AuthorsDen.com   Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Patricia Sanders, iRoger Vizi, iP Lewis, iIan Irvine (Hobson), iM. Andrew Sprong, iSteve Coltman, iAlan Cook, i

  Home > Humor > Books Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Jacqueline Pansy

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Books
· News
· 4 Titles
· Add to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Jan, 2010

Jacqueline Pansy, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
Through the Wildwood - Legend of Vanx Malic Book I
by M. R. Mathias

A half-zythian bard gets caught up in an affair with the Duchess of Highlake. The Duke wants him dead and our hero is forced to flee through a forest that no one has eve..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Featured Book
The Golden Staff Saga: The Pillar of Light
by Christina Neely

The four gems have been stolen and Elena an ordinary girl from Earth must embark on a quest to find the gems and save El-Tepora...  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members



Menopausalgodzilla
by Jacqueline Pansy   

Share this with your friends on FaceBook
Books by Jacqueline Pansy
· Blaize and Zandia's Revenge
· Shredder Ate My Tail
· A Dragons Tooth
                >> View all

Category: 

Humor

Publisher:  Amazon Kindle Book

Copyright:  2010 by Jacqueline Pansy

“Jacqueline, you’re a FREAKIN GENIUS!!!!!!!!!! I laughed so hard!!!! BRILLANT!!! SERIOUSLY GOOD!!!!! I just can’t tell you how good it is. Congratulations. I feel like it’s a war cry for all women over 40 to have fun with it. I can’t wait to share it with all my friends.”
Tamea Smith Flight attendant for Southwest Airlines

Jacqueline Pansy Author Illustrator

“Menopausalgodzilla” is a hysterical look at menopause for adults. Laugh out loud as Jacqueline Pansy takes you on a journey through Menopause describing life after 40! Jacqueline tells it like it is right down to leaking every time you laugh, cough or sneeze. Jacqueline uses Quirky and zany humor to describe the trials and tribulations of menopause, along with offering insane suggestions on how to work through all the changes attributed to menopause. I am absolutely positive you will find yourself laughing out loud and saying; “Oh My God….I can so relate!!”

 

 
 

 


Excerpt

“Good morning my little Menopausalgodzilla!” That is what my loving
husband says first thing in the morning. You think this is funny honey? Here’s you’re fishing pole, Leave! Go fishing! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Don’t look back. Just go! Get out of my face! As if making fun of my overwhelmingly, frustrating, and utterly debilitating state is not enough for him first thing in the morning, my husband then has the audacity to ask me to fix him a lunch!

I. Don’t. Think. So.

I tell him that he knows where the Colonel lives. As my Mr. Macho,
he-man, a man’s man leaves, the flood gates open and a torrent of water runs
down my face and leaves in its wake a trail of mascara that really does make me look like Menopausalgodzilla. Where on earth did all those tears come from and why? I start to laugh hysterically because I have no idea why I’m crying and looking at my pitiful self in the mirror. It’s really quite funny, and then it happens….a warm feeling goes cruising down my legs, oh for crying out-loud! Every time I laugh, cough or sneeze I leak! Did I mention that my traitorous body is beginning to droop, my hair is turning grey, I’m gaining weight even though I starve myself, and where in the heck did those wrinkles come from? Why God, why? Why not give this to man?

Then I remember that even one day of the sniffles and a little cough has
my husband crying like a baby. There is no way on Gods little green earth that a man could handle menopause. He can’t even handle me on menopause! Come to think of it, I can barely handle myself. Especially when one of those earth shattering hot flashes hit! Those hot flashes that start at the center of my body, blossoming into a full fledge atomic blast resulting in profuse sweating that what my leaking didn’t get wet my profuse sweating does by leaving every other part of my body drenched to the point of looking and feeling like a drowned rat!





Want to review or comment on this book?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!





Featured Book
Living With The Dying
by Jennifer Miller

A touching, loving and spirtual insight of the dying process, filled with peace, smiles and starting on their journey, taking me with them as far as I could go, returning..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Featured Book
Pumpkin Hill
by David Seaburn

Six people's lives are changed forever by the startling events that occur at a rural crossroads named Pumpkin Hill...  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members




Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.