Lodewell sees all and knows all!
In 2007 glass will prove to be the most deadly carcinogen on earth. All glass will have to be melted down and dropped into the sea where chemical reaction with salt water will
render it harmless. Glass will be replaced by a plant based material as yet undiscovered.
In 2016 a cross dresser from Utah will be elected to Congress.
In 2009 the leader of a country inimical to the West will rename his capitol city. The new name of the city will be a word which is considered obscene in English. The leader of this country will then undertake a vast public relations effort designed to embarrass English speakers the world over as he skywrites the new name of his city all over the planet.
In 2053 chips implanted in the brain will play music directly into the brain doing away with external musical devices.
In 2009 savage beatings will make a comeback as educators attempt to gain the upper hand in schools. Opinion shifts as more and more parents realize sparing the rod does spoil the child.
Starting about 2100 and continuing thereafter more and more humans the world over will be born with wheels instead of feet.
In 2137 a new island will arise in Lake Superior. It will feature an advanced civilization of crustaceans who will prove peaceful unless threatened.
In 2140 the United States will declare war on the Crustaceans.
In 2142 the Crustaceans will capture Minnesota, but that will be the extent of their gains. Afterwards an uneasy truce will prevail.
In 2012 a popular US senator will perish in a terrible accident. His place for the last 3 months of his term will be taken by his loyal dog who will be appointed by the governor. The dog will be re-elected to three terms.
In 2014 the sun will dim enough to drop temperatures on Earth by 10-12%. The grain belt will move south hundreds of miles making Mexico the new bread basket of the world. Canada and most of the upper Mid-West will be as cold as Alaska is today. This is only temporary and by 2020 the sun’s brightness will be back to normal.
In 2047 a U.S. president will declare himself gay and move his lover into the White House. Mississippi, Alabama, and Tennessee will secede from the Union.
In 2259 the Moon will swing out of orbit and move closer to Earth. As it gets closer the tides will dramatically increase. The increased tidal action and magnified and increased gravitational anomalies (including outer space friction, a dark matter conundrum little understood by physicists today) will cause a spout of water to jump from the Earth to the Moon. The added weight will cause an imbalance in the Moon’s spin causing the Moon to wobble. Eventually in 2264 the wobble will have the effect of causing the Moon to move toward the sun and then to eject the water originally taken from the Earth. The lowered temperature on the surface of the sun caused by the infusion of water will cause a new ice age on Earth lasting 100,000 years.
In March of 2024 the speed of continental drift will increase dramatically. Rather than moving less than an inch a year the continents will, by July of that year, speed along at 30 kilometers an hour. The feeling will be something like standing on a bus as it moves.
Collisions of tectonic plates will increase in violence with the increase in speed and all living things on the Earth will be forced to take up a gypsy lifestyle continually fleeing the subduction zones. In 2029 the speed of the plates will begin to decrease and by late 2030 all tectonic movement will have stopped. Most major coastal cities will be gone by then, dragged down into the Earth’s core.
In 2011 health insurance companies will refuse to accept claims from men with 12% or more body fat and women with body fat higher than 18%.
For the month of February in 2008 dogs in Kansas will meow and cats in Iowa will bark.
In 2013 a small black hole will hit the Earth, drilling a passage completely through the globe. Many strange and wonderful new creatures will emerge from the hole both in the United States and in China.
In 2018 zombie dinosaurs will stalk the Dakota badlands. A train carrying nuclear missiles will overturn and the escaping radioactive materials will cause the dinosaur bones buried there to ‘come to life’ and once again stalk the land. The plant eaters will quickly succumb to the carnivores because there is nothing for the vegetarians to eat, but once the carnivores ‘kill’ the plant eaters they will have no option but to turn on humans as the next largest source of food. The Army will end the menace, but will have to blow up the remaining fossil beds to prevent a re-occurrence.
In 2012, in Idaho, politicians running openly as Nazis on the American Nazi Party ticket will be elected as Governor and Lt. Governor, and take over the Idaho State House. They will initially attempt to force all non-whites to leave the state, but opposing Neo-Nazi groups will disrupt their plans when they set off bombs in the American Nazi Party headquarters.
In 2022 Congress will officially declare the “Era of Comfort” is over. Air conditioning will be banned for reasons related to energy costs and availability.
In 2107 a large meteorite will hit Antarctica. The heat from the impact will cause the icecap to melt – it will be balmy there. However, the impact of the large rock will throw the Earth off kilter and change not only the periodicity of revolution but the attitude. India ends up the North Pole and freezes in the winter created when the dust from the impact shuts out light and heat from the sun.
In 2033 chess will replace football as America’s favorite game. Football will continue for over 300 more years but it will never reclaim the position it held during the latter part of the 20th century.
In 2097 Harvard University will relocate to Mississippi. The Harvard Administration will look at the demographics of its own student body and realize that most of their best students come from the highest rated public schools in the country: Mississippi.
In 2173 Marriage will come to an end as we know it. Men and women will take up with animals for protection. Informal ceremonies will formalize these bonds. Members of fundamentalist religious sects will be the last to accept the changes but will have no choice when roving bands of men and dogs begin to burn the places of worship and eat the members raw.
IN 2067 all the gasses in Jupiter will escape into space through the great red spot. Jupiter will totally deflate over the span of three weeks until it is smaller that the moons of Mars. Jupiter’s moons will be set free like billiard balls on the break and will collide with other planets in the solar system.
Obesity will continue to be a problem. By 2100 Americans will average 420 pounds.
In 2020 a volcano will arise in the middle of Central Park in New York City. At first it will pose no real danger outside of its immediate area, but within a year escaping lava will dam the Hudson River flooding Manhattan and parts of New Jersey. Eventually escaping gasses and huge lava eruptions will destroy all of New York City and Eastern New Jersey. In 2024, as already predicted, New York City will vanish beneath the ocean as it enters a tectonic subduction zone.
In 2155 Aliens from outer space will land and begin openly harvesting humans for market in their empire. Protests are to no avail as the protesters are the first to be eaten.
As part of the Scottish Independence Movement pants for men will, as of 2011, no longer be legal in Scotland. Kilts will be the only accepted attire for men, though women may continue to wear britches. Non-Scots males in the country on business or on holiday will wear a generic tartan specifically devised for the purpose.
The human brain will continue to increase. By 2300 the brain will be so large that humans will need special braces to support the head. Persons without the braces will run the risk of a broken neck from even the gentlest breeze.
In 2010, in an effort to mollify students and keep them pacified until the age of 16, many school districts will replace such subjects as math, science, history and English with classes focusing on choosing the right television shows, techniques of chewing tobacco and sports hooliganism.