||Pegasus Elliot Mackenzie Ltd
||July 7 2010
Rampant abuse and never truly knowing whether I would wake up in hospital or my own bed, here are my thoughts and actions as I fought my way to adulthood and on reaching maturity I thought life would be easy, I was to find to my cost that this was not the case.
Barnes & Noble.com
Pegasus Elliot Mackenzie
Mike's literary and family pages
COPYRIGHT (c) 2008
Find a soft spot to land on (autobiography) /Coatesworth
Manuscript – 81,835 words
Find a soft spot to land on
As a child I hated learning and spent most of my time playing truant from school. Being stabbed by my father for taking a slice of bread and locked in the coal cellar, suffering years of abuse, torture and hospitalised at the hands of my step-mother, I quickly learned to find a soft spot to land on.
We were five children being brought up by a deaf blind aunt, which led to jealousy and a physical assault on my aunt by my stepmother, and she had to fight back ferociously to survive the onslaught. My birth mother deserted the family when I was two. I was thrown on to the streets by my father when I was 14-years-old because he wanted to live with his lady friend. Next to the youngest of five children, I missed being part of a family, and I lived rough on the streets, and I was on the verge of suicide. It was at the age of 17 that my older brother Alan managed to save me at the last minute and helped me to take stock of my life. He took care of me and encouraged me to join the army, and I took his advice and joined the Duke of Wellington's Regiment, and it was like I had a new family and it was my new home.
Having my brother murdered by a burglar was a great shock to me. One thing that I had promised Alan was that if anything happened to him, I would continue with the search for our birth mother - who we had not seen or heard of since the day she left us in 1951.
One night in 1985, as I was working as a security guard, tragedy struck, and I was knocked down by a car and I suffered serious head injuries. The accident left me wheelchair bound and unable to tell a tin of beans from a tin of rice, so that I had to learn everything again. Day centres and carers were constantly trying to stimulate my brain in an attempt to make me learn how to live my life again. The funny thing was that I still retained my memories of my childhood and teenage years.
I attended a college for students with learning disabilities, and I was taught all about computers and how to design my own web page albeit simple. As my life improved and I learnt more about the wonders of technology, I began searching for my birth mother on the Internet, and finally found her.
While on holiday in Majorca, I met Lawrence, he told me that he could make me walk again.
Just as I was preparing myself for a possible enhancement in my lifestyle, I was diagnosed with a tumour on my spine, now I had another battle on my hands.
‘You should get out now!’ Snarled Lillian, sneeringly, ‘you’re not wanted here anymore; I’m in charge in this house now!’ She swaggered over to Chrissie and pushed her, ‘I don’t care whether you’re, deaf, dumb or blind, we both want you out of here now!’
‘Don’t push me!’ Chrissie had shouted back. It wasn’t a hard push that Lillian had given her, but it surprised Chrissie, ‘you have no right here, you’re not really a member of this family.’
Lillian pushed her again, harder this time, as she was trying to prove that she was the new mistress of the household and wasn’t going to stand any nonsense from anyone. What she didn’t realise, was that Chrissie was from the school of hard knocks and would only take so much.
As Lillian’s hand touched Chrissie’s shoulder for the third time, to give her another push, Chrissie managed to grab hold of Lillian’s clothes and pulled her close to her body, and she held on tight, not giving Lillian the chance to push her again.
Lillian began to struggle; a look of surprise appeared on her well made up features, as she tried in vain to escape the strong grip of Chrissie’s hands.
They both began struggling and then Lillian managed to strike out and hit Chrissie. Not daring to let go of Lillian, Chrissie placed her leg against Lillian’s and brought her to the ground, still holding on tightly to her.
We were clearly upset by all this and were screaming, trying to stop the two adults fighting.
Dad stood watching with an amused look on his face, he had never seen two women fighting before and he thought it was quite interesting, and then a look of surprise and horror appeared on his face.
The two women were on the floor fighting, and nobody was sure how it happened, but Chrissie managed to get hold of Lillian’s neck with one hand, and with the other hand punched her in the face, and then pulling her up by the neck in both of her strong bony hands, Chrissie positioned herself and head butted her in the face. After she had head butted Lillian, and which was more in desperation than anything malicious, Lillian’s face was a mass of blood where Chrissie’s head had connected with her nose.
Lillian was dazed and wanted to get away from the assault, she hadn’t reckoned on someone who was disabled, putting up such a desperate battle.
Find a soft spot to land on
“Find a soft spot to land on” is the life story of a troubled man: his struggle to find himself a place in the world and a stabilising focus for his confused emotions.
It is labelled an ‘autobiography’ on the title page, and in the introduction. It is written in the style of a conventional autobiography, and my intuition tells me that this is in fact what it is: a memoir.
