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Taming Your Inner And Outer Bullies
“You will never . . . ” “You can't . . . ” “You don’t deserve . . . ”
From the research and clinical work with people a dramatic discovery was made concerning our species. There is a consistency in human nature that begins in the mind, is reflected in relationships, and must dominate cultures since the dawn of our species. By my demystifying human psychology, you will know yourself better than ever before, and you will know others better than they know themselves. You will understand the human species in relation to the natural world, as well as have familiarity with the formidable impediments that thwart happier lives.
How To Tame The Inner And Outer Bullies That Bring You Unhappiness.
Despite my wish to offer you a quick route to a happier life there are no magic words that
will do that. Pep talks are worthless. Inane suggestions that ignore human nature and individuality never work. And let me assure you, I’m not in the fooling people business. My integrity is most dear to me. The truth matters. Accuracy matters.
How Come I Can’t Recognize Myself In Their Mirrors?
No one improves their lives for the better on misconceptions of human nature. Although unhappiness is the focal point of the work, demystifying human nature is its foundation. It is the unfortunate lack of knowledge, as well as the ambiguities and fictional psychology about our nature that results in people being confused on how to lift themselves out of the quagmire of their unhappy lives. As a licensed clinical social worker and school psychologist with over thirty years of experience treating individuals, couples, and families, I had come to question the validity of psychological theory that is as convoluted and mystifying as Einstein’s theories of relativity. Why is it personality “theory” and never a psychology of “facts”? How can anyone hope to achieve a happier life if they have no familiarity with the impediments preventing that success?
Years ago I came to realize that the study of human behavior only has merit when it is
logical, understandable, and beneficial in helping us to improve our lives.
Throughout the chapters you will come to understand it doesn’t take years in therapy to change your life for the better. Dark unconscious conflicts do not have you hopelessly chained to misery. You are not a walking personality disorder. A Freudian neurosis hasn’t entered your brain cells like a computer virus and destroyed your ability for a happier life, or worse—created a dysfunctional human being. By far I am not the first clinician to have the insight that mental illness is an illusion—a destructive fallacy that was created by physicians in earlier centuries who equated misunderstood unusual human behavior with diseases like cancer or diabetes (and that was an improvement from the previous beliefs of demonic possession). Currently, pharmaceutical companies are hailing more and more medications as being panaceas to depression. Their advertising aim is to convince all of you that you are suffering from all sorts of chemical imbalances, implying permanent brain dysfunction. Interestingly, I know many individuals that are using medications to feel better; however, none are achieving a happier life.
Let me state categorically, unhappiness is not a flaw in character, brain damage, or a
mental disorder, but rather a normal and natural predicament of being human that can be
overcome. When personality theorists created a psychology of disorders, by definition, it implied that there are people walking about on the planet with perfectly happy lives, no emotional problems, wonderful marriages, and fabulous self-esteems, but unfortunately, all of you and me are just not one of them. And that is fallacious and absurd.
5 Things We Learned From Taming Your Inner & Outer Bullies
Chicago Times July 9, 2006 by Bill Hageman Positive Review
Steven Rosenstein, a licensed clinical social worker and school psychologist, aims to guide people to a happier life by eliminating self-defeating behavior, such as unhealthy relationships, and explains how to avoid being victimized by bullies. Get rid of those things that undermine your happiness, he writes, and you will live a more confident, unburdened life.
1 We all live with varying degrees of unhappiness and we shouldn’t blame ourselves for it.
2 We all have “conscious” and “unconscious” bullies formed from our parents’ values, ethics, morals and principles. “Together they can cause serious unhappiness.”
3 Elvis Presley was an enraged and victimized child. His inner bullies manifested themselves throughout his life via fistfights, insecurity, drug addiction, nightmares and weight problems.
4 Parents who feel victimized by their children may retaliate by bullying. A child is told to pick up his toys but refuses, angering the parents who then screams at, spanks or otherwise punishes the child.
5 All marriages involve a bully-victim relationship; some are worse than others.
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