingdom of God.
As He stood a couple of steps back, He looked intently upon me, and again He spoke. This time when He spoke, He spoke with Authority and seriousness. “I want you to STEP into My Authority,” He said.
As I knew that this was a direct command from Him, I slowly began to step forward toward Him. He still had my right hand in His, and as I got closer to Him, He took my left hand in His also.
Slowly He pulled me toward Him by both hands, all the while looking into my eyes with those beautiful love-filled captivating eyes of His. I did not take my eyes off of His, nor did I want to.
I did not want to take my eyes off of His face. I was afraid that if I took my eyes off of His, that I would miss out on something, or that He would leave and I would miss Him leaving. My eyes were completely riveted to His.
Again I got so close to Him that I could hear His breathing. I could again smell His fragrance as I got even closer to Him. I could feel His breath like a gentle breeze upon my skin.
Again He spoke, still looking into my eyes. “I want you to STEP into My Authority,” He repeated.
I then understood what He was saying, and I let Him lead the way. As I gazed into the eyes of my Savior, He gently pulled me closer and closer to Him until I literally felt myself being gently pulled right into the very being of our God.
What the Lord had done was pull me completely with in Himself, until I was completely in Him, and He in me.
As I stood there suddenly realizing that I was in the very midst of God’s Glory, I could not help but weep. It was such an awesome experience!
It was such a wonderful experience that it is hard to put into words! I wept at the realization of what He had just done, the realization of the Power that I had just walked into.
My skin was on FIRE, and I felt as though every cell with in my body was full of electricity.
It dawned on me, that His Authority that I had just literally stepped in to, was part of the very reason why He went to the cross, and why He sent His Spirit here, so that ALL of us could STEP INTO His Authority and use it to destroy the works of the devil, just as He did!
As I stood there weeping, I could feel a Power that I had never known existed before enter into my body, and I felt completely possessed by the Spirit of God. All I could do was stand there and submit to it, and receive it with everything that I had with in me.
I felt a brilliance of Light enter into my body. I felt more Fire enter into my body. I felt more Supernatural Power enter into my body. Everything about me felt rejuvenated. I finally felt whole, complete.
A while later when I finally slowly opened my eyes, the Lord Jesus was gone, but I did not feel sad about that. He had promised that He would be back for a 30 day visit, and I knew that I would be seeing Him again shortly in the morning.
I was so full of the Glory of God, that my head felt detached from my body. I felt like I was floating on the clouds. I was filled with such a feeling of love, and felt so good inside that I thought that my legs would give out on me and I would surely faint.
I made my way back to my couch, where I sat and thought for hours about what had just occurred. I could not help but smile. I had perma-grin!
I thought about how the Lord had danced with me, and I knew without a doubt that our God is also a Romantic Lover of our souls!
As I got up from the couch and headed to bed, I knew that I would have a very hard time getting to sleep after my encounter with the Lord.
I was also filled with intense anticipation at the realization that
He would be back again the next morning.
And so off to bed I went, waiting for my Beloved to return...
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * 2 * ~ *
Wooed by the Savior
It was the second day of my visitation with the Lord. I was laying sideways on my padded rocking arm chair with my legs dangling over the side. I had been just sitting there for a couple of hours now, just resting and enjoying quiet time with the Lord. There were no words that were needed. Just being alone with Him was enough.
When I had woken up that morning, I had opened my eyes to find the Lord at my side. I couldn’t help but smile as I realized that He had probably been at my side all night while I slept. That thought made me feel safer to know that I had such protection by the Living God!
I glanced over at the Lord who was sitting in the other arm chair in my living room. His rugged, handsome looks always captivated me. But even then I knew that there was much more to Him than His dark rugged looks and His charm.
Yes, even aside from the constant essence of pure love radiating from Him, I knew without a doubt that I had found my best friend. I couldn’t help but smile even more at that realization.
The sound of a key in my door interrupted my thoughts. I looked toward the door just in time to see my daughter enter through it. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. She took her boots off, and came and stood by the window in silence.
I arose from my chair and went and stood by the window next to my daughter. I watched the big snowflakes coming down. It was so quiet, so fairytale-like, watching the snow gently falling toward the earth, covering it with a soft white blanket of fluff.
The trees in the backyard were covered in a white frost, giving the whole yard the appearance of a glimmering magical winter wonderland. Living in Minnesota for most of my life, I had always been in awe of the beauty surrounding the snows of winter.
