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Amity P. Buxton

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Unseen-- Unheard: The Journey of Straight Spouses
by Amity P. Buxton  Amity Pierce Buxton and R. L. Pinely 

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When presumably heterosexual spouses turn out to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, the unexpected revelation itself overshadows the devastating impact it has on their straight wives and husbands. Unseen-- Unheard opens the window on straight spouses' remarkable journeys from trauma to transformation.

What would you do if your husband told you he’d fallen in love with
another man or thinks he might be gay or bisexual? What would
you do if you discovered your wife's texts, photos or emails
indicating she has a female lover or wonders if she might be
lesbian or bisexual? Well, this happens, a shattering reality that at
least two million men and women among us have faced and tried
to understand and accept even as we were unseen and our voices
What? Who are we? We are husbands and wives left behind
when our spouses came out or after we discovered they were gay,
lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Shocked and paralyzed and
then swirling in the devastating wake of this unexpected revelation
about our beloveds, we had to pick up the unrecognizable pieces
of our former lives and try to reconfigure them without much
outside support, recognition, or understanding of the depth of the
crisis. Yes, straight spouses typically cope alone with unique
issues of sexuality, betrayal, and a broken belief system. Slowly,
slowly, we redefine ourselves, build new lives, affirm the joy of
living, and reap life’s infinite possibilities.
We invite you to walk with us and experience our journey from the
first desperate cries of discovery or disclosure to the insights and
wisdom gained as we resolve our issues and transform our lives.
As you observe and listen, we hope you will embrace the courage,
creativity, and resilience of our inner strength, which we didn't
know we had, yet was so powerful that lifelong habits were broken
and we became uniquely and marvelously who we were meant to

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