A short e-book to help you through your divorce/breakup.
Price: $3.99 (eBook)
Download to your Kindle (eBook)
BREAKUP and BreakupAid
My e-book offers you important lessons I learned from my own divorce and my path to recovery.
BreakupAid focuses on problems you are likely to encounter in the course of a divorce/breakup/separation and contains a range of aids to help you deal with your situation, to give you more control over events and to assist you to move on.
There are lots of practical suggestions for coping with a breakup and for easing the pain. An Appendix lists useful links (live URLs) to divorce-related organizations and people.
4. Letting Go
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” – Herman Hesse
“You only lose what you cling to.” – Buddha
The words “let go” ring in our ears when we are going through a divorce precisely because letting go is what we find so difficult. It is a mammoth task to give up a relationship, a family, friends and a way of life when what lies ahead is so uncertain. People going through divorce tend to cling desperately to what they had and knew, although what is required is the exact opposite—to let go.
While I was going through my divorce, I was helped by a map analogy. I imagined I had been pushed out of a plane and had landed, at the age of forty-seven, in an unexpected situation. It was strange and bewildering. My instinct was to get out my old map but in my new situation my map was absolutely useless and my compass gave a false reading. What I needed to do first was to get my bearings, to recognize that I was in uncharted territory, no longer party to the family dynamic that used to exist. A new map and compass were required. It took me time to accept that only when I put the whole edifice of my marriage behind me—let it go—could I begin to chart a new course.
In the case of divorce it is not just a mind-set that you have to let go, it’s everything: your past, your expectations, your plans for the future, your concept of family, the image you have of yourself, your routines and habits.