I continued watching as the snowflakes came toward my living room, collecting in intricate designs on the glass of the window before me. I looked on, amazed at their design, and being even
more amazed by the thought that no two snowflakes are alike.
I looked out into the yard at the snow banks and drifts lining the fence. There was at least 12 inches of snow in the yard now. I stood staring at the snow banks, amazed at how many millions of different snowflakes must be in just one snow bank. And to think of how many snow banks there are in the entire world!
“I wonder how many different designs of snowflakes there are in just the snow that is coming down now from the sky,” I thought to myself out loud.
“Numbers cannot number them,” the Lord answered me.
I looked over at the Lord and smiled. “You amaze me!” I said to Him. “You have created so much, so many different things, and yet You know of them all, keep track of them all, just like You keep track of every single human being on the face of the earth! And even more captivating yet, Your Word says that You know each and very single one of us by name, and that You know the number of hairs that are on our heads! You are just so amazing, so awesome, that sometimes I just cannot fathom it!” I cried out to Him with tears in my eyes.
He came and stood by me, putting His arms around me to hold me tight. “Yes, I know everything about you, which is why I love you so much,” He quietly told me.
I thought for sure that I had never been more in love with Him than I was at that very moment. It felt so wonderful to be so completely loved. It felt so wonderful to be so unconditionally loved.
It felt so wonderful to just be with the Lord. I knew without a doubt that I had made the right decision when I had come to Him and received Him as my Savior, and I do not regret it one bit.
I had never known love before such as the love that I was now experiencing. I knew that there was no way that I could ever go back to the life that I had before coming to the Lord. There was no way that I wanted to give up any of what I now have with Him. I was sold out for the Lord early on!
After awhile when it got to be later in the day, I sat on the couch in my living room, and started studying the Bible with the Lord. We were studying the book of Jeremiah, and I was thinking about Jeremiah 1:5 where it says that even before the Lord formed us in the belly, He knew us. He personally knew each and every single one of us.
The awesomeness of that alone was enough to make me want to cry. I looked at the Lord and asked Him, “You really were there for me all along, weren’t You? Can You please bring to my memory some of those times? I would like to reminiscence about the earliest
times that we shared together, even before I knew You as my Personal Savior!”
Again He did not disappoint me.
I watched as the wall in my living room opened up and a scene began to play out in front of me as though I were watching a giant movie. I snuggled close to the Lord as I relaxed and began to watch what it was that He was about to show me…
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
I look back now, here today, and I can honestly say that You have, indeed, always been pursuing me. I just never knew that it was You at the time. Not at first, anyhow. You’ve been wooing me for all of my life. All along, it’s been You, only You. You, the one that started out as being a stranger in my life ended up being the one person, my real true love, that was always there to begin with, but I just never paid any attention to. At least not right away. Oh, how You tried to get my attention back then! And I was just too blind to see it. I looked right past it, and never really even saw it that way until that one fateful day.
And so, the love story begins…
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
The Year 1969
I remember starting out for school on the first day of Kindergarten. My mother had walked me a little ways down the block, and then informed me that I was to follow her directions on how to get to the school from there, and then suddenly I was on my own. Oh, how frightened I was to be left all alone like that.
The street seemed so very large, and so strangely empty that day for some reason. The sun was shining brightly down between the trees that were gently bent over the road on both sides, making an arch-type of walkway down the tar road that would lead me to school.
I walked along slowly at first, uncertain of my steps. I was very afraid that I would not remember the directions that my mother had given to me, and somehow I would end up lost. I became terrified at that thought and began to walk quicker toward where I was hoping the school would be.
Clouds passed over the sun, making shadows through the trees as they floated past me, far above my head. I saw those shadows on the street where I was walking, and my mind began to play tricks on me, and I became even more terrified than I already was. It seemed as though every shadow had become some sort of scary creature as it passed before me on the road.
I let out a little scream, and started running in the direction of where I thought I was supposed to be going. I started crying. I was so very scared. I turned the corner at the end of my block, and began running down the street in hopes that the school would soon come into sight. It did.
I slowed down to a fast walk, relieved to finally see the school a little ways further down the road. That was where I had first met you…
* ~ * ~ *
I remember that I was looking down at the ground, just kind of watching the road go by, and catching my breath. Suddenly I had bumped into somebody. I quickly looked up, startled. I did not even realize that there had been anybody else on the road.
As I looked up at you, the sun shone so brightly around your face that I could barely make out your facial features. But even as only a child of five years, I could tell that you were a very nice person to look at.
