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Hurt No More! A Journey of Healing from Abuse
In Kelly Ann Evers new book, “Hurt No More! A Journey of Healing from Abuse,” she reaches out to abused and battered women with her own compelling and inspirational story. After escaping from her abusive husband, she was unable to enjoy her newfound freedom because of the emotional, physical, and spiritual scars left from years of domestic violence that kept her feeling hopeless, defeated, and depressed. Determined to set herself free from her suffering, she found the courage to search for true happiness and a meaningful life.
Evers is the founder of the international organization His Love Heals, Domestic Violence Help. In her book she teaches victims of domestic violence not to give up or settle for anything less than God’s perfect plan for them. She helps them find the strength to put one foot in front of the other by tapping into God’s strength so they can soar above life’s often overwhelming trials.
Statistics show that one out of every three women in our nation and one out of every four women in our churches will become victims of domestic violence during their lifetime.[i] It is clear that a domestic violence crisis has taken root in the United States. Many abused women, as well as their friends and family who want to help them, are reaching out in desperation for answers. In “Hurt No More! A Journey of Healing from Abuse,” Kelly Ann Evers gives victims of abuse the tools to safely and successfully escape from their abusers, and shows them how to find peace, healing, hope, and comfort through prayer and the Word of God.
At a conference earlier this year, Eversstated, “It’s important for victims of abuse to know they are not alone. There is help and resources available to them.” For additional information please visit www.domestic-violence-help.org.
“Hurt No More! A Journey of Healing from Abuse” retails for $14.95. Presales of the ebook can be found online at www.KellyAnnEvers.com, also at amazon.com and other ebook sellers in October (ebook: $8.95). On December1st the book will be available in bookstores and online everywhere.
[i] NIH: National Institute of Mental Health, http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/depression.html
This book was written to help bring hope and healing into the lives of those who have been abused. Countless women suffer with personal wounds so deep and painful that they are trapped in a vicious cycle of hopelessness. God wants you healed and whole, enjoying the overflowing with abundance life that He planned just for you.
God made sure this book got into your hands so that you will hurt no more. He has a great future for you, but it requires that you partner with Him, and read the prayers, Scriptures, and affirmations in this book daily.
You are about to begin your journey of healing, but please understand that it’s a process. There’s no magic pill that will instantly bring healing and wholeness to your mind, body, and spirit. People do not wake up one day suddenly feeling defeated, hopeless, and depressed. Years of negative thoughts, beliefs, and habits are deeply ingrained in us, they have shaped how we view our world, and we cannot expect them to disappear overnight. To be truly healed and whole, we must learn to acknowledge that we deserve nothing less than a happy, full life. This book will take you on a journey of self-healing as you partner with God, our ultimate Physician.
God made sure this book got into your hands so that you will hurt no more.
My Beloved Reader:
My prayer is that through this journey you truly come to know God’s love for you, that you will have a deep understanding that He has chosen you for a purpose, and you will realize that you are His precious masterpiece. I pray that God will show you the path to enjoying life to its fullest, and you will see how valuable you are, and how you are worth investing in.
May you sense the comfort of God while experiencing His peace, and find hope in His promises. I pray that your days will be tranquil and calm as you work toward hurting no more.
I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
As you read the Scripture-based prayers in this book each day, and meditate on Scripture, you will discover that the Word of God will renew you, and bring true joy and peace into your life. You will come to know the Lord intimately and passionately, and will develop a rich fellowship with Him—an experience unlike any you have had before. May you be blessed and treasure this joyous journey toward healing and discover true joy and peace.
In His Love,
Kelly Ann Evers
Founder, His Love Heals, Domestic Violence Help
Putting on a Façade
No one really knew me. I was extremely skillful at putting on a façade. I lived a prestigious life filled with wealth and travel, and I was quite aware that many people were envious of me.
If they only knew. Outwardly, I appeared to be a woman who had the perfect husband, the perfect children, the perfect home, but behind the walls of our house, my children and I inhabited a world filled with fear and violence.
