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Claudia Turner VanLydegraf

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Member Since: Before 2003

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Notes from Nobody
by Claudia Turner VanLydegraf   

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Publisher:  PublishAmerica ISBN-10:  1588518612 Type: 


Copyright:  Jul 1 2001

Barnes &
Notes from Nobody

This is my story about giving up my babies and finding them, with all the repercussions that all birth mothers and adoptees live with. for the rest of their lives. The story that the TV Reunion shows don't tell.

We, Birth Mothers, who gave away our babies broke the "BOND." We have had to make many adjustments in our lives to make up for that breaking of this most special bond. Our babies that we gave away have many other, just as important, repercussions that they have to deal with for the rest of their lives, the first and foremost is that they do not know how to BOND.

This book tells the story of my life and what led up to having those babies in the first place. It tells the stories of each of my boys and how they have grown and some of the possible reasons they became the men that they are. It also tells about parts of what other, natural children of the birth mother may think, when they find out about those adopted out lives of their Mothers. It goes into the feelings that arise every day in every life when the Mother is searching every place-every face and trying to find her child or children, as in my case. .
It was not just the unwanted babies, but also the unwanted abortions that many young girls had done. Those hurt them just as much as having the babies did to us that gave them away. It is being told now that even when a person gives a baby away in an adoption, that person loses someone as if that someone dies. We were told to go on with our lives and everything would fall back into place once we got rid of the problem. Things never were the same, they never fell back into place, life kept moving us forward like a tide and we never got over it. BUT WE STILL NEVER TALK ABOUT IT!!! Except on the TV shows about the reunions. Things are getting better in that respect now.

Professional Reviews

Review from an Editor, Pinkie Arnot
Having been adopted by my father, and finding my other father as an adult, I found this story very compelling. It's deep, it's honest, it's real. Claudia is right - she tells it like it is from many angles and perspectives. This should be read by any person involved in any way with adoption. In her honest protrayal, she touches deep inside your heart. I have to truly admire a woman that's this honest with herself, her children, the world.

Review from an Editor, Reviewer and Friend, Elaine Rosbrugh
I can't even imagine the courage it must have taken for Claudia to write her story--.. The honesty is overwhelming--.. But, I do understand that she wrote this book to help others to understand the whole scope of adoption. From the beginning, this book draws you into her journey of finding her two sons. And the emotional bed of nails she went through to get there. A page turner that is brilliantly written and written with such a raw honesty - it brings tears to your eyes, yet you can't put it down!!

From Midwest Book Review
Notes From Nobody by Claudia (Balch) Turner VanLydegraf ISBN 1-58851-861-2 137 pages at 16.95 paperback PublishAmerica Frederick MD The subtitle of this book does, indeed, provide a telling introduction to the author's story. "A loving, helping, caring gift for one mother's adopted out lives." The two children she adopted out were both conceived in love. They never left her heart. Ms. VanLydegraf most assuredly had a lot of love to give if only life had turned in her favor. But both "princes" she loved and dreamed about as husbands turned out not to be so charming. It was the early 1960's when her youth and naievete got in the way of better judgement. The era of flower power and free love, in her case, was anything but free. She found herself young, pregnant, abandoned, and short on options in those days. What support her parents might have offered was limited by debilitating disease. In this true story, the author bluntly and honestly details the tragedy of unmarried pregnancy and the adoption process, what leads up to it as well as what haunts all parties afterwards for decades. The reunion with both adopted out sons is joyous, but remains bittersweet around the edges. Her heart and spirit were changed by life experience. She will never be the same, despite establishing relationships with both the sons she gave up in her teens. That is the poignant message delivered in Notes From Nobody. Mother Love cannot always conquer all, but it keeps trying no matter what. Laurel Johnson Midwest Book Review

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Reader Reviews for "Notes from Nobody"

Reviewed by Doug Boren 1/22/2003
The author shows real talent and courage in this true story about and by a birthmother who found her two children later in life. This bittersweet, honest, and touching tale is a poignant read for anyone who has ever dealt with adoption… either as a parent, or a child.
Reviewed by Lynn Barry 1/26/2002
I finally did read this book and I could not put it down....three hours. As an adoptive mother I highly recommend this book. Notes from Nobody is extremely well-written. I will keep gleaning from this story as I let it all digest and take what I need down the road in my life's experiences with my adopted daughter....Thanks Claudia.
Reviewed by JAMES HOLMES 12/15/2001
I have not read your book, I must know you ( can't remember you ) from Roosevelt High School in Fresno,CA, I started school there ( i think )in 1962. I was in the class of 1964. I dont have a 1962 yearbook.If you could, please send me a copy of your yearbook picture?
Congratulations on your book. THANKS, I would love to read it and all your writings.
Reviewed by Randolph Scott 12/4/2001
There's much other better work on this topic.
Reviewed by Kathy Bosworth 11/9/2001
Very powerful, honest story by a very courageous woman. Good luck to you.
Reviewed by Lynn Barry 10/9/2001
As an adoptive mother I look forward to reading this book. I see adoption from a different perspective and could use insight into the mindset of the birth parents and adopted children.
Reviewed by Paul Morin 10/4/2001
Tremendous courage are the words that come to mind.

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