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Joyce E Dunbar

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Member Since: Oct, 2007

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Straws That Break The Housewife's Back
by Joyce E Dunbar   

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Category: 

Humor

Publisher:  LuLu Type: 
Pages: 

315

Copyright:  September 2007 ISBN-13:  9781430327493
Fiction

Funny, illustrated short stories about everyday "things" and situations.

Barnes & Noble.com

 


Excerpt

Toilet paper - just saying the word automatically brings a giggle, doesn't it? Well, since outhouses went out of use along with their companion, that old, familiar mail-order catalog, no other item plays a more important "role" in our lives. We don't even mind piling it high on our grocery cart, not trying to hide it the way we do the beer and wine.

I'm a thrifty shopper and often buy the no-brand items; but when it comes to my toilet paper, I buy only the best. (Since I can't afford to be extravagant with anything else, why not?) Besides, I figure I'm saving money in the long run by not having to eventually end up buying tucks, witch hazel, and er, well, you know the other item. I don't think a bad toilet paper exists today, anyway. It all continues to get more scented, more colorful, more designed, and more soft. (Fess up, now; you squeezed the one you weren't supposed to at least once, didn't you?)

One would think toilet paper could present no real problems then, right? Wrong! I don't believe any member of my family realizes that little holder lifts out so another roll can be put on when the old one is staring back at them naked and gray. I'll bet when they experience the same symptoms as someone with Montezuma's Revenge, and don't notice the sad cardboard till it's too late, they'll wish they had learned how that darn thing works.

I use toilet paper for a lot of things, since tissues disappear from my house as fast as small change. What would we do without toilet paper when we have a cold or watery eyes caused by allergies or from peeling onions, or we need to give the lavatory taps a quick wipe?




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