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Hank Quense

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Tales From Gundarland
by Hank Quense   

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Publisher:  Create Sapce ISBN-10:  1452871264 Type: 


Copyright:  6/25/10 ISBN-13:  9781452871264.


Laughter is like free health insurance: you can't get too much of it. This book will give you enough laughs to boost your health.

It's filled with delightful entertainment. Without commercial interruption!
Gundarland is populated by humans, dwarfs, elves and other races; it's the backdrop for unique adventures, brilliant heroes and cunning villains.
There are six short stories and two novellas in here. All are new. You'll meet some of Shakespeare's most famous characters, a warrior-cook, vigilantes, a trio of beautiful, lusty princesses to mention just a few of the memorable characters in the stories.

Here is a list of the stories and a brief synopsis of each:

 Romeo and Juliet: Romeo, a dwarf miner, and Juliet, the elfin daughter of a rich gem merchant, have a rocky courtship because Juliet's brothers are avowed enemies of Romeo's family.

 Chasing Dreams: This novella tells the story of twin yuk brothers on their journey from strong-armed thugs to highway robbers to bawdy house owners to politicians. The brothers are plagued and harassed by vigilantes. 

Boggerts Blue: A warrior-cook seeks to rescue a kidnapped princess.  She refuses to be rescued by someone who isn't noble-born.

The Big Bang: A wizard has to eliminate a dragon and his minions.  Along the way to complete his mission, he is tested by a shape-changer and a pair of trolls.

The Queen's Hero: This novella is about a young tinker-warrior as he struggles to save his Queen from a pirate admiral trying to overthrow her and become king. The Queen's three beautiful daughters have their own plans for the young hero.

Merchant of Venison: A dwarf butcher borrows money to help his best friend and soon regrets it.  The dwelf money lender has bloody ideas about the default payments.

Inter-Racial Musical Playoffs: A few greedy wizards attempt to fix a musical competition.  Other wizards try to protect the band leader who is favored to win the competition.

Tactical Surprise: A general develops unusual tactics to defeat a rebel army.  The enemy leader is a close family friend making the general's decisions more difficult.


The planet was named Gundar after the omniscient god who accidentally created the universe with an explosive sneeze caused by snorting a larger-than-average dose of His favorite recreational powder. The nodules of spittle flew through space and eventually solidified into suns, planets, comets and other celestial bodies.
Scientific authorities called this event the Big Achoo. Medical authorities argued that infectious diseases were the result of this unsanitary beginning. Religious authorities countered that such talk was blasphemous and that the medical authorities should accept infectious diseases as Gundar's holy will. Ordinary folk thought the authorities had too much free time on their hands and ought to get jobs.
Gundarland is the largest land mass on the planet. Populated by diverse races such as dwarfs, humans, elves, half-pints, yuks and a few lesser races, these disparate races live cheek-by-jowl in many cases and get along with no more than the usual interracial hostility.
At one time, the yuks roamed all over the island subjecting everyone to their boorish behavior and crude manners. The other races mostly put up with them, but it was a brave hostess who invited a yuk to a dinner party. They ate with their fingers because they always pilfered the cutlery as soon as they sat down at the table. Eventually, the yuks were driven into the southwest corner of the island, a land of marshes and mountain deemed worthless by land developers.
Religion has always played a big part in many people's lives. The biggest festival occurred in the spring when Snotism celebrated the birth of the universe. Know as the Sacred Snot-Fest, the ritual culminated in everyone simultaneously inhaling crushed pepper to generate a giant sneeze. Doctors loved the festival; many of them made more money in the month following the Snot-Fest than they did for the rest of the year. Oddly enough, the priests all wore masks during the ceremony.

Professional Reviews

From Gundarland comes entertainment.
Gundarland, a land populated with elves, dwarves, humans and other intriguing races, is both like and unlike the world we live on. The characters must tackle and overcome many of the situations we find ourselves in everyday. The difference, of course, is how they overcome them. Some do it with cooking utensils, some with a mask and some do it with cunning and an unpredictable wand.
Tales from Gundarland is an action packed, comical roller coaster. This wonderfully developed land with its inhabitants is a refreshing get away from the world we live in. All of the multiple characters are both believable and unique which is a testament to the author’s talent.
Each of the eight short stories deliver a fresh, humorous spin on some of the classic tales such as Romeo and Juliet and Zorro; while poking fun at political greed and social aspects of life. Action and adventure keeps the pace moving at a steady pace; when combined with the humorous aspects the stories take on a vivid presence in the readers mind. The common denominator that holds them all together is Gundarland.
Which of the eight will be your favorite?
From the first word, Hank Quense’s passion for crafting gripping tales and quick wit takes center stage. Instantly, you are immersed in the land of Gundarland next to the multiple individuals that inhabit the planet. With each passing page, it is virtually impossible not to become part of the humor and adventure within “Tales From Gundarland.”
“Tales From Gundarland” delivers nonstop action and laughs with an intriguing pinch of romance. The unique stories, strong characters and multiple plots carry from story to story and page to page. This book is a must have for those seeking action, adventure and comedy bundled in short, deliberate stories. 
Gundarland is sure to become one of your favorite places to visit after reading “Tales From Gundarland.”
Brian Knight

Tales From Gundarland is a fantasy satire.
t could be called “Fractured Legends.” I wasn’t sure what to expect when I began reading this book. What I discovered was a lot of humor. I was caught up in the numerous short stories. The connecting thread is the planet Gundarland. The stories each reminded me of a traditional story. Quense has managed to re-tell them with more than a bit of satire. Often we take ourselves too seriously; Quense’ sense of humor forces us to laugh.
The stories are well written, easy to read and entertaining. I’ve read other books by Hank Quense and I believe this is his finest.
Readers Favorite: Five out of five stars

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