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Walter Eckland

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Member Since: Nov, 2011

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Corie Castle Builder
by Walter Eckland   

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Books by Walter Eckland
· Corie Universe Feeder
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Category: 

Children

ISBN-10:  1466177161 Type: 
Pages: 

101

Copyright:  11/2/2011 ISBN-13:  9781466177161
Fiction

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Corie continues her life of complete nonsense mixed with actually doing something worthwhile in this second book of the Corie Universe Feeder saga. My goodness! Things have become a saga now! Who would have thought that?

Corie continues her life of complete nonsense mixed with actually doing something worthwhile in this second book of the Corie Universe Feeder saga. My goodness! Things have become a saga now! Who would have thought that?

Saga, epic, endeavor, enterprise, tale, adventure, chronicle or what not, did you say castle? Where’s the pickle the fish and the tree? Are they still around? Are they growing? Are they doing something? Are there dogs? Did anyone break anything? Will more people get fed?

Yes a castle, yes the pickle-and-fish tree, yes more growing and yes some people are fed and yes someone broke an arm. Unfortunately the people are being fed fresh vegetables and not anything good and healthy like orange painted puffed up things that come in a bag and mess up your fingers.

There is a slight snow problem followed by a slight melting problem followed by a glass installation problem. Oh! There’s a bank problem too, but that was before it snowed.

Wait! Don’t run away from all these problems. I think they all get resolved in the end. I also think it’s Corie who does the resolving.

No cheese sandwiches were harmed in the writing of this book.

[This is book two in a series and you will have NO IDEA what is going on if you start with this book. Go find book one please and thank you.]
 

Excerpt
1: Repeat
Please do not start
reading
this book
unless and until you have read the other book. By “other book,” I mean, of course (you horse) the first book, which is also all about our little Corie.
If you start reading here, without reading the other book, then you’re not going to know anything about Corie, Dad, research, Smelly Timmy, librarians, or the married/dog walk guy who had twins—and aren’t they cute little devils? (emphasis on “devils”)—or the Phillippe (pickle-and-fish) Tree or the President of Perú (still).
If you haven’t read the other book, every time I talk about the above mentioned people, places, grapefruits, or things, you’ll scratch your head and wonder and think I’m a terrible writer and (this book = terrible x 2.07) because you will not be able to figure out what is going on.
Please understand that I am not just telling you to read the other book so that you or your mom or your wealthy Uncle Bob will buy that book and I’ll make tons of “silver with a little gold and I believe that’s purple on top money”. I don’t make that much money (of any color) every time you buy one book, and what I do actually do to make money, I don’t really want to tell you, partly because it’s kind of dull, and mostly because I’d rather work at a lemonade, water, and cookie stand.
Even if it does sell hot chocolate and coffee
And I might.
Work at a lemonade stand, that is.
So...
I’ll wait until you get a copy (try a LENDING library or buy it or rent it or borrow it from someone you like) of the other book about Corie and read it.
I’m waiting...
I’m waiting...
I’m waiting...
I’m waiting...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I’m still waiting...
All set?
Great!
Now we’re ready to go.
A lady lived in San Jose, California, and she saw a guy breaking into a museum and she called her police chief and followed the guy in her car (at a very safe distance and with her finger hanging over the send button on her cell phone and the numbers 911 already punched in), and they caught the guy. He was almost as bad—or at least as bad, or maybe worse than the gurgle jar-stealing guy who’s still in jail and not likely to go home for Thanksgiving dinner and pumpkin pie anytime soon or even next century.
The lady in San Jose, California got a medal, a great feeling, a museum pass for life, a new funny-looking phone, and a $57,500 reward that she donated to the Pickle-and-Fish Tree Charity Fund, AND she got her picture above the fold on the cover of her local paper, which is called The San Jose Mercury. Her police chief there, who had his picture taken, did not have his picture put on the cover above or below the fold, not even on Page 62. The San Jose Mercury is a fat paper with a lot of pages.
I wonder why they call it The San Jose Mercury and not The San Jose Saturn. Saturn is a much more interesting planet that Mercury, especially if you’re talking about things like moons and rings and friends of Jupiter.
Anyhoo. Anyhow. Any-Jupiter.
Any-other-orbiting-roundish-mass.
Any-KEEP-PLUTO-A–PLANET-PLEASE! I really like the little rocky fella.



Two: What are you thinking?

Are you thinking:
*This will be a continuation of the last book.
*This will explain all about the pickle part.
*Corie’s okay, so tell me more.
*How are the fish, and did they go to Perú and have Market (pronounced Mar-Kay) Fish babies?
*Will we go to Perú in this book?
*Will we go to Geneva, Switzerland and see yogurt or yodelers?
*What’s with that boy Corie sits near but not with?
*How’s the head librarian?
*Is Jenna still around? She reminds me of me.
*Will Smelly Timmy break anything? He reminds me of me.
*What about the three-foot-tall skinny branch? Is it still growing? What is it? How skinny is it? Will it have leaves? Will they be purple? Will they be different or the same shape as the other leaves? Can I have a Popsicle right now?
*I’m bored. It’s raining. Hurry up and tell me something
*I have no idea what you are talking about. Who’s Corie? What pickle? What branch? What librarian? What dog walk guy?
If you’re thinking that last one, then you didn’t READ the first book about Corie, or else you did read it and already forgot all about it.
If (READ FIRST BOOK = NO), then go to the beginning of Chapter One and follow the instructions.
If (READ FIRST BOOK = YES + YOU CAN’T REMEMBER), then have your memory checked.
Really.
At your age, you shouldn’t be forgetting stuff like that. Have a cheese sandwich and CONCENTRATE for a minute.




Oh, I just had a great idea! Instead of starting this book with Chapter 1 and working up, I’ll start with Chapter 99 and work down. But wait... what if I don’t have ninety-nine chapters and then finish the book before Chapter 1? Hmm. What if I have more that ninety-nine chapters and don’t finish telling everything by Chapter 1? Hmm. Will I keep writing so you will know what happened? Hmm. This might not work. Hmm. Oh well. I still like the idea, and I’m starting with ninety-nine. So that first chapter wasn’t 1. It was 99. And that second chapter wasn’t 2. It was 98. So I guess that makes this Chapter 97.

So...
You probably gathered from hearing about that San Jose-living lady that donated the $57,500 to the Pickle-and-Fish Tree Charity Fund, that the fund still exists and still takes donations and still feeds people all over the world. It is. It does. And it does.
But that’s not what I’m talking about now.
Listen...
The universe is a large place. Our sun and our planet and our solar system are teeny, weeny, itsy, bitsy little things in the universe. People shouldn’t go around saying that someone is feeding the whole universe if they’re only feeding just about every starving person on one teeny, weeny, itsy, bitsy little planet.
You never know who or what might get mad.




Ninety – 6

It snowed again—around 18 inches, or maybe 1.5 feet, or perhaps .4728 meters.
At the time it snowed, there were already three inches of other previously fallen still white snow on the ground.
Snow.
White stuff.
Kind of wet snow.
Perfect for snowball and snowwoman-, man- or person-making.
It was only December 19, which is pretty early in the winter. So it should and would stay cold for a while. So the snow shouldn’t melt for a while. So snow trouble could last longer. So someone might have to sew the holes in someone’s snowsuit. So. Sew. So what?
So some research was done. Some plans were planned. Some concepts were conceptualized. Some orangey-red spray paint was found that clearly was orangey-red and not that other shade of reddy-orange.



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