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Jacqueline Pansy

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Member Since: Jan, 2010

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Menopausalgodzilla
by Jacqueline Pansy   

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Category: 

Humor

Publisher:  Amazon Kindle Book

Copyright:  2010 by Jacqueline Pansy

Jacqueline Pansy Author Illustrator

“Jacqueline, you’re a FREAKIN GENIUS!!!!!!!!!! I laughed so hard!!!! BRILLANT!!! SERIOUSLY GOOD!!!!! I just can’t tell you how good it is. Congratulations. I feel like it’s a war cry for all women over 40 to have fun with it. I can’t wait to share it with all my friends.”
Tamea Smith Flight attendant for Southwest Airlines

“Menopausalgodzilla” is a hysterical look at menopause for adults. Laugh out loud as Jacqueline Pansy takes you on a journey through Menopause describing life after 40! Jacqueline tells it like it is right down to leaking every time you laugh, cough or sneeze. Jacqueline uses Quirky and zany humor to describe the trials and tribulations of menopause, along with offering insane suggestions on how to work through all the changes attributed to menopause. I am absolutely positive you will find yourself laughing out loud and saying; “Oh My God….I can so relate!!”

 

 
 

 
Excerpt
“Good morning my little Menopausalgodzilla!” That is what my loving
husband says first thing in the morning. You think this is funny honey? Here’s you’re fishing pole, Leave! Go fishing! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Don’t look back. Just go! Get out of my face! As if making fun of my overwhelmingly, frustrating, and utterly debilitating state is not enough for him first thing in the morning, my husband then has the audacity to ask me to fix him a lunch!

I. Don’t. Think. So.

I tell him that he knows where the Colonel lives. As my Mr. Macho,
he-man, a man’s man leaves, the flood gates open and a torrent of water runs
down my face and leaves in its wake a trail of mascara that really does make me look like Menopausalgodzilla. Where on earth did all those tears come from and why? I start to laugh hysterically because I have no idea why I’m crying and looking at my pitiful self in the mirror. It’s really quite funny, and then it happens….a warm feeling goes cruising down my legs, oh for crying out-loud! Every time I laugh, cough or sneeze I leak! Did I mention that my traitorous body is beginning to droop, my hair is turning grey, I’m gaining weight even though I starve myself, and where in the heck did those wrinkles come from? Why God, why? Why not give this to man?

Then I remember that even one day of the sniffles and a little cough has
my husband crying like a baby. There is no way on Gods little green earth that a man could handle menopause. He can’t even handle me on menopause! Come to think of it, I can barely handle myself. Especially when one of those earth shattering hot flashes hit! Those hot flashes that start at the center of my body, blossoming into a full fledge atomic blast resulting in profuse sweating that what my leaking didn’t get wet my profuse sweating does by leaving every other part of my body drenched to the point of looking and feeling like a drowned rat!



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