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Jeff Farr

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How to Canoe in Canada, almost get killed by rapids, eaten by...
by Jeff Farr   

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Copyright:  2012

Adventure-comedy about two unsuspecting adventurers facing deadly rapids, unbearable bugs, polar bears, drunken Indians, inedible food, Arctic tundra, inaccurate route maps, and much more, on their vacation in the Canadian Wilderness.

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Follow along in this adventure-comedy as two unsuspecting adventurers face deadly rapids, unbearable bugs, polar bears, drunken Indians, inedible food, Arctic tundra, inaccurate route maps, and much more, on their summer vacation in the Canadian Wilderness.

It all begins just north of The Pas in Manitoba, Canada. A train stops and drops off 2 canoers, 350 pounds of food and gear, and 1 canoe.

The plan was to canoe 800 miles over 8 weeks in the “Land of Little Sticks,” eventually heading down the Caribou River to Hudson Bay where they were scheduled to be picked up by a boat and taken to the town of Churchill, Manitoba.

But things didn’t go quite as planned.

After learning from Indians living in the area that they would very likely be killed by rapids going down the Caribou River, route changes were made to exit the area via the Seal River where they would only maybe get killed. One big problem... the canoe they rented was made for cruising big lakes with a motor, not negotiating intense rapids... oops!

Upon reaching Hudson Bay, the two canoers come to realize that their pre-scheduled pick up wasn’t going to show up. Instead, they find themselves surrounded by polar bears and faced with canoeing many miles across the freezing-cold Arctic ocean, which is prone to sudden storms and has a tide that goes out as far as 12 miles twice a day.

You’ll wonder how they lived to tell the story, but they did, and in this all-true adventure-comedy, they bring you vivid descriptions of nearly canoeing over waterfalls, being covered with clouds of black flies and mosquitoes, getting caught on huge lakes during violent thunder storms, canoeing past dead whales, and coming within inches of being vaporized by rapids.

You’ll learn how a guitar peg saved their lives, the food supplies that turned out to be indigestible, why they developed the “brute force” paddling technique,” the problem with beavers ~ and much more ~ including some things that are probably better kept private, but were left in the story anyway!

It’s all told with a good sense humor and a “like you were there” writing style that absorbs you into the adventure.

“How to Canoe in Canada, almost get killed by rapids, eaten by polar bears, have your blood sucked out by clouds of mosquitoes, and other fun stuff,” is an entertaining read for just about everyone, and a “must read” for anyone considering a canoe trip in northern Canada. You’ll find out how inaccurate information led to under-preparation, a near drowning, and the loss of equipment and supplies, literally in the “middle of nowhere”... something you'll want to avoid if you're considering a similar trip.

Illustrated with 140 photos and illustrations, this book also includes interesting tidbits about the land, plants, animals, and the people who live and canoe in Canada’s Land of Little Sticks. Enjoy!

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