I did not feel any fear at being so close to a complete stranger. Instead, I felt relief. I no longer felt so alone on that road to the school. For some unknown reason to me back then, I immediately knew that I had nothing to be afraid of with you.
You were only about a half a foot taller than me, but to me it seemed like you were as tall as the sky. You bent down slightly so that I could see you much better. The first thing that I noticed was that for a ‘kid’, You appeared to be more mature beyond your years, like a grown-up would be.
Your face was young like a child’s would be, but something about you reminded me of a Fathertype of person. I had no idea back then just how right I was with that thought.
The other thing that I noticed about you right off of the bat, was your eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes that I have ever seen. When I looked at them, I could just feel the love that was pouring forth from them. I will never forget those eyes.
You smiled the most beautiful smile at me that made me totally relax with you. I felt absolutely no fear. You just looked at me for a moment, and then you spoke. What a soothing and wonderful voice that you had for a boy!
“Hello, Mary! How are you doing today?” you asked me. I briefly wondered how it was that you already knew my name, and just as quickly thought that it had to be because you knew one of the other children in my family. It did not dawn on me that you knew them all.
And so I answered you back. “I’m good. I’m on my way to school,” I politely answered you. “Oh, well, that’s where I’m going too. We can walk together,” you replied.
I did not argue with that. I welcomed the company. I no longer felt scared to walk to school with somebody nice next to me. It never dawned on me to even ask your name then.
We continued the walk to school with me being silent, mainly because I did not know what to say to you. So, I just kept right on walking, enjoying the sound of the gentle whistling song that came from your lips. To me, it sounded like angels whistling. It was a very beautiful song that you were quietly whistling to, and I have never heard anything as beautiful as that since.
We finally reached the school and you walked with me inside, pointing out to me where the front office was so that I could find my way to class. “Here you will be taken care of from now on,” you told me.
You walked with me inside the office, and immediately the secretary turned her attention to me and gently asked for my name. She then told me which classroom that I would be in, and told me that she would be more than happy to walk with me to my class.
I turned to look at you to thank you for walking me to school, but you were already gone. I looked up and down the hallways for you, but could not find you anywhere.
Boy, you were a very fast walker…
* ~ * ~ *
I saw you walking to school, and I knew that you were very frightened to be walking alone. It was no accident that you bumped into Me walking. I placed Myself in your path so that you would have to notice Me there. I purposely made sure that our paths would cross.
I knew you long before that day that our paths crossed for the very first time, and for Me, it was love at first sight. Actually it was more than love at first sight only because to Me, it was - and is, so much more than that.
When you first looked up at Me, your eyes grew so big from the suddenness of My appearance. I did not mean to startle you, but I knew that the moment that I looked at you and smiled that you would instantly relax.
I knew your thoughts as we were walking, even though you, yourself, cannot remember them. It was then that I started quietly whistling a song to you. One that only I know the tune of.
You did not know it at the time, but that was My love song for you. It still is. And it is only for you, and nobody else. I composed it Myself with only you in mind, and I knew that when you heard it that you would never forget it.
It became My signature ‘calling card’ throughout your life. You did not know it then, but that song would be played in your mind every time that I was there with you.
When we got to the school, I told you that you would be taken care of, and I knew that you would be fine. You did not see Me leave your side, because I never did. You just never saw Me there. Nobody did.
I saw you look up and down the hallway for Me, and I pulled closer to you so that you were comfortable enough to be brought to your classroom by the secretary.
And then we walked to your classroom, where I spent the day with you on your very first day of school. I couldn’t believe that you had grown so quickly and were in school already.
And so I just sat and watched you all day long with tears in My eyes at how much My baby had grown…
* ~ * ~ *
I walked alongside the secretary to my classroom and I quickly sat down in my appointed chair. School was such a new thing to me, and even though I had butterflies in my stomach when I was walking down the hallway towards my classroom, I somehow knew that I would be okay once that I got there.
We didn’t do much that first day, just spent all of our time learning about what we would be doing in kindergarten. I started to relax. I thought that with all of the other children there that it would actually not be as scary as I thought that it would be.
I looked around the room in amazement at all of the new things that I had never seen before, and listened to the teacher explain what they all were and how they were used. The day ended before I knew it. It seemed as though it just flew by.
Suddenly I began to panic again at the thought of having to find my way home by myself again. I looked around the room desperately, not even sure of what it was that I was really even looking for to begin with.
I felt a huge lump begin to form in my throat, and I could feel the tears begin to well up within my eyes, threatening to spill down my cheeks at any moment.
