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Gustavo White

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Gasboy
by Gustavo White   

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Books by Gustavo White
· Nuts
· Daddy's Girl Vignette
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Category: 

Humor



He just can't hold it in



               INT. FINAL CUT PRO SUITE - DAY

               PROFESSOR MEANASS is teaching the class when someone gets up. 

                                   PROFESSOER MEANASS
                         Where are you going?

                                   STUDENT #1
                         I'm going to the bathroom.

               The student leaves.  After a while, the student comes back
               and another is leaving.

                                   PROFESSOER MEANASS
                         Now, where are you going?

                                   STUDENT #2
                         I have a meeting with Financial
                         Aid.

               Student #2 leaves.  Professor Meanass has had enough.  He
               goes to the door and locks the door.

                                   PROFESSOER MEANASS
                         No one is to leave this room for
                         anything.

               DAVID is standing up and walking over to the garbage can.  He
               crumbles up a taco Bell bag and tosses it in the garbage.  He
               then goes to his seat and sits down  David begins fidgeting.
               He looks like he has a bad case of gas, damn Taco Bell.
               David gets up and tries to go to the door.

                                   PROFESSOER MEANASS
                         Get back to your seat!  You cannot
                         leave!

                                   DAVID
                         But...but...

                                   PROFESSOER MEANASS
                         No buts, back to your seat, now!

               David goes back to his seat defeated.  He starts to fidget
               even more.  LAURA, sitting next to David starts to smell
               something.  She looks over at David and skins up her nose.
               She then moves her chair over.  Student #1, sitting on the
               other side, moves his chair over as well.  The fumes reach
               Professor Meanass and he skins up his nose and continues to
               teach.

                                   PROFESSOER MEANASS
                         When you edit the Anatole video,
                         you have to show the ship
                         stinking...I mean sinking.

               Other students in the class pick up on the fumes and everyone
               starts to move away from David.  David looks around and seems
               to be visually apologizing to everyone.  Professor Meanass
               continues.

                                   PROFESSOER MEANASS
                         You see the fart...art of editing
                         is to have enough coverage to edit.

               Professor Meanass has had enough, he goes over to the door
               and unlocks it.

                                   PROFESSOER MEANASS
                         If you have to go, GO!

               Everyone leaves the room, doing the doodoo dance, and farting
               on their way out.





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