AuthorsDen.com   Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Rie Sheridan Rose, iGrant Dickinson, iKarl Morgan, iJames Kellogg, iPaddy Bostock, iClaudio Herrera, iPeter Jessop, i

  Home > Humor > Books Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Pearl Barley aka C M Donaldson

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Books
· Poetry
· Stories
· 9 Titles
· 6 Reviews
· Add to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Apr, 2011

Pearl Barley aka C M Donaldson, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
The Looting of Social Security--Free E-book
by Allen Smith

-Every cent generated by the 1983 Social Security payroll tax revenue -money exclusively earmarked for the retirement of the baby-boom generation-is gone, spent by our go..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Featured Book
So You Want to Be a Strategic Leader
by Dr. Larry Ross

A practical manual on strategic leadership! Learn what it takes to be a strategic leader...  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members



THE FAT BAG stuck between a rock cake & a hard plaice
by Pearl Barley aka C M Donaldson   

Share this with your friends on FaceBook
Books by Pearl Barley aka C M Donaldson
· The AL-EX Project (ALternative EXistence)
                >> View all

Category: 

Humor

Publisher:  Lulu.com ISBN-10:  1470946920 Type: 
Pages: 

150

Copyright:  Nov, 10, 2011 ISBN-13:  9781470946920
Non-Fiction

A humorous look at one person's efforts to 'get with the programme' and lose those excess pounds. What are the typical stumbling blocks? Where do I acquire that elusive will-power? Why is my attitude to food my biggest weakness? Are there psychological undertones to my lifelong struggle...or...?

There are no quick-fixes in this book, no advice, no miracle cures, just me - Pearl Barley - telling a tale that flows from the sublime to the ridiculous!

Laugh along to an issue we can all relate to! ALSO AVAILABLE ON THE KINDLE

Download to your Kindle (eBook)
Amazon
Lulu
lulu.com
The Fat Bag Stuck Between a Rock Cake & a Hard Plaice

This is an extremely funny little book. The title alone should start you off. The tales within trace the writer's lifelong struggle citing the pitfalls and stumbling blocks she has encountered in trying to lose weight and, more importantly, keep it off.

There are times of triumph trying out another 'new' diet, but she always puts the weight back on. She never gives up though and the diary-like entries tell it like it REALLY is for those of us who can relate to her frustrations.

There's a light-hearted way to the telling of each tale. Chuckle at chapters entitled ... "This Little Piggie Went to Town" ... "All Menus Are Not Created Equal" ... "Who Said Less Is More?" and ... "My Cup Runneth Over".

But by no means is it a tale of woe. There are no quick-fixes, granted, nor any reasonable advice, but the truth is laid bare in a quirky, amusing way and has been described as "sheer enjoyment" "with an entertainment factor brought to life in the pages".

Easily relateable, many have... "Been There, Done That, & Bulged Out of the Tee Shirt", everything is just so... "Finger-Lickin' Good" but as the old saying goes..."What Don't Kill Will Fatten"!

Reviewers describe it as "...down-to-earth, honest and hilarious!"

Reviews:

5* review:  I felt this book was written about my life.  I could totally relate to the author's struggles to lose weight. This is an amazingly hilarious and well written book. If you have struggled or are still struggling with your weight then you must read this book.             

5* review:  Intriguing and relateable, I was pleasantly surprised when I picked up this book...from the first page I was hooked, and believe me there is no requirement to ever have had a weight problem or to be of any specific age...from the witty play on words to the extremely insightful reminiscings, this author is definitely one to watch!

 5* review I just loved this book, its definitely worthy of the 5 star recommendation that I have given it. I found myself relating to Pearl’s tales of weight loss and gain, its definitely a book to make you think and at the same point laugh along too. A great read and now I'm off to search Amazon for any more of Pearl's books.

5* review This is a must read. Hilarious in places but serious in others. These accounts tell it like it is for those intrepid dieters who can fully understand the trials and tribulations of trying to lose weight and keep it off! I laughed out loud often and cannot wait for the follow-up from this incredible writer.  


Excerpt

”… Be careful not to fall into the trap I did once when on a marathon diet (not a 'Marathon' as used to be before it was changed to Snickers), doing pretty well with weight-rapidly-falling-off results. I successfully went down three dress sizes; could shop wherever I wanted and should have felt great about my body. For reasons that became apparent, I was extremely unhappy with the weightloss - the weight came off too fast and I didn't exercise ONCE. Imagine then, if you will, the unfortunate results.

Suddenly my more-than-ample boobs looked like...forget the spaniel's ears...like empty socks! The belly flesh now lay on my lap like an empty deflated paper bag. And don't get me started on the underarm `bingo wings'.

It seemed the only solution was, ruefully, to put the weight back on hoping to lose it all again whilst exercising the vulnerable bits (boobs, tum and arms).

Easy to say (putting the weight back on); easy to do (putting more weight back on) ... and a PIG to lose! (Can't stop putting the weight back on)

It took me only a few months to put ALL the weight back on that I'd lost, and about THREE YEARS to decide I'd filled out enough (especially as my precious bosom was back to its former glory. You don't know what you've got till it's gone comes to mind, and I'd absolutely resented losing two such good `friends'), effectively stuck between a rock cake and a hard plaice!

OK yeah, I know the phrase is being 'stuck between a rock and a hard place' but it's a clever use of a popular phrase what with the play on words, and I couldn't resist attempting a clever twist.

So back to square one I requested The Biggest Loser DVD as a Christmas present and dreamed that this, my latest experiment (ever hopeful aren't I?) was going to be successful. I have made a couple of attempts at it, believe me, and I've no doubt it works for SOME ...if you can stay alive, that is, but trust me, the 10-minute warm-up absolutely FINISHED ME OFF!

Will I ever win this battle with the bulge? Read some more and find out!



Professional Reviews

At Last!
A thoroughly enjoyable read. A personal point of view that many could relate to. It is very funny in places and thought provoking in others. I highly recommend this book to anyone who was/still is, having a battle with their weight. Its very well written, and you can tell its from the heart, the author pores out the highs and lows with her - bare to all, honesty. It brought back so many memories, some laughter and, a few sad-ish memories as well. But all in all, DO try it, I'm sure you will be back looking for more to read by this author, with eager anticipation----like myself. ENJOY!!!.

An amusing Bridget Jones' Diary style read
This book was what it promised. A funny, witty look at years of yo-yo dieting. So for me personally I found it a hilarious insider's point of view of the craziness that is extreme dieting. Every golden promise of weight loss appears to have been seized and explored in this book and the 'Bridget Jones Diary style' writing is quirky and enjoyable.

4.0 out of 5 stars Been there, done that.....
Quite amusing - if you've ever battled with your weight you will recognise some of this, if you've never had a weight problem it will help you sympathise with those who do!


Want to review or comment on this book?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!





Featured Book
Refuge: The Arrival: Book 2
by Douglas Dandridge

The war goes on, as the forces of the evil Empire continue to press the human invaders with their mages and dragons. The humans have a limited time frame to use their te..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Featured Book
The Phoenix Agenda
by Ralph Cates

Al Qaeda leader, the Snow Leopard, leads a major attack in the southwest U.S. CIA operative Kurt Valdez returns to take on his old adversary and try to stop terroris..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members




Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.