(Oh, great! Just what the world needs…another humorous book by a first time author! Jeez, an idiot takes one freakin’ creative writing class in college and he thinks he’s a superstar!)

 “Yea, but this one really is funny! “

(Sure, sure, so’s my proctologist, but I wouldn’t read his book either, mainly because he always has cold hands. But, I digress…here’s the numbskull’s blurb…which I’m sure took longer to write than the book…)

 “Take a journey into the strange and magical land known as the Mea Culpa Valley; an area with a long and proud history of profound weirdness and absolute lunacy.  The residents of a small chunk of squalor known as Timbrook are visited by a precocious knight upon a quest, and inadvertently become swept up in an uproarious adventure full of magic, mystery, mayhem and intrigue. Hilarity abounds as a plot to take over the entire region is slowly uncovered, also revealing the ancient secrets of a powerful stone that may or may not actually be a piece of petrified dragon excrement. Full of laughs, adventure, romance, and comical characters, the Porridge King is a laugh-out loud good time!”

(Hmmm…sounds like a recipe for disaster…)

Or, for absolute hilarity!

(…more propaganda…)

The Porridge King is available ABSOLUTELY FREE at Smashwords.com, or at Amazon for only 99 pennies!  

Read it, laugh-it up, and get addicted; then download The Porridge King: Book Two!

(Oh, look! The idiot has a marketing plan!)

Yes! So please check it out, and if you like it, then maybe post a review, or some type of constructive criticism, or perhaps a few veiled threats, and if you don’t, then go eat a bowl of oatmeal and ponder what type of person would write such a silly book and spend more than three minutes promoting it.

(Just the thought of it makes me shiver like a wet Chihuahua stuck in a wind tunnel…)

Oh, sure, I could quote you a bunch of reviews but we both know they’d either be fake or written by people who owe me money. So, don’t take some idiot’s word for it … take this idiot’s word for it … the Porridge King is funny! And fun to read! Or my name isn’t Edgar Smallberries … which it isn’t. But, I’d be willing to change it for a nice cash advance or a promissory note written with grape jelly.

Thank you and here’s to you and your bravery.

(You have my deepest apologies.)

The Porridge King – Available wherever fine dish towels are sold!