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The Blog is the main English language publication of Boggart Network News which in turn is part of Greenteeth Multi Media the publishing and broadcasting empire of Jenny Greenteeth, a mischievous water spirit or Boggart.
When Jenny was a pretty young Kelpie she was jilted by Randolph Hearst and swore to have her revenge on the whole of the publishing industry. She is very active in the organisation as CEO (Chief Ectoplasmic Officer) With assistance from her supernatural friends Jenny is able to bring Boggart Blog stories flesh and blood reporters could not, for example reports from indide Buckingham Palace, he While House, Madonna's pantie drawer etc. This saves Ian the trouble of making them up.
Ian Thorpe, CVO (Chief Visiionary Officer of Greenteeth is editor in chief of Boggart Blog. An old hand who since the 1960s has been getting his work published, broadcast on radio and television and also performing as a poet and occasionally a stand up comedian, he is keen to take the web into the realm of maintream entertainment.
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"Jenny invited me into her small, decaying cottage in the middle of the peat bog. Inside the blinds were drawn but the furniture was real"
The Best Of Boggart Blog is a compliation of very funny posts from the UK's most popular and consistent humourous blog. In three years Boggart Blog has built a regular following with its varied style of comedy and wide ranging subject matter. The Blog posts rance from wicked satire and wry irony through pastiche and parody to whacky and surreal fantasy. Their targets include politics and politicians, bureaucracy, celebrity, hypocrisy, religion, corporate and individual greed and mendacity and the craziness that is flooding the world.
Before we get started, I have to say the Glastonbury Festival has not been the same this year. All the usual things are going on but as flash floods make the toilets overflow every year now, people just seem to be going through the motions. (that intro was provided bythe Greenteeth Multi Media Corp. Tired old jokes department)
Since the phrase "reality TV was coined the people who make TV programmes seem to have lost their grip of reality, or perhaps they never had much of a grip on reality anyway. Even when the word "celebrity" is left out of the title the content just gets more surreal. Just as an aside I am disappointed that celebrity reality shows have fallen out of favour before anyone threw up the idea to do Celebrity Stools, a show in which members of the public vote (£1.00 per call) on which celebrity laid any particular one of six turds; the whole thing presided over by a hysterical presenter who will spare no effort to try and make the spectacle sound exciting
The main reality offering this solstice week was a schlockumentary featuring a project to build a life size replica of Stonehenge using Polystyrene blocks. Polystyrene, how Spinal Tap is that?
To build the original, the ancients moved huge blocks of granite weighing over fifty tons well over a hundred miles, crossing swamps, rivers, the Severn estuary and countless other obstacles. The TV project featured a few weirdie-beardies running around with blocks of extruded plastic weighing a couple of kilos each on their heads. It isn't rocket science is it?
And really if it was rocket science what would that prove. A rocket is just a bomb with some kind of container sitting on top of it. You would just need a hell of a lot bigger bomb to launch a fifty ton block of granite than to shift a weirdie-beardie and a couple of kilos of plastic.
Leaving aside the question of how the ancients moved those stones quite simply because we do not know, we should ask why? Why stones from that place, why that particular design and not a pyramid and why people thought by mainstream academe to be primitive monkey men who could barely find their arse with both hands would want or need to build a sophisticated stellar observatory that would plot the precession of the equinoxes.
Most people think Stonehenge is the work of the Druids, but it predates their era by at least a thousand years. But why would the beaker people, the inhabitants of Britain in the bronze age feel the need to study a cosmic phenomenon that was first recorded only in the nineteen fifties?
Possibly it was because life was so boring before TV that the best thing to do of an evening was observe the movement of the constellations through the frame of a trilithorn.
Trouble with that idea is the full precessional cycle takes 25,900 years to complete. Even John McCain was not around for the turning of the last astrological age.
Precessional astrology was known to the Egyptians of the first Kindom, the Sumerians of Mesopotamia (Iraq) and the most ancient civilisations of South America, yet European civilisation was ignorant of it for over 2000 years.
Plenty of material there then to make a great documentary series without a single block of polystyrene in site and all the weirdie - beardies safely enclosed in their university campus environment.
So why is this kind of stuff not being shouted from the rooftops. Simple, the exploration of pre-history has strayed too far into those inconvenient areas in which we find that the cultural foundations on which our world stands are constructed from nonsense and superstition.
A little reality is truly a dangerous thing.