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Clinton Mills

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Member Since: Jun, 2006

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Sensational American Wrestling
by Clinton Mills   

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Category: 

Humor

Publisher:  Lulu.com Type: 
Pages: 

227

Copyright:  May 1st, 2006
Fiction

Savage World Entertainment

A satire on the sport of televised professional wrestling. Tex Rich, an oil rich Texan, creates his own wrestling federation where his sons can be champions but just like the real show, nothing goes as expected. Full of plot twists, off the wall commercial breaks and colorful characters, S.A.W. is a non-stop laughter filled roller coaster ride. Check out the web site http://savageworlde.com/SAWPromo and hear samples of the wrestlers introduction music CD (which is available here too), also see samples of the card game which is coming soon.

**Statements inside ( ) are from the commentator. The actual book is set up with italics but this window would not allow it**

From Chapter One



(Oh, never mind, it's time for the owner to come to the ring and announce the first title match of the night. The individuals he's coming to the ring with are the Dollar Dollar Bills and Tex's very own two sons, Robert and Rick Rich. I was just informed that I'm, well we're supposed to call this group, Rich Inc., short for Incorporated. Well, the owner has the mic, time to listen.)

The crowd cheers the five individuals in the ring. Tex Rich, styling his big white Stetson cowboy hat, motions for the crowd to quiet down.
Once the crowd is at a quiet roar, Tex speaks, "Thank you for the great reception. I'm glad to have you all here witnessing my dream come true, the birth of S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling."

The crowd cheers.



"Our first match of the night is going to be for the tag team championships of world. Before the show started, all the teams and individual wrestlers put their names or name, in a raffle. This way everyone would be gua-ran-damn-teed a fair and equal chance for themselves to get a fair shot at some gold, since I'm a fair and hard-working Texan who believes everyone should get a fair shot. Now this will be for the world tag team titles."

(Hey, nobody let me enter my name in the raffle, that's weak. Oh well, I wrestled a lot last night, if you know what I mean.)

"So the first team is..." Tex tears open an envelope and pulls out a piece of paper. "...The Dollar Dollar Bills!"
The crowd cheers as the shocked DDB’s stand by Tex in the ring. "And their opponents are..."
Tex opens another envelope. "...Nobody!" The crowd erupts into boos as Tex hands the DDB's the tag belts.

(What? Talk about low down dirty tricks. They even tricked me and being a man of the world, I know all about low down dirty tricks. Like the one I saw last night outside the hotel...Oh, never mind. Man, I'm so disappointed with Tex's little trick! I thought we
would see a title match for sure. I haven't been this disappointed since I found out Milla Vanilla was lip-synching. For crying out loud, if they were gonna hand out titles, they should have given me one. I would have been appreciative and most definitely would have finished celebrating by now.)

(Look at these idiots, acting like they actually won the tag titles or something.)

The Dollar Dollar Bills continue to celebrate in the ring, climbing the turnbuckles, hugging each other, high fives, and other antics, while the rest of Rich Inc. stands around. Tex seems to be enjoying the scene while his sons seems unaffected by this display.

(Man, this is ridiculous! How long can they celebrate for something they didn't even win? Well, we are going backstage now, at least we don't have to keep watching those two. Are those tears?! Come on, give it up guys.)
Excerpt
If it wasn't for this chronic microphone pinkie injury bothering me, I would go back there, maybe...and teach those guys a lesson. Now I mean maybe go back there but definitely teach those guys a lesson, yep, definitely teach them a lesson.


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