||D. James Cooper
||April 13, 2005
Barnes & Noble.com
Books a Million
Abuse Breeds Abuse
This is a personal viewing of my life and how the forms of abuse that I experienced lead me to the use of drugs, alcohol and destruction for many years. I believe there are many people who are going through life not knowing who they are and where they belong because of the state of mind abuse puts you in, and entangles you to keep you from moving forward in your life.
There isn't enough help out there, if any, for people who go through the darkness of abuse which can lead to the destruction of yourself, family and friends around you in many cases. God helped me out of my darkness and destruction, but everyone won't have the same escape route. I was fortunate enough to have been given a reason to survive and move forward, but it was only through that powerful presence of Him that kept me alive.
Perpetrators come in many forms in abuse. Some are parents, family members and friends. Some know what they're doing because they feel they're doing what's right in the form of punishment, and some do it because they are part of the generation of abused that has been recycled from the lack of help and education.
Everyone don't have a higher power to turn to in the time of depression, nor do some abused have anyone at all, so they turn to whatever helps them to escape the pain (ie. drugs, alcohol, prostitution, death) and some are so confused in life that they go through life lost either forever or until someone, something in life turns them around.
I hope my book touches some people to make a difference in realizing the signs and make some changes and get help for themselves or for someone around them that is being abused. Some abused people need someone to speak for them because of being scared or intimidated by the perpetrator.
1 John 1:5-7 This is the message He has given us to announce to you. God is light and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness. We are not living in the truth. But if we are living in the light of God's presence, just as Christ is, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his son, cleanses us from every sin.
I first set out to write about abuse and how it can lead to more abuse from generation to generation. I wanted to be able to possibly write something that would help someone who was being abused, or someone who feels they can be an abuser.
My story shows how abuse can lead to self-destruction and without help, the destruction of others.
I feel favorable to have been saved early in my life because God gave me the will power to not take drugs and alcohol to an extreme.
I do feel I was overboard at times and heading toward a dangerous lifestyle. As I started writing I was lead to give the book some spiritual meaning. God was my foundation, and that helped me out of many situations because I believed and had faith.
Communication is the key to not getting to the point of being hurt or hurting someone. If you are being disciplined in any manner that doesn't appear right, then you must reveal it to someone. If you are beating your child to the point they are bruised or bloody then you need help before you go to an extreme.
If you are talking down to your child and lowering their self-esteem then you need help too. It's not bright to empower your child to be great when you have nothing great to say to them. They will learn and believe from everything you say and do, and pass it on. Another form of abuse is not being there for your children. Feeling you have given them everything they need, when what they really want and need is for you to be there for them.
Parents are too busy to be there for what's important in the child's life. They'll find someone who cares and most likely it will be someone who will use them and steer them in the wrong direction. I understand that everyone won't be able to look with an eye to God to help him or her through because of different beliefs, but someone is better than anyone, and He is better than no one. Whatever your spiritual beliefs might be, look toward someone in your surroundings who can help you through your darkness.
This story is of a young boy who had many trials and tribulations growing up as an only child. The story is important for young people as well as the parents in hopes to show the need of guidence and understanding from parent to child. Babies need love and attention from the beginning from both parents while their growing in the womb to ensure them a safe place while on their nine-month journey into the world. That's where their sense of security begins for them with you talking, singing, playing music and touching.
Children need help and guidance from both parents while growing up so they don't feel abandoned. Life can be an eternal light and many parents are setting their children up to be in eternal darkness. There are more depressed kids today than any time in history.
Kids are turning to drugs, prostitution, alternative lifestyles and suicide because of feeling neglected growing up. Parents need to be parents, and not children trying to be parents who are not ready for the responsibility of raising a child. Having children means you have to grow up regardless of whether it's one parent or two. One or both parents will need to step up and remind themselves that this child is a blessing from God and it's their job to protect them. When a child is brought into this world it becomes all about the child. The days of wine and roses are over and the focus is the child. The child should be the reason for everything you do from that point, and everything should be done in a positive way.
The world is like a game that can set you up for failure and you have to be strong enough to survive the game. So why set yourself up to lose by taking on something that you're not ready for, because in the end nobody wins. If you want to fail in your game of life, fine, but why take your children through it with you. Everyone has a purpose, find yours before trying to take on something you can't handle.
Simply Stated: Impacting
It's upfront, frank and healing for all who read this story. I like the fact that he offers sound advice and it's Bible-based, back up by scriptures. The ability to forgive is the key for healing the hurting soul. This author let's go of his past, the pain and bitterness. He is compelled to write a moving book that impacts, empower, inspire, and motivates the reader. His voice echoes to everyone who has been abused and to the abuser that the acceptable behavior is no longer acceptable nor should it ever have been. Steel-tempered by fire of lessons to be learned, he developed an unmoveable, unshakeable spirit through faith, integrity, love, forgiveness, and patience. If you've ever suffered at the hands of abuse, you will immediately identify with this book and author. I did. Tissues please, for such a candid story, but much needed and should be heeded.
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