Suddenly I heard my name being called. The voice sounded familiar, and I followed it to the doorway of my classroom. Relief immediately came over me when I realized that it was one of my older sisters there.
She informed me that she was there to walk me home from school. I became so overjoyed inside at the realization that I would not have to walk home on my own again. I quickly ran and grabbed my sister’s hand and began our walk home.
Suddenly there you were again…
* ~ * ~ *
You ran and caught up with my sister and me. We didn’t say anything to each other; we just walked side by side down the sidewalk toward home. You started whistling softly again, that same tune that you were whistling earlier that morning as you walked me to school.
After a few minutes you stopped whistling, let out a sigh, and took my hand in yours. Oh, no! What would my sister think about a total stranger holding my hand on the way home from school?
Well, so much for that worry. I glanced over at my sister, and she was just looking straight ahead of her at the road. She didn’t seem to even notice that you were holding my hand, nor did she seem to mind at all.
I was then convinced that you had to be a friend of hers, somebody that she knew. Otherwise there was no way that she would have let you get away with that one!
Then you spoke to me again. “So, you had a good day at school!” you said. It was more of a statement than a question, and so I just looked at you and smiled. You smiled back at me with that most beautiful smile of yours.
We just about finally reached the house where I lived, and it amazed me that you must live close by us, as you had walked all the way with us without having to turn off of the road to your own house.
We turned to walk into the cul-de-sac where I lived and you stopped there, let go of my hand and said, “I will be waiting here for you tomorrow to walk to school with you again.”
I waved goodbye to you, although at that time it never dawned on me to wonder why my sister didn’t say anything to you or about you. But then again, it wasn’t unusual for my sister to be ‘off in her own little world’.
After all, she was much older than I was, and had other things on her mind…
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
I couldn’t wait for school to end so that I could just bask in the complete happiness that I had in knowing that your first day of school went so well.
You never knew it, but I placed it within your sister’s heart to go to your classroom and offer to walk home with you. Yes, it was I that prompted
her to go. You see, I have this need to take good care of you.
I wanted to hold your hand while we walked home because I just became so overwhelmed with love for you that I couldn’t help but do otherwise. I loved walking with you, gently whistling My love forth for you to hear.
It was My desire for you to know that I was there for you again, and that it is My intention to always be there for you.
I loved just to be able to spend that time with you walking, especially being it was your first day of school. It was something that I had to do.
And you will understand this at a later time when I fully reveal Myself to you. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
And so we meet again tomorrow…
* ~ * ~ *
I could not believe that all of a sudden half of the school year had gone by already. Where did it go? Those were my thoughts on that day as I walked to school. Here already it was almost the end of my very first school year in kindergarten.
I hurried down the street towards the school, as I was anxious to get there. I wanted to find out exactly what it was that our teacher told us would be the ‘special project’ for that day.
I almost ended up running down the hallway to my classroom. I quickly got there and sat down in my chair and patiently waited for all of the other children to arrive so that we could begin class.
Finally they were all there, and then the teacher explained our ‘special project’ to us. We would be looking at profiles of everyone in our class that she had made out of black construction paper, and then it would be displayed on the over-head projector and the rest of the class had to guess who it was just by their profile.
I was thrilled that we had such a fun game to play! I watched as the teacher displayed person after person on the projector, and we all would yell out who we thought that it was. We laughed a lot at some of the answers, because one of the boys in class mistook a girl for a boy in one guess. Oh, how I was having such fun!
Suddenly, my profile appeared, and I sucked in my breath and held it because I was suddenly nervous at seeing myself up there in front of everybody.
Then out of nowhere a boy somewhere in my class blurted out that everyone should know who that profile belonged to! He pointed out rather loudly that it was me, and made another comment about how nobody could miss hair like mine.
He was referring to my massive set of curls that stuck to the top of my head in one big curly mop. I burst into tears. I didn’t like being teased, and my feelings were crushed.
I felt as though this boy was making fun of me. I suddenly felt every eye in the classroom on me, and then the whispering started. I felt ruined.
The teacher finally got everyone quieted down, and came over to me and held me. She ran her fingers through my curls and told the class that she thought that I had the most beautiful set of curls that she had ever seen!
That really quieted the other children down, and it made me feel a lot better than I did five minutes before that!
