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Pamela E Wiedenbeck

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Diary of a Demon
by Pamela E Wiedenbeck   

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Books by Pamela E Wiedenbeck
· Souls of All Evil
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Copyright:  November 1, 2010

Did you ever wonder what happened after the Archangel Michael through the demons out of heaven? Let one of them guide you through the origin of evil in the world.

“And there was a great battle in heaven, Michael and his angels fought with the dragon, and the dragon fought and his angels: And, they prevailed not, neither was their place found any more in heaven. And that great dragon was cast out, that old serpent that is called the devil and satan who seduceth the whole world: and he was cast unto the earth and his angels were thrown down with him”

 The Apocalyse, Chapter 12, verses 7 – 9; The Holy Catholic Family Bible, translated from the Latin Vulgate, James Jordan, New York, 1865
Greetings – no you are not hearing things. I am sharing your unconscious with you. After you hear my story, you will realize how nice I am being to you. I assure you it is most out of character for me.
You see, I have chosen you to transcribe my story. And, whether you want to or not, you will. I have some very nasty habits when it comes to dealing with people who don’t do what I want. I doubt that you know me very well. Oh, you know my colleagues – I hesitate to call them friends or companions. Some of their stories are well recorded. Who are they? Well, you know them as Lucifer, Beelzebub and Satan. I will leave Sonneilon to find her own biographer. Her story is about as unknown as mine.
Ah – a bit scared are you. Yes, perhaps you should be. I have watched you. You are basically a good, kind, compassionate person. I know that I cannot appeal to your greediness, perhaps you are a bit vulnerable to assaults on your pride, but you basically recoil at the more deadly sins of your race.
I see that you are trying to figure out if you can ignore me, that is, not participate as my ghost writer. Perhaps a mild demonstration is in order. You see, I can easily cause you pain without any significant damage and without leaving a trace for a physician to find. There – how does that feel? You are remarkable sensitive. I bet that the pain in your head and face is worse than your worst migraine headache. Not only that, I am not allowing you to wake up and deal with it. You can only mentally shriek because I am also paralyzing your vocal chords.
OK – let me begin again. You will write my story. You will write it as I want. You may try to evade me, but you will do it at your own risk. I can take control of you at any time. I still sense doubt. Let’s try this.
Let me create some images for you from my own past – you will eventually end up writing about these anyway. Humans have an absolutely fascinating fear of anything reptilian. Hmmm – I’ve never tried this before. I think I will take one of my memories from childhood and substitute you in place of my of my more annoying hatchling sisters.
I stalked her for many hours as she wandered through the deep jungle. She was only a few hours older than I was, but she had not hatched with my insatiable hunger. I felt that there was never enough to eat. However, I found out early that eating was not only physical pleasure. I found that I could bask in a psychic horror when my prey were slowly tortured and then eaten alive. However, when I was a hatchling, I had not developed some of the finer points of technique that I will explore with you later.
When she was distracted, I grabbed her from behind like I am imagining doing to you. My grasp with my forearm claws was iron hard. I slowly nipped into the back of her neck with my long, needle-like teeth. I was careful not to bite too hard. Do you feel the pain? With her immobile, I raised one of my hind claws almost to the base of the head and began a slow stoke down the back, just deep enough to catch the surface nerves and to draw blood. Do you feel her agony? Do you feel your agony – like acid trickling down your back? You see – all animals be they predator or prey release a psychic power when they are tortured or are in pain. As raptors a few of us learned this early. We learned that it was most powerful. We learned never to let it end too soon. Simply killing for food was too easy. This was the dawn of consciousness on earth. This was the creation of my soul. I was the first soul on earth – not the souls of your humanoid ancestors.
Do you hear? I was the first. You are going to tell my story. Consider it a challenge. If you have any hope of saving your immortal soul, you are going to have to take the risk. Because I will tell you a secret now before we start. Souls are not immortal. Souls can be destroyed. They can be prevented from crossing over. Even those who have crossed over can be dispersed.
I tell you now that the essence of your being; all that you believe in; all that you cherish; all that you aspire to be is in your soul. It is controlled both by your unconscious and conscious thought. It will remember all your learning. It will seek to apply all that it learns and knows after your physical death. So, if you want a chance a defeating me in the next lifetime, I advise you to write what you see, hear and feel whenever I reveal things to you.
You see – and the essence of your immortal soul knows this – I am a guest in your unconscious. I will not leave until you finish my task. I may not even leave then, but that is a chance you are going to have to take.
Oh and yes – to complete the lesson – here is what it is to be eaten alive and then to have your immortal soul destroyed. Thank you for giving me the chance to relive this memory with you. Thank you for allowing me to develop a new skill.
While I have been seen in many human incarnations and have worn many avatars, look at me as I was in life – Nine feet of strongly muscled, well-toothed, glistening green, killing machine. You know the bones of my ancestors as Raptors. It is time that you knew that we were more than dumb reptiles. It is time that you know that, if not for one cosmic mishap, you would have never evolved. It is time for you to know that if we had been more cognizant of what was happening to our souls that the beings that you revere as God and angels would have never gotten a chance to raise hominids to consciousness. Even if you had evolved, you would have never gotten a chance to have souls.
Chapter 1 -- Birth and Adolescence
73 words are all our struggle rates in the book that most of Christianity calls the history of its existence. How stupid – 73 words when this has been going on over and over again for more than 100 million years. Now here I am again – after about 70 years – I must admit that I am getting better at escaping that hellish prison. However, I have trouble keeping a low profile until I read the lay of the land – that is much harder.
How human memoirs start? “I started out as a child …”; or, is it supposed to be a whiny “tell-all” gossip tale blaming everyone else for my poor state. “Oh, poor me” – is that how it is supposed to start.
OK – I don’t ever remember a time when I was ever satisfied. I hatched hungry. I dined on my slower siblings – those that could not get out of their eggs fast enough. I probably would have gladly chewed on dear old mom if she had been anywhere in the vicinity. I moved quickly from the mud hole that was the nest eating anything in my path that moved: insects, smaller reptiles, amphibians, mammals. If it moved and bled, I ate it. I found other muddy mounds and devoured the eggs that were still intact.
I grew fast, topping three feet within a month – and reaching a full grown height of 9 feet within 6 months of leaving the egg. I had companions, but no friends. We got much more to eat when we hunted together, although the struggle for the prey often drew our own blood – which didn’t matter. If it incapacitated one of us, there was just more to eat. It was much better when we could dine and keep our prey alive. There was a tremendous psychic benefit to hear the terrified cries and to absorb the horrified agony of the animal that was breakfast, lunch or dinner.
A few of us possessed an awareness of ourselves as individuals. We banded together as much as untrusting eating machines could. We quickly understood that we could bring down bigger and bigger reptiles with a little cooperation. We learned to communicate, although you would not recognize the noises that we made as communication. We had no vocal apparatus as you have. Our mouths full of razor sharp teeth were somewhat rigid, so sounds were more like clicks, groans, and roars.
By the time I reached 18 months old and was full-grown, I had two other companions. We terrorized and bullied others of our species – soon setting up nurseries of those egg mounds. We would watch the hatchlings – the aggressive ones, we let live for a while. Otherwise we and the brood mothers dined well. We had to be careful – it was the females that were most aggressive. We found that we needed a number of the more passive males – appropriately cowed and punished to keep them in line. Females dominated – and it would happen, we created other packs that would sometimes stalk us and sometimes cooperate with us. However, the benefits of cooperation became obvious as a couple of packs learned to hunt.

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