After the birth of my daughter, my husband’s drinking had escalated, and so did his violence toward me. For years I felt all alone, believing it was my lot in life for my husband to physically, emotionally, and spiritually abuse me. My marriage had become my prison. Unknown to me, there was even a tracking device on my car so my husband constantly knew where I went. He was never going to let me leave. I had run away from him numerous times, taking our children with me, but he always found us, and forced me to return to him. I had lost all hope, my self-worth had been beaten out of me, and I was completely numb inside.
I often would dream of the day when I successfully escaped from my husband. I knew, or at least I imagined it would be true, that once I left him, my life would be perfect, happy, and peaceful.
On April 7, 2001 my husband beat me so severely that I suffered an acute head injury. I was supposed to take his car to the car wash that day, one of my weekly chores, so we had exchanged keys earlier. After assaulting me, he left the house in my car. He had just viciously attacked me, I was clearly injured, but he still expected me to get his car washed later that day! My young daughter and I went on automatic pilot, refusing to give into the fear and terror we felt. We knew we didn’t have much time to get out of the house before he returned.
As I threw our belongings into suitcases, I realized I had no idea where we were going, what our future held, or if he would find us. Nothing would ever be the same. We might be forced to live well-below the poverty line on a peanut butter and crackers diet, without any of the luxuries we were used to having. But my daughter and I didn’t care. We wanted freedom from him, freedom from fear and terror, freedom from abuse.
My son was away at private school so I knew he would be safe. I loaded up my husband’s car and told my daughter to make one last run through the house to see if she wanted anything else. I held my dog for what I thought would be the last time, and as my tears soaked her soft, white fur, I whispered, “I love you.” My daughter came down the stairs with her arms full of stuffed animals and a book. We stood for a second, glancing quickly around our house, at the life we were leaving behind. I said, “Let’s go,” and led her to the car.
I found a secluded area outside a library that was two cities from our home, parked the car, and I stopped to catch my breath. My daughter and I sat quietly, staring out the windows. I felt paralyzed. With shaking hands and a quivering voice, I called the battered women’s shelter. A soft, gentle voice, calm and reassuring, let me know that everything would be okay. She set a time and place to meet.
When she saw me she noticed that I was suffering from a serious head injury and insisted that I needed to go to the emergency room. I ended up being hospitalized for two weeks.
Once I was out of the hospital, my daughter and I entered the battered women’s shelter and were given a room with bunk beds. My daughter took the top bunk, I took the bottom. The moment I put my head on the pillow I began to cry, and for the next three days the tears that I had held inside for years came pouring out of me.
In my mind, I had pictured battered women’s shelters as depressing, dark, dreary places where hundreds of profoundly sad women and children stood side by side, weeping uncontrollably, packed together like farm animals. They had no hope, no future. We entered a completely different reality. The shelter was a beautiful home with everything women and their children would want or need. The women I met there were happy and optimistic.
The shelter didn’t just provide food and housing. It gave women hope for the future and assisted us with our legal documents and our court hearings. It helped with our clothing, makeup, medical needs, therapy, jobs, and so much more.
As we settled into our new home, my daughter and I began group, individual, and family therapy. The therapist was sharp, creative, and knew domestic violence well. Between daily therapy, making plans for our future, and preparing for court, two weeks passed quickly.
Our court date arrived, and the shelter’s advocate assured me that everything would work out fine. She was right. My husband was ordered to provide financial support for my daughter and me, a restraining order was granted, and I also obtained a Kick Out Order. My husband had 15 minutes to remove his belongings. My daughter and I were going to be able to return to our home!
After packing our belongings and cleaning the room for the next guest, we left the shelter, and headed home. I was terrified that my husband might be hiding in the house so I had the police meet us there. We were relieved to be reunited with our beloved dog, and to be back in our home.