Finally the bell rang, and at last it was time to go home. Even though my sister was not there that day to walk me home, I still hurried out of the building to get away from my classmates. I was kind of feeling glad that day that school was over so quickly…
* ~ * ~ *
You came running up behind me the moment that I was out of the building. You caught up to me and as usual, you took my hand in yours as we continued our walk. Both of us were quiet for a long time.
Finally, you broke the silence. “You look like you’re kind of sad today.” Again, you said this as though it were just more of a statement and didn’t really expect an answer back from me.
I quickly turned my head away from you, because I was afraid that you would see the tears that were still stinging my eyes and threatening to pour down my face at any moment.
“I’m tired today,” I answered you. I kept my head down then because I knew that if I looked at you and saw those eyes of yours, that I would start crying and probably not stop. I didn’t want you to think that I was a big baby. After all, I was a ‘big girl’ in kindergarten now!
You squeezed my hand a little tighter in yours, but said nothing. Then you rubbed my hand with your thumb the way that my dad sometimes would when he was holding my hand, and once again I thought about how much you were really more like a grown-up than a kid, like me.
And then just as quickly as that thought was there, it was gone…
* ~ * ~ *
Oh, how My heart cried with yours today when your feelings were so hurt.
You never knew it, but those were MY tears also that you had shed. I felt your pain, and it was then that I entered into your teachers heart.
Those were MY arms that she put around you to comfort you and to hold you with. Those were MY fingers that she ran through your hair.
And most important of all, those were MY thoughts that poured forth from her lips, and those were MY words that spoke to you through her voice when I told you that you have the most beautiful set of curls that I have ever seen.
I meant every word that I spoke to you today, and spoke it with every last bit of My love that I feel for you.
I knew when we were walking home that you were trying so hard not to cry in front of Me. Oh, how I longed to reveal all of Me to you right then and there, but I held back. It was not yet the time.
But know this much, My love; I would never think that you were a ‘baby’ for pouring your feelings out to Me in the form of tears. I would never think that because you ARE My baby, and it is something that you have yet to learn.
I knew your embarrassment at almost being discovered with your guard down, and it pained Me so to see you hiding your feelings already at the tender age of only five years old.
I would have gladly let you cry in My arms as I took the pain from you. I would have replaced it with joy, instead.
But still, it was not yet time…
* ~ * ~ *
Back to the Present
I was crying uncontrollably as I snuggled on the couch with my head on the Lord’s shoulder. What He had just shown me had touched me so profoundly that I couldn’t help but weep.
What He had just shown me was so pure; it was such truth, knowing that He was, indeed, always there with me even from such a young age on.
The moment that the scenes began to play out, I remembered each and every one of them so vividly that it was as though I was actually re-living that very moment all over again.
I briefly thought of how many times that the Lord must have been there even before these moments. I thought again of how we had been studying the book of Jeremiah, and could picture myself as a fetus in the womb and the Lord keeping an ever watchful eye on me as I developed into the baby that He specifically chose to be born at a specific time, on a specific date that only He knew of.
I then thought about my life from that point on, and how hard that it had been, mostly by my own doing. I thought of the good, the bad, and the ugly, and could now see more clearly where He had been in all of that, and the fact that He did always have His hand upon my life.
“There was not one moment in your life that I was not there,” the Lord quietly told me. “Even during those times of darkness when you felt so alone, when you felt so unloved, when you felt so unworthy, I was there with you, even though you, yourself could not see Me. Even during those times that you were so happy and had good reason to rejoice, I was there as well, rejoicing right along with you.
I have never left your side, and I never will. This is something that you need to learn of Me. Even while those in your life had given up on you, had abandoned you, I will never give up on you or abandon you. I love you far too much to do so,” He finished telling me.
I was beside myself with the intense love that I now felt pouring out of the Lord. It was as though I was no longer in my living room, but rather was somewhere else with Him, a secret place that only Him and I knew of. I wanted to stay there forever.
I now felt even more closer to the Lord than I had before. When I was with Him, nothing else around me mattered. I lost all feeling of anything that was worldly, and gained a feeling of all things Heavenly.
I felt as though I were no longer a part of this world, but rather had literally become a part of Him, a part of the Glory of the Living God.
After a few more minutes, I was finally able to find the words to speak. “What You had just shown me was so beautiful that I will remember it for the rest of my life,” I told Him as I leaned up and kissed Him on His cheek. “How is it that I was so blessed to have You in my life? How is it that I am so blessed to be able to spend the rest of eternity with You like this?” I asked Him.
His only response was the kiss that I felt Him give to me on my forehead where my hairline is at the top of my head.
No words were needed. His butterfly kisses said it all...