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Maura Stone

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Member Since: Feb, 2010

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Five-Star FLEECING
by Maura Stone   

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Category: 

Humor

Publisher:  createspace ISBN-10:  1449932290 Type: 
Pages: 

320

Copyright:  November 2009 ISBN-13:  9781449932299
Fiction

Five-Star FLEECING makes top Kindle downloads, #3 in comedy & #6 in literary fiction. And this is why!

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MauraStone.com

The Definitive Comedy:

FIVE–STAR FLEECING

 

From Cult Comedy to Mainstream ~~

* Winner of the 2011 National Indie Excellence Award in Comedy!

* Raves #1 book reviewer—“Superb Scathing Satire of Business” with 5-Star Rating

*Applauded by Midwest Book Review with 5 Stars: "humorous delve into the underworld of class, highly recommended!"

*"A satisfying and rewarding read," Writers Digest 2011 

*Howard Stern, King of all Media stated “Any novel with … I’m gonna read!”

*"A promising new star in the literary world," Queens Gazette 6/2010

*Featured book in Manhattanstyle.com

*Hailed as the new “Devil Wears Prada” only wickedly funnier

*Nominated as top 20% of breakthrough novels for 2009 by amazon.com

*Endorsed by best-selling author, Barbara Taylor Bradford

*Stopped with a Cease & Desist order … by unrelated third party!

  

Five–Star FLEECING is an adult–themed comedy concerning corporate theft as witnessed through the eyes of Linda Lane, a naive yet ambitious New Yorker. Almost Feydeau–esque in nature, Five–Star FLEECING mixes it all up—hotel guests, pampered celebrities, paparazzi, duplicity, crazed and incompetent coworkers, bad karma—and spins completely out of control. Without a doubt, you will find Five–Star FLEECING a hilarious escape.

For more excerpts:MauraStone.com & to purchase:

http://www.amazon.com/Five-Star-FLEECING-Maura-Stone/dp/1449932290

On Google books as well:  http://bit.ly/bTkG0w


Excerpt

It was the start of another work week. While I shoveled the papers on my desk, Doreen dashed into Mr. Ganiff’s office, out of breath. I didn’t bother to try and stop her. I did, though, waltz in moments later as I wanted to see what the commotion was all about.
“Mithter Ganiff! You gotta hear thith one! That Theebok, he’th done it again!” She giggled uncontrollably.
Ganiff lifted his head from his Daily Post and smiled. “Miss Doreen, what a pleasure. Who did what again?”
Before she could compose herself sufficiently to respond, Doreen was knocked aside by Selena, tears of laughter streaming down her cheeks.
“Hello there, Selena. Now, ladies, please tell me. What is it?”
Both women exchanged glances, then doubled over in mirth.
“Mithter Ganiff, you jutht have to lithten to thith.”
Doreen picked up the phone, dialed a few numbers and placed the receiver against his ear.
Ganiff’s good eye widened. Then, a smile like a beacon swept across his face from chin to upper proboscis. “What in the world—”
“Theebok,” Doreen tried to explain between bouts of whooping gales of laughter that she could no longer suppress, “he wath tethting out hith new voithe mail thythtem. The one he’th been talking about for monthth.”
“Yeah, I know the one.” Ganiff nodded, fighting off a smile. “The system with call forwarding, three way calling,” he chuckled, “oh, and that hook–up to the MIR satellite.” Now he dissembled; he barked and snorted in glee.
The struggle not to laugh was a foregone conclusion. Their laughter was contagious and I found myself giggling like the village idiot without even understanding the underlying cause.
I should note here that Standard atelier guests were oftentimes used as guinea pigs for the testing of new hotel equipment without their consent nor knowledge. In this case, they were subjected to Seebok’s new telephone and voicemail system. The feedback received from those irate guests was disheartening. I knew that this new venture was a failure. Atrocious. Similar to the new televisions, barely functional.
But that didn’t deter Seebok. Not when a particular vendor paying for a one– year lease on a brand new BMW was at stake. Another little tidbit I picked up from Trish, his assistant.
“Hey, give that back to me!” With good humor, Ganiff grabbed the receiver from Doreen’s hand and placed it back on the console. He could no longer restrain himself. Emanating from the man’s mouth was the honking, hooting and cackling that bore his distinctive trademark. A semblance of laughter that up till now I had not been privy. “Hallelujah! Now we know what Seebok’s been doing all these weeks. No wonder the jerk’s always missing in action.”



Professional Reviews

Superb Scathing Satire of the Hospitality Business
***** 5 Stars
Posted February 8, 2010, 4:50 PM EST: In 1995 after losing her legal position at a firm doing questionable practices, Linda Lane obtains a job as assistant resident manager at the Manhattan luxurious Supreme Superior Hotel. Her boss Herr Ganiff explains the rules of working at a five-star hotel and assigns her to work up a plan on how to keep their high rollers happy while also bringing in some middle income. However, Linda observes all sorts of questionable practices at the hotel owned in absentia by a Japanese trio. In fact, she sees theft, poor handling of guests and a management team that takes care of itself exclusively. As she tries to ignore what she observes, Linda thinks of her father who told her to never back down from an ethics scenario as she did as a lawyer. This is a superb scathing satire of the hospitality business at a time when Wall St. is in the news with Too Big To Fail bonuses to many of those who failed. The cast is eccentric and over the top of the Empire State Building with me-me attitudes that stun idealistic newcomer Linda Lane who cannot understand the philosophy that the guest must not get in the way of bonuses. Maura Stone provides a well written tale of avarice, American style of capitalism. Harriet Klausner


5.0 out of 5 stars A humorous delve into the underworld of class, highly recommended, April 3, 2010

5.0 out of 5 stars A humorous delve into the underworld of class, highly recommended, April 3, 2010
By Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA)

Even the classiest isn't immune from the lowest common denominator. "Five-Star Fleecing" looks into the life of Linda Lane, as she embraces her new career as manager of the Supreme Superior, a five star New York City hotel. But her classy career is not what it's cracked up to be as she soon finds herself again associating with criminals. Presented as a dark comedy, "Five-Star Fleecing" is a humorous delve into the underworld of class, highly recommended.



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