Childhood should be innocent, not fearful and full of pain. This story tells of the events of my tortured childhood. These events caused me to want to give up on life. My story also tells how my faith in God has been tested over and over again. With Godís love, I was finally able to turn an endless broken heart into a chance for happiness that seemed to be forever out of my reach.
My story also shows how Godís miracles brought me from the brink of suicide to holding on to life as hard as I can. Now I have hope, love, and forgiveness. I just want to let others who have had similar experiences know that it is possible to have a better, happier life if they just believe and give their heart to God and never give up. With help, we can be survivors, not victims. Just believe.
I just needed something concrete to hold on to. If it hadnít been for mylove for God, and my beliefs of Godís words, I would have killed myself a long time ago. I donít want to be here. No one wants me here. I just donítknow what else to do. My world is getting darker and darker as the days go by.I feel like I am in a coffin and someone is dumping all of the earthís dirt on top of me and I canít breath. I canít see even a glimpse of light anymore. It just feels like a never-ending battle that I will never win. Why canít I just give up and blow away like the wind?
I didnít want to live anymore, and I was too tired to care. I was tired of the
lies, I was tired of the abuse, and I was just tired of everything. Why couldnít
I just have a normal life? I didnít know the answers or why God even kept me
here on this earth. In my heart I didnít feel like I had a reason to live, but
undoubtedly God did. I wish I knew why. I just wanted it all to end, and I just
wanted answers. Was there a bigger picture for me? Only God knew the
answer. I wish that someone would share the answer with me. I laid there in
the middle of the road for a long time, but of course no cars came at all. I was
praying to God that a vehicle would come around that corner and not see me
there until it was too late. I had hoped that it would kill me quickly at least. I
didnít want to live any more. I couldnít stand it anymore. It was just too much