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Brian Greenleaf

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Member Since: Apr, 2007

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Born Bent Over: Flashing the Vertical Smile at Middle Age
by Brian Greenleaf   

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· The Paramedic
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Category: 

Humor

Publisher:  iUniverse Type: 
Pages: 

112

Copyright:  2008 ISBN-13:  9870595516955
Fiction

“Born Bent Over:” is an uproariously hysterical look at the life of a forty something as he suffers through the changes associated with getting older.

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B. Greenleaf

Have you blinded those around you when removing your baseball cap? 
Does your brush have more hair in it than your head has on it?
Are you serenaded while getting out of bed every morning by the Rice Crispy concerto played by your joints with the added “tuba” accompaniment from “southern” regions better left unheard from?
Do doctor visits include the mind numbing, sphincter tightening snap of a rubber glove and the requisite small talk aimed at taking your mind off the fact that your most intimate parts are being shamelessly violated?
Do beer hangovers last for days?
If you’ve answered yes to any of the above, this book is for you. 
Join me, if you dare, through the life altering, often humiliating and always hysterical trials and tribulations of a man coming to grips with the inevitable realities of middle age. This no-holds-barred look at life after forty takes a light hearted approach to bring to light the fact that we’re not getting any younger. 
Laugh at me if you will, but keep this in mind: “There’s only one way around middle age; and that’s unthinkable.” You, too, will be assimilated.
I hope your ride into the sunset is a long, prosperous, healthy and happy one.
 
 


Excerpt

Now available, at a retirement home near you……………….!

Has the hair on your head staged a mass exodus toward your back and ears?

Does it take you hours to find your car in a parking lot?

Have your friends and family started speaking slower and in louder voice when they speak to you?

Worst of all, do doctor’s appointments now include that spine tingling, gut wrenching snap of a rubber glove and idle conversation aimed at taking your mind off the fact that your most intimate parts are being shamelessly violated?

If you’ve answered “yes” to any of the above, welcome to middle age: that wonderful time of life when your body pays you back for all the abuses you’ve inflicted upon it for the last forty years.

Fear not, fellow sufferer, for you are not alone.

Born Bent Over: Flashing the Vertical Smile at Middle Age is a hysterically funny look at life after forty, guaranteed to have you rolling in the aisles and laughing at yourself and those other “forty-something’s” in your life.



Professional Reviews

Julie Donner Anderson
“Born Bent Over: Flashing the Vertical Smile at Middle Age” by Brian Greenleaf is a hysterical romp through the landmine of life we Baby Boomers refer to as middle age. Written as a series of humorous essays from a male perspective, this book also appeals to the estrogen set, with chapters that will have most “menopausal mamas” nodding in agreement and doubling over with laughter. Mr. Greenleaf flexes his comedic muscle best when writing about the inevitable physical aches and pains of aging and the necessary but feared procedures. If the thought of a colonoscopy has you wincing, this book will put your mind at ease just knowing you’re not alone. In fact, any book that so easily and humorously relates to real life, as this one certainly does, is a must-have if you wish to survive midlife with a smile…even if it’s a vertical one.

~Julie Donner Andersen, author of “Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge…of Midlife!” and “PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense! Insights From One Woman’s Journey as the Wife of a Widower”


Born Bent Over: Flashing the Vertical Smile at Middle Age: ISBN: 987-0-595-51695-5




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