The story opens with a road accident, in which the author was hurled through the air and landed on his head. His injuries led to many years of therapy and treatment. This partly explains the wry humour of the title, though ‘finding a soft spot to land on’ has been the guiding principle of his life. To tell that story, he goes back to the beginning: his birth into a poor family in Bradford in 1948. The background is filled in concisely and skilfully, with a sketch of the circumstances of his birth. His father was a tram-driver, left to bring up his five children after their mother abandoned them to go to America with her GI boyfriend. The children were mothered by their father’s sister, Chrissie, who also helped the family drag itself out of financial debts. Chrissie is a pivotal character in the story, the author’s emotional focal point.
The story is narrated in the form of a sequence of episodes which have been woven together so that they form a continuous narrative. The episodes add up to a convincing portrait of a life: the petty sibling frictions, the difficult circumstances, and the ties that held the family together. It is also a credible portrait of a young boy gradually becoming a young man: his perception of the world is reconstructed with an authentic touch which is often absent from similar memoirs.
It is this element – the recapturing of the perspective of youth – that unifies the first part of the story. This is what it is all about: his experience of the universal childhood struggle to understand the world, and to find one’s place in it: as the title has it, to find a soft spot to land on. As it turns out, he lands on some pretty hard spots along the way.
The prose style is simple, unpretentious, and the narrative leavened by humour. This is especially marked in the tales of childhood escapades and pranks, but even the episodes dealing with the author’s experience of beatings (from teachers, from his father) and his adult hardships have humour in them. That is not to say that the tone is jokey – far from it. A pitfall that many amateur memoirists fall into when trying to inject humour into their stories is to adopt a jokey tone, often highlighted by a rash of exclamation marks. Not so with this author, the humour is always dry, often wry, and entirely natural.
While on the subject of style, one of the features that marks the manuscript out as a memoir is the near-total absence of dialogue in the first half. Ii is notable that among the exceptions to this no-dialogue rule are the scenes involving his relationship with his aunt Chrissie, his surrogate mother. These are narrated in greater emotional detail than other scenes, especially after her premature blindness. The relationship between the troubled young man and his mother-figure are remarkably touching, especially in the period following her departure from the household.
Gradually, frictions and departures whittle the household down to the author and his father. Unable to settle to life, and with his emotional anchor gone, he runs away from home. After living with a travelling commune, he finds himself living rough in Piccadilly. This is the beginning of a spiral. He is sent to an ‘approved school’, from which he absconds. This results in a spell borstal, from which he escapes. His path into adulthood is about as inauspicious as it could be. Living alone, he struggles to make ends meet and to cope with his loneliness:
My mind was in turmoil … At the time, the only thing that I had done wrong was to grow up. As far as I was concerned, nobody wanted me and I couldn’t get a job. My stomach rumbled and the thought of food entered my brain … any moment I expected to be ejected once again, out into the freezing cold winter that surrounded the City of Bradford … My only thought at the time was to end it all before life became too unbearable, then all my problems would be over.
He is pulled back from the brink by a reconciliation with his older brother, Alan. Determined to sort his life out, he joins the army.
At last he has found a role, a focus in life, and his sense of self-worth grows. Following a period in Hong Kong, his regiment does a tour in Northern Ireland. The troubles are at their height, and he finds himself at the sharp end. Amidst the violence, though, he finds another emotional anchor: his first encounter with Betty, the woman who is to become his wife. Stints in Germany, Canada and Cyprus follow, along with promotion. He and Betty have children. Life seemed to be complete: he has found a soft spot to land on. Eventually he leaves the army and takes work as a security guard.
Here we reach the point at which we first entered the story: the accident in which he was hit by a car and suffered head injuries. The last part of the story takes us through his recovery and his story down to the present.
In conclusion, I remain convinced that this highly involving story is primarily a memoir. The product of the author’s storytelling skill makes it feel fully authentic. There is something else too. What really sells the story is the novelistic structure of the narrative arc. Throughout the second half of the story – the narrator’s adulthood – the key events of the narrative involve returns to his family at pivotal emotional moments. This does mark a strong sense of the emotional arc of a novelistic narrative.
I strongly recommend this manuscript. It is authentic, highly engaging, entertaining, absorbing content, and provides a wholly satisfying emotional cycle from beginning to end.
Finally, I find Find a soft spot to land on as a most worth book and any resulting publication would have a potential readership amongst a wide mainstream audience and could generate a great deal of interest.
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Reader Reviews for "Find a soft spot to land on now in bookstores worldwide"
|Reviewed by Jane Air
|don't wait for miracles to happen - why not self-publish it though a print on demand company ?|
|Reviewed by Laura Haglund
|It is not ready.|