Looking back on that time now, I realize that if it hadn’t been car wash day when I received my last beating from my husband, I would have escaped in my own car, and the tracking device that my husband had secretly installed would have allowed him to find my daughter and me quickly. I like to think that God was cheering me on that spring day in 2001 as I successfully made my getaway from my husband in my husband’s own vehicle!
For several years I continued to live in constant fear. Despite the restraining order, my husband had shown up a few times at the house, and even broken into the garage on one occasion. Because he wasn’t happy with his supervised telephone-only visitation with our daughter that the court had ordered, he would make threatening phone calls to me. Even with a new alarm system and top-of-the-line door locks, I still felt unsafe.
I also felt very alone. I had lost most of my friends because they feared my husband, and a few months after my arrival home, I learned that my mother had been diagnosed with cancer. Within six months she lost her battle. During this time my grandmother entered hospice, a friend committed suicide, and two more friends died. I was subjected to a vicious divorce, my husband took all our community assets out of the country, and left my children and me with no savings.
While I was trying to care for my two children all alone, I was suffering from brain trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and amnesia—the result of the many brutal beatings my husband had given me. I became deeply depressed.
Unfortunately, though I had finally escaped from my abuser, the years of violence and emotional abuse had left me feeling defeated and hopeless. I had no fight left in me. I saw myself as worthless and useless. I would berate myself continually for any faults I believed I had, or any mistakes I felt I had made. I would belittle myself for what I perceived to be my weaknesses and my lack of abilities. I had become my own abuser.
I wasn’t prepared for the ugly reality getting away from my husband hadn’t automatically fixed the wounded woman I had become emotionally and spiritually. I knew I had to do something to heal my pain, repair my self-image, and stop the destructive words that I constantly said to myself and clearly believed. I was determined to alter the course of my life.
There is a Scripture that covers every area of hurt, rejection, abandonment, hopelessness, helplessness, and so much more.
I had continued to see the therapist I had met through the shelter. Through her counseling I began to understand abuse, and she helped me break away from the victim mentality. It wasn’t until I began counseling with Pastors Reggie, Kim, and Myrene that the deep emotional wounds finally began to heal.
I knew God wanted me happy and whole, and He led me on a journey where I discovered in the Bible a wealth of healing Scriptures that spoke to my pain. I learned that if I wanted to be healed, truly set free from my suffering, then I needed to change my thoughts.
I found that in God’s Word there is a Scripture that covers every area of hurt, rejection, abandonment, hopelessness, helplessness, and so much more I read them out loud daily, and as a result, these Scriptures came alive in me. Immediately, I felt peace.
I found Scriptures about healing, health, hope, and wholeness. I found Scriptures on who I was in Christ, what I can do through Him. I recited Scriptures of His love for me and how I can receive His love. Every day I faithfully devoted myself to prayer. I soon began to see my painful emotional scars begin to fade, and I came to know God in a more profound way.
I found out how deep and wide His love is for me, that He has great compassion for me, and that I am capable of accomplishing so much more than I thought possible. Through faith, I learned that the Word of God heals every hurt, abuse, and offense. I discovered He wants to heal us everywhere we hurt.
As I walked daily in my journey toward hurting no more, I discovered that God is my hope, my healer, and my strength. He was the one who saved me from the abuse. God has sustained me, and carried me through some of the worst times. There were occasions when I felt God had abandoned me. I would cry out and it would feel like I was all alone, but those moments of doubt would pass, and I would realize that He was there.
He gave me the fortitude I needed to make it through the day. He gave me the peace I needed when I was terrified. He comforted me when I was worried and anxious. He never left my side.
He was the one who saved me from the abuse.I am fully confident that I will hurt no more.
He has shown me what love is. He has given me precious friends and family members who love me unconditionally. He has restored my health and removed past sorrow. He has picked up all the shattered pieces, the hopelessness, the worthlessness, and has renewed me and made me whole. He has given me a beautiful life. Today I can say, “I love my life.” But most of all, I have a God who loves me and I love Him, and I am fully confident that I will hurt no more.
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